THE  LIBRARY 

OF 
THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 
LOS  ANGELES 


r 


By  LADY  GREGORY 

Drama 

SEVEN  SHORT  PLAYS. 
FOLK-HISTORY  PLAYS.      2  VOLS. 
NEW  COMEDIES. 
THE  GOLDEN  APPLE. 
THE  DRAGON. 
OUR  IRISH  THEATRE.     A  CHAPTER 

OF  AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 
THE  KILTARTAN  MOLIERE. 
THE  IMAGE  AND  OTHER  PLAYS. 
THREE  WONDER  PLAYS. 

Irish  Folk-Lore  and  Legend 

VISIONS  AND  BELIEFS.     2  VOLS. 
CUCHULAIN  OF  MURITHEMNE. 
GODS  AND  FIGHTING  MEN. 
SAINTS  AND  WONDERS. 
POETS  AND  DREAMERS. 
THE  KILTARTAN  POETRY  BOOK. 
THE  KILTARTAN  HISTORY  BOOK. 


HUGH  LANE'S  LIFE  AND  ACHIEVE- 
MENT, WITH  SOME  ACCOUNT  OF 
THE  DUBLIN  GALLERIES. 


Three  Wonder  Plays 

The  Dragon — Aristotle's  Bellows 
The  Jester 


By 

Lady  Gregory 


G.  P.  Putnam's  Sons 

New  York  and  London 
fmfcherbochet    press 
1922 


Copyright,  1922 

by 
Augusta,  Lady  Gregory 


Made  in  the  United  States  of  America 


These  plays  have  been  copyrighted  in  the  United  States  and  Great 
Britain. 

All  rights  reserved,  including  that  of  translation  into  foreign  languages. 

All  acting  rights,  both  professional  and  amateur,  are  reserved  in  the 
United  States,  Great  Britain,  and  all  countries  of  the  Copyright  Union,  by 
the  author.  Performances  are  forbidden  and  right  of  presentation  is 
reserved. 

Application  for  the  right  of  performing  these  plays  or  reading  them  in 
public  should  be  made  to  Samuel  French,  28  West  38th  St.,  New  York 
City,  or  26  South  Hampton  St.,  Strand,  London. 


College 
Library 

PR 


CONTENTS 

PAGE 

THE  DRAGON         ......         i 

ARISTOTLE'S  BELLOWS    .         .         .         .         .     135 

THE  JESTER 217 


The  Dragon 


THE  DRAGON 

PERSONS 

The  King. 

The  Queen. 

The  Princess  Nuala. 

The  Dall  Glic  (THE  BLIND  WISE  MAN). 

The  Nurse. 

The  Prince  of  the  Marshes. 

Manus,  King  of  Sorcha. 

Fintan,  The  Astrologer. 

Taig. 

Sibby  (TAIG'S  MOTHER.) 

Gatekeeper. 

Two  Aunts  of  the  Prince  of  the  Marshes. 

Foreign  Men  Bringing  in  Food. 

The  Dragon. 


ACT  I 


ACT  I 

Scene:  A  room  in  the  King's  house  at  Barren. 
Large  window  at  back  with  deep  window 
seat.  Doors  right  and  left.  A  small  table 
and  some  chairs. 

Dall  Glic:  (Coming  in  with  tray,  which  he 
puts  on  table-  Goes  back  to  door.)  You  can 
come  in,  King.  There  is  no  one  here. 

King:  (Coming  in.)  That's  very  good.  I 
was  in  dread  the  Queen  might  be  in  it. 

Dall  Glic:  It  is  a  good  thought  I  had  bring- 
ing it  in  here,  and  she  gone  to  give  learning  to 
the  Princess.  She  is  not  likely  to  come  this 
side.  It  would  be  a  great  pity  to  annoy  her. 

King:  (Hastily  swallowing  a  mouthful.) 
Look  out  now  the  door  and  keep  a  good  watch. 
The  time  she  will  draw  upon  me  is  when  I  am 
eating  my  little  bite. 

Dall  Glic:    I'll  do  that.     What  I  wouldn't 

9 


io  The  Dragon 

see  with  my  one  eye,  there's  no  other  would 
see  with  three. 

King:  A  month  to-day  since  I  wed  with  her, 
and  well  pleased  I  am  to  be  back  in  my  own 
place.  I  give  you  word  my  teeth  are  rusting 
with  the  want  of  meat.  On  the  journey  I  got 
no  fair  play.  She  wouldn't  be  willing  to  see  me 
nourish  myself,  unless  maybe  with  the  marrow 
bone  of  a  wren. 

Dall  Glic:  Sure  she  lays  down  she  is  but 
thinking  of  the  good  of  your  health. 

King:  Maybe  so.  She  is  apt  to  be  paying  too 
much  attention  to  what  will  be  for  mine  and 
for  the  world's  good.  I  kept  my  health  fair 
enough,  and  the  first  wife  not  begrudging  me 
my  enough.  I  don't  know  what  in  the  world 
led  me  not  to  stop  as  I  was. 

Dall  Glic:  It  is  what  you  were  saying,  it  was 
for  the  good  of  the  Princess  Nuala,  and  of 
yourself. 

King:  That  is  what  herself  laid  down.  It 
would  be  a  great  ease  to  my  mind,  she  was  say- 
ing, to  have  in  the  house  with  the  young  girl, 


The  Dragon  n 

a  far-off  cousin  of  the  King  of  Alban,  and  that 
had  been  conversation  woman  in  his  Court. 

Dall  Glic:  So  it  might  be  too.  She  is  a  great 
manager  of  people. 

King:  She  is  that  ...  I  think  I  hear  her 
coming.  .  .  .  Throw  a  cloth  over  the  plates. 

Queen:  (Coming  in.)  I  was  in  search  of 
you. 

King:  I  thought  you  were  in  Nuala's  sunny 
parlour,  learning  her  to  play  music  and  to  go 
through  books. 

Queen:  That  is  what  I  thought  to  do.  But  I 
hadn't  hardly  started  to  teach  her  the  principles 
of  conversation  and  the  branches  of  relation- 
ships and  kindred  of  the  big  people  of  the 
earth,  when  she  plucked  off  the  coverings  I  had 
put  over  the  cages,  and  set  open  their  doors,  till 
the  fiery  birds  of  Sabes  and  the  canaries  of  the 
eastern  world  were  screeching  around  my 
head,  giving  out  every  class  of  cry  and  call. 

King:  So  they  would  too. 

Queen:  The  royal  eagles  stirred  up  till  I 
must  quit  the  place  with  their  squawking,  and 


12  The  Dragon 

the  enchanted  swans  raising  up  their  heads  and 
pecking  at  the  beadwork  on  my  gown. 

King:  Ah,  she  has  a  wish  for  the  birds  of  the 
air,  that  are  by  nature  light  and  airy  the  same 
as  herself. 

Queen:  It  is  time  for  her  to  turn  her  mind 
to  good  sense.  What's  that?  (Whipping 
cloth  from  tray.)  Is  it  that  you  are  eating 
again,  and  it  is  but  one  half -hour  since  your 
breakfast? 

King:  Ah,  that  wasn't  a  breakfast  you'd  call 
a  breakfast. 

Queen:  Very  healthy  food,  oaten  meal  flum- 
mery with  whey,  and  a  griddle  cake ;  dandelion 
tea  and  sorrel  from  the  field. 

King:  My  old  fathers  ate  their  enough  of 
wild  herbs  and  the  like  in  the  early  time  of  the 
world.  I'm  thinking  that  it  is  in  my  nature  to 
require  a  good  share  of  nourishment  as  if  to 
make  up  for  the  hardships  they  went  through. 

Queen:  What  now  have  you  within  that 
pastry  wall? 

King:  It  is  but  a  little  leveret  pie. 

Queen:    (Poking    with    fork.)       Leveret! 


The  Dragon  13 

What's  this  in  it  ?  The  thickness  of  a  blanket 
of  beef;  calves'  sweetbreads;  cocks'  combs; 
balls  mixed  with  livers  and  with  spice.  You 
to  so  much  as  taste  of  it,  you'll  be  crippled  and 
crappled  with  the  gout,  and  roaring  out  in  your 
pain. 

King:  I  tell  you  my  generations  have  enough 
done  of  fasting  and  for  making  little  of  the 
juicy  meats  of  the  world. 

Queen:  And  the  waste  of  it!  Goose  eggs 
and  jellies.  .  .  .  That  much  would  furnish  out 
a  dinner  for  the  whole  of  the  King  of  Alban's 
Court. 

King:  Ah,  I  wouldn't  wish  to  be  using  any- 
thing at  all,  only  for  to  gather  strength  for  to 
steer  the  business  of  the  whole  of  the  kingdom ! 

Queen:  Have  you  enough  ate  now,  my  dear? 
Are  you  satisfied? 

King:  I  am  not.  I  would  wish  for  a  little 
taste  of  that  saffron  cake  having  in  it  raisins  of 
the  sun. 

Queen:  Saffron!  Are  you  raving?  You  to 
have  within  you  any  of  the  four-and-twenty 


14  The  Dragon 

sicknesses  of  the  race,  it  would  throw  it  out  in 
red  blisters  on  your  skin. 

King:  Let  me  just  taste  one  little  slab  of 
that  venison  ham. 

Queen:  (Poking  with  a  fork.)  It  would  take 
seven  chewings!  Sudden  death  it  would  be! 
Leave  it  alone  now  and  rise  up.  To  keep  in 
health  every  man  should  quit  the  table  before 
he  is  satisfied — there  are  some  would  walk  to 
the  door  and  back  with  every  bite. 

King:  Is  it  that  I  am  to  eat  my  meal  stand- 
ing, the  same  as  a  crane  in  a  shallow,  or  moving 
from  tuft  to  thistle  like  you'd  see  a  jennet  on 
the  high  road  ? 

Queen:  Well,  at  the  least,  let  you  drink  down 
a  share  of  this  tansy  juice.  I  was  telling  you 
it  would  be  answerable  to  your  health. 

King:  You  are  doing  entirely  too  much  for 
me. 

Queen:  Sure  I  am  here  to  be  comfortable  to 
you.  This  house  before  I  came  into  it  was  but 
a  ship  without  a  rudder!  Here  now,  take  the 
spoon  in  your  hand. 


The  Dragon  15 

Dall  Glic:  Leave  it  there,  Queen,  and  I'll 
engage  he'll  swallow  it  down  bye-and-bye. 

Queen:  Is  it  that  you  are  meddling,  Dall 
Glic  ?  It  is  time  some  person  took  you  in  hand. 
I  wonder  now  could  that  dark  eye  of  yours  be 
cured  ? 

Dall  Glic:  It  is  given  in  that  it  can  not,  by 
doctors  and  by  druids. 

Queen:  That  is  a  pity  now,  it  gives  you  a 
sort  of  a  one-sided  look.  It  might  not  be  so 
hard  a  thing  to  put  out  the  sight  of  the  other. 

Dall  Glic:  I'd  sooner  leave  them  the  way 
they  are. 

Queen:  I'll  put  a  knot  on  my  handkerchief 
till  such  time  as  I  can  give  my  mind  to  it.  ... 
Now,  my  dear  (to  King),  make  no  more  delay. 
It  is  right  to  drink  it  down  after  your  meal. 
The  stomach  to  be  bare  empty,  the  medicine 
might  prey  upon  the  body  till  it  would  be  wore 
away  and  consumed. 

King:  Time  enough.  Let  it  settle  now  for 
a  minute. 

Queen:  Here,  now,  I'll  hold  your  nose  the 
way  you  will  not  get  the  taste  of  it. 


16  The  Dragon 

(She  holds  spoon  to  his  mouth.  A  ball 
flies  in  at  window;  he  starts  and 
medicine  is  spilled.) 

Princess:  (Coming  in  with  Nurse.)  Is  it 
true  what  they  are  telling  me? 

Queen:  Do  you  see  that  you  near  hit  the 
King  with  your  ball,  and,  what  is  worse  again, 
you  have  his  medicine  spilled  from  the  spoon. 

Princess:  (Patting  him.)     Poor  old  King. 

Queen:  Have  you  your  lessons  learned? 

Princess:  (Throwing  books  in  the  air.) 
Neither  line  nor  letter  of  them!  Poem  book! 
Brehon  Laws !  I  have  done  with  books !  I  am 
seventeen  years  old  to-day ! 

Queen:  There  is  no  one  would  think  it  and 
you  so  flighty  as  you  are. 

Princess:  (To  King.)  Is  it  true  that  the 
cook  is  gone  away? 

King:  (Aghast.)  What's  that  you're  say- 
ing? 

Queen:  Don't  be  annoying  the  King's  mind 
with  such  things.  He  should  be  hidden  from 
every  trouble  and  care. 

Princess:  Was  it  you  sent  him  away? 


The  Dragon  17 

Queen:  Not  at  all.  If  he  went  it  was 
through  foolishness  and  pride. 

Princess:  It  is  said  in  the  house  that  you 
annoyed  him. 

Queen:  I  never  annoyed  any  person  in  my 
life,  unless  it  might  be  for  their  own  good. 
But  it  fails  some  to  recognise  their  best  friend. 
Just  teaching  him  I  was  to  pickle  onion  thin- 
nings as  it  was  done  at  the  King  of  Alban's 
Court. 

Princess:  Didn't  he  know  that  before  ? 

Queen:  Whether  or  no,  he  gave  me  very 
little  thanks,  but  turned  around  and  asked  his 
wages.  Hurrying  him  and  harrying  him  he 
said  I  was,  and  away  with  him,  himself  and 
his  four-and-twenty  apprentices. 

King:  That  is  bad  news,  and  pitiful  news. 

Queen:  Do  not  be  troubling  yourself  at  all. 
It  will  be  easy  find  another. 

King:  It  might  not  be  easy  to  find  so  good 
a  one.  A  great  pity!  A  dinner  or  a  supper 
not  to  be  rightly  dressed  is  apt  to  give  no 
pleasure  in  the  eating  or  in  the  bye-and-bye. 

Queen:  I  have  taken  it  in  hand.     I  have 


1 8  The  Dragon 

a  good  headpiece!  I  put  out  a  call  with  run- 
ning lads,  and  with  the  army  captains  through 
the  whole  of  the  five  provinces ;  and  along  with 
that,  I  have  it  put  up  on  tablets  at  the  post 
office. 

Princess:  I  am  sorry  the  old  one  to  be  gone. 
To  remember  him  is  nearly  the  farthest  spot  in 
my  memory. 

Queen:  (Sharply.)  If  you  want  the  house 
to  be  under  your  hand  only,  it  is  best  for  you 
to  settle  into  one  of  your  own. 

Princess:  Give  me  the  little  rush  cabin  by 
the  stream  and  I'll  be  content. 

Queen:  If  you  mind  yourself  and  profit  by 
my  instruction  it  is  maybe  not  a  cabin  you  will 
be  moving  to  but  a  palace. 

Princess:  I'm  tired  of  palaces.  There  are 
too  many  people  in  them. 

Queen:  That  is  talking  folly.  When  you 
settle  yourself  it  must  be  in  the  station  where 
you  were  born. 

Princess:  I  have  no  mind  to  settle  myself 
yet  awhile. 

Nurse:  Ah,  you  will  not  be  saying  that  the 


The  Dragon  19 

time  Mr.  Right  will  come  down  the  chimney, 
and  will  give  you  the  marks  and  tokens  of  a 
king. 

Queen:  There  might  have  some  come  look- 
ing for  her  before  this,  if  it  was  not  for  you 
petting  and  pampering  her  the  way  you  do,  and 
encouraging  her  flightiness  and  follies.  It  is 
likely  she  will  get  no  offers  till  such  time  as  I 
will  have  taught  her  the  manners  and  the  right 
customs  of  courts. 

Nurse:  Sure  I  am  acquainted  with  courts 
myself.  Wasn't  it  I  fostered  comely  Manus 
that  is  presently  King  of  Sorcha,  since  his 
father  went  out  of  the  world  ?  And  as  to  lovers 
coming  to  look  for  her!  They  do  be  coming 
up  to  this  as  plenty  as  the  eye  could  hold  them, 
and  she  refusing  them,  and  they  laying  the 
blame  upon  the  King! 

King:  That  is  so,  they  laying  the  blame  up- 
on myself.  There  was  the  uncle  of  the  King 
of  Leinster ;  he  never  sent  me  another  car-load 
of  asparagus  from  the  time  you  banished  him 
away. 

Princess:  He  was  a  widower  man. 


2O  The  Dragon 

King:  As  to  the  heir  of  Orkney,  since  the 
time  you  sent  him  to  the  right  about,  I  never 
got  so  much  as  a  conger  eel  from  his  hand. 

Princess:  As  dull  as  a  fish  he  was.  He  had 
a  fish's  eyes. 

King:  That  wasn't  so  with  the  champion  of 
the  merings  of  Ulster. 

Princess:  A  freckled  man.  He  had  hair 
the  colour  of  a  fox. 

King:  I  wish  he  didn't  stpp  sending  me  his 
tribute  of  heather  beer. 

Queen:  It  is  a  poor  daughter  that  will  not 
wish  to  be  helpful  to  her  father. 

Princess:  If  I  am  to  wed  for  the  furnish- 
ing of  my  father's  table,  it's  as  good  for  you 
to  wrap  me  in  a  speckled  fawnskin  and  roast 
me! 

(Runs  out,  tossing  her  ball.) 

Queen:  She  is  no  way  fit  for  marriage  unless 
with  a  herd  to  the  birds  of  the  air,  till  she  has 
a  couple  of  years  schooling. 

King:  It  would  be  hard  to  put  her  back  to 
that. 


The  Dragon  21 

Queen:  I  must  take  it  in  hand.  She  is  get- 
ting entirely  too  much  of  her  own  way. 

Nurse:  Leave  her  alone,  and  in  the  end  it 
will  be  a  good  way. 

Queen:  To  keep  rules  and  hours  she  must 
learn,  and  to  give  in  to  order  and  good  sense. 
(To  King.)  There  is  a  pigeon  messenger  I 
brought  from  Alban  I  am  about  to  let  loose  on 
this  day  with  news  of  myself  and  of  yourself. 
I  will  send  with  it  a  message  to  a  friend  I  have, 
bidding  her  to  make  ready  for  Nuala  a  place 
in  her  garden  of  learning  and  her  school. 

King:  That  is  going  too  fast.  There  is  no 
hurry. 

Queen:  She  is  seventeen  years.  There  is  no 
day  to  be  lost.  I  will  go  write  the  letter. 

Nurse:  Oh,  you  wouldn't  send  away  the 
poor  child ! 

Dall  Glic:  It  would  be  a  great  hardship  to 
send  her  so  far.  Our  poor  little  Princess  Nu ! 

Queen:  (Sharply.)  What  are  saying? 
(Dall  Glic  is  silent.) 

King:  I  would  not  wish  her  to  be  sent  out 
of  this. 


22  The  Dragon 

Queen:  There  is  no  other  way  to  set  her 
mind  to  sense  and  learning.  It  will  be  for  her 
own  good. 

Nurse:  Where's  the  use  troubling  her  with 
lessons  and  with  books  that  maybe  she  will 
never  be  in  need  of  at  all.  Speak  up  for  her, 
King. 

King:  Let  her  stop  for  this  year  as  she  is. 

Queen:  You  are  all  too  soft  and  too  easy. 
She  will  turn  on  you  and  will  blame  you  for  it, 
and  another  year  or  two  years  slipped  by. 

Nurse:  That  she  may! 

Dall  Glic:  Who  knows  what  might  take 
place  within  the  twelvemonth  that  is  coming? 

King:  Ah,  don't  be  talking  about  it.  Maybe 
it  never  might  come  to  pass. 

Dall  Glic:  It  will  come  to  pass,  if  there  is 
truth  in  the  clouds  of  sky. 

King:  It  will  not  be  for  a  year,  anyway. 
There'll  be  many  an  ebbing  and  flowing  of  the 
tide  within  a  year. 

Queen:  What  at  all  are  you  talking  about? 

King:  Ah,  where's  the  use  of  talking  too 
much. 


The  Dragon  23 

Queen:  Making  riddles  you  are,  and  striv- 
ing to  keep  the  meaning  from  your  comrade, 
that  is  myself. 

King:  It's  best  not  be  thinking  about  the 
thing  you  would  not  wish,  and  maybe  it  might 
never  come  around  at  all.  To  strive  to  forget 
a  threat  yourself,  it  might  maybe  be  forgotten 
by  the  universe. 

Queen:  Is  it  true  something  was  threatened? 

King:  How  would  I  know  is  anything  true, 
and  the  world  so  full  of  lies  as  it  is? 

Nurse:  That  is  so.  He  might  have  been 
wrong  in  his  foretelling.  What  is  he  in  the 
finish  but  an  old  prophecy? 

Dall  Glic:  Is  it  of  Fintan  you  are  saying 
that? 

Queen:  And  who,  will  you  tell  me,  is  Fintan  ? 

Dall  Glic:  Anyone  that  never  heard  tell  of 
Fintan  never  heard  anything  at  all. 

Queen:  His  name  was  not  up  on  the  tablets 
of  big  men  at  the  King  of  Alban's  Court,  or  of 
Britain. 

Nurse:  Ah,  sure  in  those  countries  they  are 
without  religion  or  belief. 


24  The  Dragon 

Queen:  Is  it  that  there  was  a  prophecy? 

King:  Don't  mind  it.  What  are  prophecies ? 
Don't  we  hear  them  every  day  of  the  week? 
And  if  one  comes  true  there  may  be  seven  blind 
and  come  to  nothing. 

Queen:  (To  Dall  Glic.)  I  must  get  to  the 
root  of  this,  and  the  handle.  Who,  now,  is 
Fintan  ? 

Dall  Glic:  He  is  an  astrologer,  and  under- 
standing the  nature  of  the  stars. 

Nurse:  He  wore  out  in  his  lifetime  three 
eagles  and  three  palm  trees  and  three  earthen 
dykes.  It  is  down  in  a  cleft  of  the  rocks  be- 
yond he  has  his  dwelling  presently,  the  way 
he  can  be  watching  the  stars  through  the  day- 
time. 

Dall  Glic:  He  prophesied  in  a  prophecy,  and 
it  is  written  in  clean  letters  in  the  King's  yew- 
tree  box. 

King:  It  is  best  to  keep  it  out  of  sight.  It 
being  to  be,  it  will  be;  and,  if  not,  where's  the 
use  troubling  our  mind? 

Queen:  Sound  it  out  to  me. 

Dall    Glic:  (Looking    from    window    and 


The  Dragon  2$ 

drawing  curtain.)  There  is  no  story  in  the 
world  is  worse  to  me  or  more  pitiful ;  I  wouldn't 
wish  any  person  to  hear. 

Nurse:  Oh,  take  care  it  would  come  to  the 
ears  of  my  darling  Nu! 

Dall  Glic:  It  is  said  by  himself  and  the 
heavens  that  in  a  year  from  this  day  the  King's 
daughter  will  be  brought  away  and  devoured 
by  a  scaly  Green  Dragon  that  will  come  from 
the  North  of  the  World. 

Queen:  A  Dragon!  I  thought  you  were 
talking  of  some  danger.  I  wouldn't  give  in  to 
dragons.  I  never  saw  one.  I'm  not  in  dread 
of  beasts  unless  it  might  be  a  mouse  in  the 
night-time ! 

King:  Put  it  out  of  mind.  It  is  likely  any- 
way that  the  world  will  soon  be  ended  the  way' 
it  is. 

Queen:  I  will  send  and  search  out  this  as- 
trologer and  will  question  him. 

Dall  Glic:  You  have  not  far  to  search.  He 
is  outside  at  the  kitchen  door  at  this  minute, 
and  as  if  questioning  after  something,  and  it 


26  The  Dragon 

a  half -score  and  seven  years  since  I  knew  him 
to  come  out  of  his  cave. 

King:  Do  not!  He  might  waken  up  the 
Dragon  and  put  him  in  mind  of  the  girl,  for  to 
make  his  own  foretelling  come  true. 

Nurse:  Ah,  such  a  thing  cannot  be!  The 
poor  innocent  child!  (Weeps.) 

Queen:  Where's  the  use  of  crying  and  roar- 
ing? The  thing  must  be  stopped  and  put  an 
end  to.  I  don't  say  I  give  in  to  your  story,  but 
that  would  be  an  unnatural  death.  I  would  be 
scandalized  being  stepmother  to  a  girl  that 
would  be  swallowed  by  a  sea-serpent! 

Nurse:  Ochone!  Don't  be  talking  of  it  at 
all! 

Queen:  At  the  King  of  Alban's  Court,  one 
of  the  /royal  family  to  die  over,  it  will  be 
naturally  on  a  pillow,  and  the  dead-bells  ring- 
ing, and  a  burying  with  white  candles,  and 
crape  on  the  knocker  of  the  door,  and  a  flag- 
stone put  over  the  grave.  What  way  could  we 
put  a  stone  or  so  much  as  a  rose-bush  over 
Nuala  and  she  in  the  inside  of  a  water-worm 


The  Dragon  27 

might  be  ploughing  its  way  down  to  the  north 
of  the  world? 

Nurse:  Och!  that  is  what  is  killing  me  en- 
tirely! O  save  her,  save  her. 

King:  I  tell  you,  it  being  to  be,  it  will  be. 

Queen:  You  may  be  right,  so,  when  you 
would  not  go  to  the  expense  of  paying  her 
charges  at  the  Royal  school.  But  wait,  now, 
there  is  a  plan  coming  into  my  mind. 

Nurse:  There  must  surely  be  some  way! 

Queen:  It  is  likely  a  king's  daughter  the 
beast — if  there  is  a  beast— will  come  questing 
after,  and  not  after  a  king's  wife. 

Dall  Glic:  That  is  according  to  custom. 

Queen:  That's  what  I  am  saying.  What  we 
have  to  do  is  to  join  Nuala  with  a  man  of  a  hus- 
band, and  she  will  be  safe  from  the  danger 
ahead  of  her.  In  all  the  inventions  made  by 
poets,  for  to  put  terror  on  children  or  to  knock 
laughter  out  of  fools,  did  any  of  you  ever  hear 
of  a  Dragon  swallowing  the  wedding-ring? 

All:  We  never  did. 

Queen:  It's  easy  enough  so.  There  must  be 
no  delay  till  Nuala  will  be  married  and  wed 


28  The  Dragon 

with  someone  that  will  bring  her  away  out  of 
this,  and  let  the  Dragon  go  hungry  home ! 

Nurse:  That  she  may!  Isn't  it  a  pity  now 
she  being  so  hard  to  please ! 

Queen:  Young  people  are  apt  to  be  selfish 
and  to  have  no  thought  but  for  themselves. 
She  must  not  be  hard  to  please  when  it  will  be 
to  save  and  to  serve  her  family  and  to  keep  up 
respect  for  their  name.  Here  she  is  coming. 

Nurse:  Ah,  you  would  not  tell  her!  You 
would  not  put  the  dear  child  under  the  shadow 
of  such  a  terror  and  such  a  threat! 

King:  She  must  not  be  told.  I  never  could 
bear  up  against  it. 

(Nuala  comes  in.) 

Queen:  Look  now  at  your  father  the  way 
he  is. 

Princess:  (Touching  his  hand.)  What  is 
fretting  you? 

Queen:  His  heart  as  weighty  as  that  the 
chair  near  broke  under  him. 

Princess:  I  never  saw  you  this  way  before. 

Queen:  And  all  on  the  head  of  yourself ! 


The  Dragon  29 

Princess:  I  am  sorry,  and  very  sorry,  for 
that. 

Queen:  He  is  loth  to  say  it  to  you,  but  he  is 
tired  and  wore  out  waiting  for  you  to  settle 
with  some  match.  See  what  a  troubled  look 
he  has  on  his  face. 

Princess:  (To  King.)  Is  it  that  you  want 
me  to  leave  you ?  (He  gives  a  sob. )  (To  Dall 
Glic. )  Is  it  the  Queen  urged  him  to  this  ? 

Dall  Glic:  If  she  did,  it  was  surely  for  your 
good. 

Nurse:  Oh,  my  child  and  my  darling,  let 
you  strive  to  take  a  liking  to  some  good  man 
that  will  come! 

Princess:  Are  you  going  against  me  with 
the  rest? 

Nurse:  You  know  well  I  would  never  do 
that! 

Princess:  Do  you,  father,  urge  me  to  go  ? 

King:  They  are  in  too  big  a  hurry.  Why 
wouldn't  they  wait  a  while,  for  a  quarter,  or 
three-quarters  of  a  year. 

Princess:  Is  that  all  the  delay  I  am  given, 


30  The  Dragon 

and  the  term  is  set  for  me,  like  a  servant  that 
would  be  banished  from  the  house? 

King:  That's  not  it.  That's  not  right.  I 
would  never  give  in  to  let  you  go  ...  if  it 
wasn't  .  .  . 

Princess:  I  know.  (Stands  up.)  For  my 
own  good! 

(Trumpet  outside.) 

Gatekeeper:  (Coming  in.)  There  is  com- 
pany at  the  door. 

Queen:  Who  is  it? 

Gatekeeper:  Servants,  'and  a  company  of 
women,  and  one  that  would  seem  to  be  a  Prince, 
and  young. 

Princess:  Then  he  is  come  asking  me  in 
marriage. 

Dall  Glic:  Who  is  he  at  all? 

Gatekeeper:  They  were  saying  he  is  the  son 
of  the  King  of  the  Marshes. 

King:  Go  bring  him  in. 
(Gatekeeper  goes.) 

Dall  Glic:  That's  right!  He  has  great 
riches  and  treasure.  There  are  some  say  he  is 
the  first  match  in  Ireland. 


The  Dragon  31 

Nurse:  He  is  not.  If  his  father  has  a  cop- 
per crown,  and  our  own  King  a  silver  one,  it 
is  the  King  of  Sorcha  has  a  crown  of  gold! 
The  young  King  of  Sorcha  that  is  the  first 
match. 

Dall  Glic:  If  he  is,  this  one  is  apt  to  be  the 
second  first. 

Queen:  Do  you  hear,  Nuala,  what  luck  is 
flowing  to  you  ? 

Dall  Glic:  Do  not  now  be  turning  your  back 
on  him  as  you  did  to  so  many. 

Princess:  No;  whoever  he  is,  it  is  likely  I 
will  not  turn  away  from  this  one. 

Queen:  Go  now  and  ready  yourself  to  meet 
him. 

Princess:  Am  I  not  nice  enough  the  way 
I  am? 

Queen:  You  are  not.  The  King  of  Alban's 
daughter  has  hair  as  smooth  as  if  a  cow  had 
licked  it. 

{Princess  goes.) 

Gatekeeper:  Here  is  the  Prince  of  the 
Marshes ! 


32  The  Dragon 

(Enter  Prince,  very  young  and  timid, 
an  old  lady  on  each  side  slightly  in 
advance  of  him.) 

King:  A  great  welcome  before  you 

And  who  may  these  be  ? 

Prince:  Seven  aunts  I  have  .  .  . 

First  Aunt:  (Interrupting. )  If  he  has,  there 
are  but  two  of  us  have  come  along  with  him. 

Second  Aunt:  For  to  care  him  and  be  com- 
pany for  him  on  his  journey,,  it  being  the  first 
time  he  ever  quitted  home. 

Queen:  This  is  a  great  honour.  Will  you 
take  a  chair  ? 

First  Aunt:  Leave  that  for  the  Prince  of 
the  Marshes.  It  is  away  from  the  draught  of 
the  window. 

Second  Aunt:  We  ourselves  are  in  charge 
of  his  health.  I  have  here  his  eel-skin  boots 
for  the  days  that  will  be  wet  under  foot. 

First  Aunt:  And  I  have  here  my  little  bag 
of  cures,  with  a  cure  in  it  that  would  rise  the 
body  out  of  the  grave  as  whole  and  as  sound 
as  the  time  you  were  born. 
(Lays  it  down.) 


The  Dragon  33 

King:  (To  Prince.)  It  is  many  a  day  your 
father  and  myself  were  together  in  our  early 
time.  What  way  is  he  ?  He  was  farther  out  in 
age  than  myself. 

Prince:  He  is  ... 

First  Aunt:  (Interrupting.)  He  is  only 
middling  these  last  years.  The  doctors  have 
taken  him  in  hand. 

King:  He  was  more  for  fowling,  and  I 
was  more  for  horses — before  I  increased  so 
much  in  girth.  Is  it  for  horses  you  are, 
Prince? 

Prince:  I  didn't  go  up  on  one  up  to  this. 

First  Aunt:  Kings  and  princes  are  getting 
scarce.  They  are  the  most  class  is  wearing 
away,  and  it  is  right  for  them  keep  in  mind 
their  safety. 

Second  Aunt:  The  Prince  has  no  need  to 
go  upon  a  horse,  where  he  has  always  a  coach 
at  his  command. 

King:  It  is  fowling  that  suits  you  so? 

Prince:  I  would  be  well  pleased  .  .  . 

First  Aunt:  There  is  great  danger  going 


34  The  Dragon 

out  fowling  with  a  gun  that  might  turn  on  you 
after  and  take  your  life. 

Second  Aunt:  Why  would  the  Prince  go  into 
danger,  having  servants  that  will  go  following 
after  birds? 

Queen:  He  is  likely  waiting  till  his  enemies 
will  make  an  attack  upon  the  country  to  defend 
it. 

First  Aunt:  There  is  a  good  dyke  around 
about  the  marshes,  and  a  sort  of  quaking  bog. 
It  is  not  likely  war  will  come  till  such  time  as 
it  will  be  made  by  the  birds  of  the  air. 

King:  Well,  we  must  strive  to  knock  out 
some  sport  or  some  pleasure. 

Prince:  It  was  not  on  pleasure  I  was  sent. 

First  Aunt:  That's  so,  but  on  business. 

Second  Aunt:  Very  weighty  business. 

King:  Let  the  lad  tell  it  out  himself. 

Prince:  I  hope  there  is  no  harm  in  me  corn- 
ing hither.  I  would  be  loth  to  push  on  you  .  .  . 

First  Aunt:  We  thought  it  was  right,  as  he 
was  come  to  sensible  years  .  .  . 

King:  Stop  a  minute,  ma'am,  give  him  his 
time. 


The  Dragon  35 

Prince:  My  father  .  .  .  and  his  counsel- 
lors .  .  .  and  my  seven  aunts  .  .  .  that  said 
it  would  be  right  for  me  to  join  with  a  wife. 

Queen:  They  showed  good  sense  in  that. 

Prince:  {Rapidly.)  They  bade  me  come 
and  take  a  look  at  your  young  lady  of  a  Prin- 
cess to  see  would  she  be  likely  to  be  pleasing 
to  them. 

First  Aunt:  That's  it,  and  that  is  what 
brought  ourselves  along  with  him — to  see 
would  we  be  satisfied. 

King:  I  don't  know.  The  girl  is  young — 
she's  young. 

First  Aunt:  It  is  what  we  were  saying,  that 
might  be  no  drawback.  It  might  be  easier  train 
her  in  our  own  ways,  and  to  do  everything  that 
is  right. 

King:  Sure  we  are  all  wishful  to  do  the  thing 
that  is  right,  but  it's  sometimes  hard  to  know. 

Second  Aunt:  Not  in  our  place.  What  the 
King  of  the  Marshes  would  not  know,  his  coun- 
sellors and  ourselves  would  know. 

Queen:  It  will  be  very  answerable  to  the 
Princess  to  be  under  such  good  guidance. 


36  The  Dragon 

First  Aunt:  For  low  people  and  for  mid- 
dling people  it  is  well  enough  to  follow  their 
own  opinion  and  their  will.  But  for  the 
Prince's  wife  to  have  any  choice  or  any  will 
of  her  own,  the  people  would  not  believe  her  to 
be  a  real  princess. 

(Princess  comes  to  door,  listening  un- 
seen. ) 

King:  Ah,  you  must  not  be  too  strict  with 
a  girl  that  has  life  in  her. 

Prince:  My  seven  aunts  that  were  saying 
they  have  a  great  distrust  of  any  person  that  is 
lively. 

First  Aunt:  We  would  rather  than  the 
greatest  beauty  in  the  world  get  him  a  wife 
who  would  be  content  to  stop  in  her  home. 

(Princess  comes  in  very  stately  and 
with  a  fine  dress.  She  curtseys. 
Aunts  curtsey  and  sit  down  again. 
Prince  bows  uneasily  and  sidles 
away- ) 

First  Aunt:  Will  you  sit,  now,  between  the 
two  of  us? 
Princess:  It  is  more  fitting  for  a  young  girl 


The  Dragon  37 

to  stay  in  her  standing  in  the  presence  of  a 
king's  kindred  and  his  son,  since  he  is  come 
so  far  to  look  for  me. 

Second  Aunt:  That  is  a  very  nice  thought. 

Princess:  My  far-off  grandmother,  the  old 
people  were  telling  me,  never  sat  at  the  table 
to  put  a  bit  in  her  mouth  till  such  time  as  her 
lord  had  risen  up  satisfied.  She  was  that  obedi- 
ent to  him  that  if  he  had  bidden  her,  she  would 
have  laid  down  her  hand  upon  red  coals. 
(Prince  looks  bored  and  fidgets.) 

First  Aunt:  Very  good  indeed. 

Princess:  That  was  a  habit  with  my  grand- 
mother. I  would  wish  to  follow  in  her  ways. 

King:  This  is  some  new  talk. 

Queen:  Stop;  she  is  speaking  fair  and  good. 

Princess:  A  little  verse,  made  by  some  good 
wife,  I  used  to  be  learning.  "I  always  should : 
Be  very  good :  At  home  should  mind :  My  hus- 
band kind:  Abroad  obey:  What  people  say." 

First  Aunt:  (Getting  up.)  To  travel  the 
world,  I  never  thought  to  find  such  good  sense 
before  rne.  Do  you  hear  that,  Prince,  f 


38  The  Dragon 

Prince:  Sure  I  often  heard  yourselves  shap- 
ing that  sort. 

Second  Aunt:  I'll  engage  the  royal  family 
will  make  no  objection  to  this  young  lady  tak- 
ing charge  of  your  house. 

Princess:  I  can  do  that!  (Counts  on  fin- 
gers.) To  send  linen  to  the  washing- tub  on 
Monday,  and  dry  it  on  Tuesday,  and  to  mangle 
it  Wednesday,  and  starch  it  Thursday,  and 
iron  it  Friday,  and  fold  it  in  the  press  against 
Sunday ! 

Second  Aunt:  Indeed  there  is  little  to  learn 
you !  And  on  Sundays,  now,  you  will  go  driv- 
ing in  a  painted  coach,  and  your  dress  sewed 
with  gold  and  with  pearls,  and  the  poor  of  the 
world  envying  you  on  the  road. 

Queen:  (Claps  hands.)  There  is  no  one  but 
must  envy  her,  and  all  that  is  before  her  for 
her  lifetime! 

First  Aunt:  Here  is  the  golden  arm-ring 
the  Prince  brought  for  to  slip  over  your  hand. 

Second  Aunt:  It  was  put  on  all  our  genera- 
tions of  queens  at  the  time  of  the  making  of 
their  match. 


The  Dragon  39 

Princess:  (Drawing  back  her  hand.)  Mine 
is  not  made  yet. 

First  Aunt:  Didn't  you  hear  me  saying,  and 
the  Prince  saying,  there  is  nothing  could  be 
laid  down  against  it. 

Princess:  There  is  one  thing  against  it. 

Queen:  Oh,  there  can  be  nothing  worth 
while ! 

Princess:  A  thing  you  would  think  a  great 
drawback  and  all  your  kindred  would  think  it. 

Queen:  (Rapidly.)  There  is  nothing,  but 
maybe  that  she  is  not  so  tall  as  you  might  think, 
through  the  length  of  the  heels  of  her  shoes. 

Second  Aunt:  We  would  put  up  with  that 
much. 

Princess:  (Rapidly.)  It  is  that  there  was 
a  spell  put  upon  me — by  a  water-witch  that  was 
of  my  kindred.  At  some  hours  of  the  day  I  am 
as  you  see  me,  but  at  other  hours  I  am  changed 
into  a  sea-filly  from  the  Country-under-Wave. 
And  when  I  smell  salt  on  the  west  wind  I  must 
race  and  race  and  race.  And  when  I  hear  the 
call  of  the  gulls  or  the  sea-eagles  over  my  head, 
I  must  leap  up  to  meet  them  till  I  can  hardly 


40  The  Dragon 

tell  what  is  my  right  element,  is  it  the  high  air 
or  is  it  the  loosened  spring-tide ! 

Queen:  Stop  your  nonsense  talk.  She  is 
gone  wild  and  raving  with  the  great  luck  that 
is  come  to  her! 

(Prince  has  stood  up,  and  is  watching 
her  eagerly.) 

Princess:  I  feel  a  wind  at  this  very  time  that 
is  blowing  from  the  wilderness  of  the  sea,  and 
I  am  changing  with  it.  .  .'  .  There.  (Pulls 
down  her  hair. )  Let  my  mane  go  free !  I  will 
race  you,  Prince,  I  will  race  you !  The  wind  of 
March  will  not  overtake  me,  Prince,  and  I  run- 
ning on  the  top  of  the  white  waves ! 

(Runs  out;  Prince  entranced,  rushes  to 
door.) 

Aunts:  (Catching  hold  of  him.)  Are  you 
going  mad  wild  like  herself? 

Prince:  Oh,  I  will  go  after  her! 

First  Aunt:  (Clutching  him.)  Do  not!  She 
will  drag  you  to  destruction. 

Prince:  (Struggling  to  door.)  What  mat- 
ter !  Let  me  go  or  she  will  escape  me !  (Shak- 


The  Dragon  41 

ing  himself  free. )    I  will  never  stop  till  I  come 
to  her. 

(He  rushes  out,  Second  Aunt  still  hold- 
ing on  to  him.) 

First  Aunt:  What  at  all  has  come  upon  him? 
I  never  knew  him  this  way  before! 
(She  trots  after  him.) 

Princess:  (Comes  leaping  in  by  window.) 
They  are  gone  running  the  road  to  Muckanish ! 
But  they  won't  find  me ! 

Queen:  You  have  a  right  to  be  ashamed  of 
yourself  and  your  play-game.  It's  easy  for  you 
to  go  joking,  having  neither  cark  nor  care :  that 
is  no  way  to  treat  the  second  best  match  in 
Ireland ! 

King:  You  were  saying  you  had  your  mind 
made  up  to  take  him. 

Princess:  It  failed  me  to  do  it!  Himself 
and  his  counsellors  and  his  seven  aunts ! 

Queen:  He  will  give  out  that  you  are  crazed 
and  mad. 

Princess:  He  will  be  thankful  to  his  life's 
end  to  have  got  free  of  me ! 

King:  I  don't  know.     It  seemed  to  me  he 


42  The  Dragon 

was  better  pleased  with  you  in  the  finish  than 
in  the  commencement.  But  I'm  in  dread  his 
father  may  not  be  well  pleased. 

Princess:  (Patting  him.)  Which  now  of 
the  two  of  you  is  the  most  to  be  pitied?  He  to 
have  such  a  timid  son  or  you  to  have  such  an 
unruly  daughter? 

Queen:  It  is  likely  he  will  make  an  attack 
on  you.  There  was  a  war  made  by  the  King 
of  Britain  on  the  head  of  a  terrier  pup  that  was 
sent  to  him  and  that  made  away  on  the  road 
following  hares.  It's  best  for  you  to  make 
ready  to  put  yourself  at  the  head  of  your  troop. 

King:  It's  long  since  I  went  into  my  battle 
dress.  I'm  in  dread  it  would  not  close  upon 
my  chest. 

Queen:  Ah,  it  might,  so  soon  as  you  would 
go  through  a  few  hardships  in  the  fight. 

King:  If  the  rest  of  Adam's  race  was  of  my 
opinion  there'd  be  no  fighting  in  the  world  at 
all. 

Queen:  It  is  this  child's  stubbornness  is  lead- 
ing you  into  it.  Go  out,  Nuala,  after  the 


The  Dragon  43 

Prince.  Tell  him  you  are  sorry  you  made  a 
fool  of  him. 

Princess:  He  was  that  before — thinking  to 
put  me  sitting  and  sewing  in  a  cushioned  chair, 
listening  to  stories  of  kings  making  a  slaughter 
of  one  another. 

Queen:  Tell  him  you  have  changed  your 
mind,  that  you  were  but  funning ;  that  you  will 
wed  with  him  yet. 

Princess:  I  would  sooner  wed  with  the 
King  of  Poison !  I  to  have  to  go  to  his  king- 
dom, I'd  sooner  go  earning  my  wages  footing 
turf,  with  a  skirt  of  heavy  flannel  and  a  dress 
of  the  grey  frieze!  Himself  and  his  bogs  and 
his  frogs! 

Queen:  I  tell  you  it  is  time  for  you  to  take 
a  husband. 

Princess:  You  said  that  before !  And  I  was 
giving  in  a  while  ago,  and  I  felt  the  blood  of 
my  heart  to  be  rising  against  it!  And  I  will 
not  give  in  to  you  again!  It  is  my  own  busi- 
ness and  I  will  take  my  own  way. 

Queen:  (To  King.)  This  is  all  one  with 
the  raving  of  a  hag  against  heaven! 


44  The  Dragon 

King:  What  the  Queen  is  saying  is  right 
Try  now  and  come  around  to  it. 

Princess:  She  has  set  you  against  me  with 
her  talk! 

Queen:  (To  King.)  It  is  best  for  you  to  lay 
orders  on  her. 

Princess:  The  King  is  not  under  your 
orders ! 

Queen:  You  are  striving  to  make  him  give 
in  to  your  own ! 

King:  I  will  take  orders  from  no  one  at  all ! 

Queen:  Bid  her  go  bring  back  the  Prince. 

Princess:  I  say  that  I  will  not ! 

Queen:  She  is  standing  up  against  you! 
Will  you  give  in  to  that? 

King:  I  am  bothered  with  the  whole  of  you! 
I  will  give  in  to  nothing  at  all ! 

Queen:  Make  her  do  your  bidding  so. 

King:  Can't  you  do  as  you  are  told? 

Princess:  This  concerns  myself. 

King:  It  does,  and  the  whole  of  us. 

Princess:  Do  you  think  you  can  force  me 
to  wed? 

King:  I  do  think  it,  and  I  will  do  it. 


The  Dragon  45 

Princess:  It  will  fail  you ! 

King:  It  will  not!  I  was  too  easy  with  you 
up  to  this. 

Princess:  Will  you  turn  me  out  of  the 
house  ? 

King:  I  will  give  you  my  word,  it  is  little 
but  I  will! 

Princess:  Then  I  have  no  home  and  no 
father!  It  is  to  my  mother  you  must  give  an 
account.  You  know  well  it  is,  with  the  first 
wife  you  will  go  at  the  Judgment ! 

Queen:  Is  it  that  you  would  make  threats 
to  the  King?  And  put  insults  upon  myself? 
Now  she  is  daring  and  defying  you!  Let  you 
put  an  end  to  it ! 

King:  I  will  do  that!  (Stands  up.)  I  swear 
by  the  oath  my  people  swear  by,  the  seven 
things  common  to  us  all ;  by  sun  and  moon ;  sea 
and  dew ;  wind  and  water ;  the  hours  of  the  day 
and  night,  I  will  give  you  in  marriage  and  in 
wedlock  to  the  first  man  that  will  come  into  the 
house ! 

Princess:  (Shrinking  as  from  a  blow.)  It 
is  the  Queen  has  done  this. 


46  The  Dragon 

Queen:  I  will  give  you  out  the  reason,  and 
see  will  you  put  blame  on  me  or  praise! 

Nurse:  Oh,  let  you  stop  and  not  draw  it 
down  upon  her ! 

Queen:  It  is  right  for  me  to  tell  it;  it  is  true 
telling!  You  not  to  be  married  and  wed  by 
this  day  twelvemonth,  there  will  be  a  terrible 
thing  happen  you  .  .  . 

Nurse:  Be  quiet!  Don't  you  see  Fintan 
himself  looking  in  the  window! 

King:  Fintan!  What  is  it  bring  you  here 
on  this  day? 

Fintan:  (A  very  old  man  in  strange  clothes 
at  window.)  What  brings  me  is  to  put  my 
curse  upon  the  whole  tribe  of  kitchen  boys  that 
are  gone  and  vanished  out  of  this,  without 
bringing  me  my  request,  that  was  a  bit  of  ren- 
dered lard  that  would  limber  the  swivel  of  my 
spy-glass,  that  is  clogged  with  the  dripping  of 
the  cave. 

Nurse:  And  you  have  no  bad  news  ? 

Queen:  Nothing  to  say  on  the  head  of  the 
Princess,  this  being,  as  it  is,  her  birthday? 

Fintan:  What   birthday?     This   is   not   a 


The  Dragon  47 

birthday  that  signifies.  It  is  the  next  will  be 
the  birthday  will  be  concerned  with  the  great 
story  that  is  foretold. 

Queen:  It  is  right  for  her  to  know  it. 

King:  It  is  not!    It  is  not! 

Princess:  Whatever  the  story  is,  let  me 
know  it,  and  not  be  treated  as  a  child  that  is 
without  courage  or  sense. 

Fintan:  It's  long  till  I'll  come  out  from  my 
cleft  again,  and  getting  no  peace  or  quiet  on 
the  ridge  of  the  earth.  It  is  laid  down  by  the 
stars  that  cannot  lie,  that  on  this  day  twelve- 
month, you  yourself  will  be  ate  and  devoured 
by  a  scaly  Green  Dragon  from  the  North ! 

END  OF  ACT   I. 


ACT  II 


ACT  II 

Scene:  The  Same.    Princess  and  Nurse. 

Nurse:  Cheer  up  now,  my  honey  bird,  and 
don't  be  fretting. 

Princess:  It  is  not  easy  to  quit  fretting,  and 
the  terrible  story  you  are  after  telling  me  of 
all  that  is  before  and  all  that  is  behind  me. 

Nurse:  They  had  no  right  at  all  to  go  make 
you  aware  of  it.  The  Queen  has  too  much 
talk.  An  unlucky  stepmother  she  is  to  you ! 

Princess:  It  is  well  for  me  she  is  here.  It  is 
well  I  am  told  the  truth,  where  the  whole  of 
you  were  treating  me  like  a  child  without  sense, 
so  giddy  I  was  and  contrary,  and  petted  and 
humoured  by  the  whole  of  you.  What  memory 
would  there  be  left  of  me  and  my  little  life  gone 
by,  but  of  a  headstrong,  unruly  child  with  no 
thought  but  for  myself. 

Nurse:  No,  but  the  best  in  the  world  you 
51 


52  The  Dragon 

are;  there  is  no  one  seeing  you  pass  by  but 
would  love  you. 

Princess:  That  is  not  so.  I  was  wild  and 
taking  my  own  way,  mocking  and  humbugging. 

Nurse.  I  never  will  give  in  that  there  is  no 
way  to  save  you  from  that  Dragon  that  is  fore- 
told to  be  your  destruction.  I  would  give  the 
four  divisions  of  the  world,  and  Ireland  along 
with  them,  if  I  could  see  you  pelting  your  ball 
in  at  the  window  the  same  as  an  hour  ago ! 

Princess:  Maybe  you  will,  so  long  as  it  will 
hurt  nobody. 

Nurse:  Ah,  sure  it's  no  wonder  there  to  be 
the  tracks  of  tears  upon  your  face,  and  that 
great  terror  before  you. 

Princess:  I  will  wipe  them  away !  I  will  not 
give  in  to  danger  or  to  dragons !  No  one  will 
see  a  dark  face  on  me.  I  am  a  king's  daughter 
of  Ireland,  I  did  not  come  out  of  a  herd's  hut 
like  Deirdre  that  went  sighing  and  lamenting 
till  she  was  put  to  death,  the  world  being  sick 
and  tired  of  her  complaints,  and  her  finger  at 
her  eye  dripping  tears ! 


The  Dragon  53 

Nurse:  That's  right,  now.  You  had  always 
great  courage. 

Princess:  There  is  like  a  change  within  me. 
You  never  will  hear  a  cross  word  from  me 
again.  I  would  wish  to  be  pleasant  and  peace- 
able until  such  time  .  .  . 

(Puts  handkerchief  to  eyes  and  goes.) 

Dall  Glic:  (Coming  in.)  The  King  is 
greatly  put  out  with  all  he  went  through,  and 
the  way  the  passion  rose  in  him  a  while  ago. 

Nurse:  That  he  may  be  twenty  times  worse 
before  he  is  better!  Showing  such  fury  to- 
wards the  innocent  child  the  way  he  did ! 

Dall  Glic:  The  Queen  has  brought  him  to 
the  grass  plot  for  to  give  him  his  exercise, 
walking  his  seven  steps  east  and  west. 

Nurse:  Hasn't  she  great  power  over  him  to 
make  him  do  that  much? 

Dall  Glic:  I  tell  you  I  am  in  dread  of  her 
myself.  Some  plan  she  has  for  making  my  two 
eyes  equal.  I  vexed  her  someway,  and  she  got 
queer  and  humpy,  and  put  a  lip  on  herself,  and 
said  she  would  take  me  in  hand.  I  declare  I 
never  will  have  a  minute's  ease  thinking  of  it. 


54  The  Dragon 

Nurse:  The  King  should  have  done  his 
seven  steps,  for  I  hear  her  coming. 

(Dall  Glic  goes  to  recess  of  window.) 

Queen:  {Coming  in.)  Did  you,  Nurse,  ever 
at  any  time  turn  and  dress  a  dinner  ? 

Nurse:  (Very  stiff.)  Indeed  I  never  did. 
Any  house  I  ever  was  in  there  was  a  good  kit- 
chen and  well  attended,  the  Lord  be  praised! 

Queen:  Ah,  but  just  to  be  kind  and  to  oblige 
the  King. 

Nurse:  Troth,  the  same  King  will  wait  long 
till  he'll  see  any  dish  I  will  ready  for  him !  I 
am  not  one  that  was  reared  between  the  flags 
and  the  oven  in  the  corner  of  the  one  room! 
To  be  a  nurse  to  King's  children  is  my  trade, 
and  not  to  go  stirring  mashes,  for  hens  or  for 
humans ! 

Queen:  I  heard  a  crafty  woman  lay  down 
one  time  there  was  no  way  to  hold  a  man,  only 
by  food  and  flattery. 

Nurse:  Sure  any  mother  of  children  walk- 
ing the  road  could  tell  you  that  much. 

Queen:  I  went  maybe  too  far  urging  him 
not  to  lessen  so  much  food  the  way  he  did.  I 


The  Dragon  55 

only  thought  to  befriend  him.  But  now  he  is 
someway  upset  and  nothing-  will  rightly  smooth 
him  but  to  be  thinking  upon  his  next  meal ;  and 
what  it  will  be  I  don't  know,  unless  the  berries 
of  the  bush. 

Dall  Glic:  (Leaning  out  of  the  window.) 
Here !  Hi !  Come  this  way ! 

Queen:  Who  are  you  calling  to? 

Dall  Glic:  It  is  someone  with  the  appear- 
ance of  a  cook. 

Queen:  Are  you  saying  it  is  a  cook?    That 
now  will  put  the  King  in  great  humour ! 
(Manus  appears  at  the  window.) 

Nurse:  (Looking  at  him.)  I  wouldn't 
hardly  think  he'd  suit.  He  has  a  sort  of  inno- 
cent look.  I  wouldn't  say  him.  to  be  a  country 
lad.  I  don't  know  is  he  fitted  to  go  readying 
meals  for  a  royal  family,  and  the  King  so 
wrathful  if  they  do  not  please  him  as  he  is. 
And  as  to  the  Princess  Nu!  There  to  be  the 
size  of  a  hayseed  of  fat  overhead  on  her  broth, 
she'd  fall  in  a  dead  faint. 

Manus:  I'll  go  on  so. 


56  The  Dragon 

Queen:  No,  no.  Bring  him  in  till  I'll  take 
a  look  at  him ! 

Manus:  (Coming  inside.)  I  am  a  lad  in 
search  of  a  master. 

Manus:  (Inside.)  I  am  a  lad  in  search  of 
a  master. 

Queen:  And  I  myself  that  am  wanting  a 
cook. 

Manus:  I  got  word  of  that  and  I  going  the 
road. 

Queen:  You  would  seem  to  be  but  a  young 
lad. 

Manus:  I  am.  not  very  far  in  age  to-day. 
But  I'll  be  a  day  older  to-morrow. 

Queen:  In  what  country  were  you  born  and 
reared  ? 

Manus:  I  came  from  over,  and  I  am  coming 
hither. 

Queen:  What  wages  now  would  you  be 
asking? 

Manus:  Nothing  at  all  unless  what  you 
think  I  will  have  earned  at  the  time  I  will  be 
leaving  your  service. 

Queen:  That  is  very  right  and  fair.    I  hope 


The  Dragon  57 

you  will  not  be  asking  too  much  help.  The  last 
cook  had  a  whole  fleet  of  scullions  that  were  no 
use  but  to  chatter  and  consume. 

Manus:  I  am  asking  no  help  at  all  but  the 
help  of  the  ten  I  bring  with  me. 
(Holds  up  fingers.) 

Queen:  That  will  be  a  great  saving  in  the 
house !  Can  I  depend  upon  you  now  not  to  be 
turning  to  your  own  use  the  King's  ale  and 
his  wine? 

Manus:  If  you  take  me  to  be  a  thief  I  will 
go  upon  my  road.  It  was  no  easier  for  me  to 
come  than  to  go  out  again. 

Queen:  (Holding  him.)  No,  now,  don't  be 
so  proud  and  thinking  so  much  of  yourself. 
If  I  give  you  trial  here  I  would  wish  you  to  be 
ready  to  turn  your  hand  to  this  and  that,  and 
not  be  saying  it  is  or  is  not  your  business. 

Manus:  My  business  is  to  do  as  the  King 
wishes. 

Queen:  That's  right.  That  is  the  way  the 
servants  were  in  the  palace  of  the  King  of 
Alban. 


58  The  Dragon 

Manus:  That's  the  way  I  was  myself  in  the 
King's  house  of  Sorcha. 

Queen:  Are  you  saying  it  is  from  that  place 
you  are  come?  Sure  that  should  be  a  great 
household!  The  King  of  Sorcha,  they  were 
telling  me,  has  seven  castles  on  land  and  seven 
on  the  sea,  and  provision  for  a  year  and  a  day 
in  every  one  of  them. 

Manus:  That  might  be.  I  never  was  in 
more  than  one  of  them  at  the  one  time. 

Queen:  Anyone  that  has  been  in  that  place 
would  surely  be  fitting  here.  Keep  him,  Nurse ! 
Don't  let  him  make  away  from  us  till  I  will  go 
call  the  King! 

(Goes  out.) 

Nurse:  Sure  it  was  I  myself  that  fostered 
the  young  King  of  Sorcha  and  reared  him  in 
my  lap!  What  way  is  he  at  all?  My  lovely 
child !  Give  me  news  of  him ! 

Manus:  I  will  do  that  .  .  . 

Nurse:  To  hear  of  him  would  delight  me ! 

Manus:  It  is  I  that  can  tell  you.  .  .  . 

Nurse:  It  is  himself  should  be  a  grand  king! 

Manus:  Listen  till  you  hear!  .   .   . 


The  Dragon  59 

Nurse:  His  father  was  good  and  his  mother 
was  good,  and  it's  likely,  himself  will  be  the 
best  of  all ! 

Manus:  Be  quiet  now  and  hearken!  .  .  . 

Nurse:  I  remember  well  the  first  day  I  saw 
him  in  the  cradle,  two  and  a  score  of  years 
back!  Oh,  it  is  glad,  and  very  glad,  I'll  be  to 
get  word  of  him ! 

Manus:  He  is  come  to  sensible  years.  .  .  . 

Nurse:  A  golden  cradle  it  was  and  it  stand- 
ing on  four  golden  balls  the  very  round  of  the 
sun! 

Manus:  He  is  out  of  his  cradle  now. 
(Shakes  her  shoulder. )  Let  you  hearken !  He 
is  in  need  of  your  help. 

Nurse:  He'll  get  it,  he'll  get  it.  I  doted 
down  on  that  child !  The  best  to  laugh  and  to 
roar! 

Manus:  (Putting  hand  on  her  mouth.) 
Will  you  be  silent,  you  hag  of  a  nurse?  Can't 
you  see  that  I  myself  am  Manus,  the  new  King 
of  Sorcha? 

Nurse:  (Starting  back.)  Do  you  say  that? 
And  how's  every  bit  of  you?  Sure  I'd  know 


60  The  Dragon 

you  in  any  place.  Stand  back  till  I'll  get  the 
full  of  my  eyes  of  you!  Like  the  father  you 
are,  and  you  need  never  be  sorry  to  be  that! 
Well,  I  said  to  myself  and  you  looking  in  at  the 
window,  I  would  not  believe  but  there's  some 
drop  of  kings'  blood  in  that  lad ! 

Manus:  That  was  not  what  you  said  to  me ! 

Nurse:  And  wasn't  the  journey  long  on  you 
from  Sorcha,  that  is  at  the  rising  of  the  sun? 
Is  it  your  foot-soldiers  and  your  bullies  you 
brought  with  you,  or  did  you  come  with  your 
hound  and  your  deer-hound  and  with  your 
horn? 

Manus:  There  was  no  one  knew  of  my  jour- 
ney. I  came  bare  alone.  I  threw  a  shell  in  the 
sea  and  made  a  boat  of  it,  and  took  the  track 
of  the  wild  duck  across  the  mountains  of  the 
waves. 

Nurse:  And  where  in  the  world  wide  did 
you  get  that  dress  of  a  cook? 

Manus:  It  was  at  a  tailor's  place  near 
Oughtmana.  There  was  no  one  in  the  house 
but  the  mother.  I  left  my  own  clothes  in  her 
charge  and  my  purse  of  gold;  I  brought  noth- 


The  Dragon  61 

ing  but  my  own  blue  sword.  (Throws  open 
blouse  and  shows  it.)  She  gave  me  this  suit, 
where  a  cook  from  this  house  had  thrown  it 
down  in  payment  for  a  drink  of  milk.  I  have 
no  mind  any  person  should  know  I  am  a  king. 
I  am  letting  on  to  be  a  cook. 

Nurse:  I  would  sooner  you  to  come  as  a 
champion  seeking  battle,  or  a  horseman  that 
had  gone  astray,  or  so  far  as  a  poet  making 
praises  or  curses  according  to  his  treatment  on 
the  road.  It  would  be  a  bad  day  I  would  see 
your  father's  son  taken  for  a  kitchen  boy. 

Manus:  I  was  through  the  world  last  night 
in  a  dream.  It  was  dreamed  to  me  that  the 
King's  daughter  in  this  house  is  in  a  great 
danger. 

Nurse:  So  she  is,  at  the  end  of  a  twelve- 
month. 

Manus:  My  warning  was  for  this  day.  See- 
ing her  under  trouble  in  my  dream,  my  heart 
was  hot  to  come  to  her  help.  I  am  here  to  save 
her,  to  meet  every  troublesome  thing  that  will 
come  at  her. 


62  The  Dragon 

Nurse:  Oh,  my  heavy  blessing  on  you  doing 
that! 

Manus:  I  was  not  willing  to  come  as  a  king, 
that  she  would  feel  tied  and  bound  to  live  for 
if  I  live,  or  to  die  with  if  I  should  die.  I  am 
come  as  a  poor  unknown  man,  that  may  slip 
away  after  the  fight,  to  my  own  kingdom  or 
across  the  borders  of  the  world,  and  no  thanks 
given  him  and  no  more  about  him,  but  a  mem- 
ory of  the  shadow  of  a  cook! 

Nurse:  I  would  not  think  that  to  be  right, 
and  you  the  last  of  your  race.  It  is  best  for 
you  to  tell  the  King. 

Manus:  I  lay  my  orders  on  you  to  tell  no 
one  at  all. 

Nurse:  Give  me  leave  but  to  whisper  it  to 
the  Princess  Nu.  It's  ye  would  be  the  finest 
two  the  world  ever  saw.  You  will  not  find  her 
equal  in  all  Ireland! 

Manus:  I  lay  it  as  crosses  and  as  spells  on 
you  to  say  no  word  to  her  or  to  any  other  that 
will  make  known  my  race  or  my  name.  Give 
me  now  your  oath. 


The  Dragon  63 

Nurse:  (Kneeling.)  I  do,  I  do.  But  they 
will  know  you  by  your  high  looks. 

Manus:  Did  you  yourself  know  me  a  while 
ago? 

Nurse:  (Getting  up.)  Oh,  they're  coming! 
Oh,  my  poor  child,  what  way  will  you  that 
never  handled  a  spit  be  able  to  make  out  a  din- 
ner for  the  King? 

Manus:  This  silver  whistle,  that  was  her 
pipe  of  music,  was  given  to  me  by  a  queen 
among  the  Sidhe  that  is  my  godmother.  At 
the  sound  of  it  there  will  come  through  the  air 
any  earthly  thing  I  wish  for,  at  my  command. 

Nurse:  Let  it  be  a  dinner  so. 

Manus:  So  it  will  come,  on  a  green  table- 
cloth carried  by  four  swans  as  white  as  snow. 
The  freshest  of  every  meat,  the  oldest  of  every 
drink,  nuts  from  the  trees  in  Adam's  Paradise ! 
(King,  Queen,  Princess,  Dall  Glic  come 
in.  Princess  sits  on  window  sill.) 

Queen:  (To  King.)  Here  now,  my  dear. 
Wasn't  I  telling  you  I  would  take  all  trouble 
from  your  mind,  and  that  I  would  not  be  with- 
out finding  a  cook  for  you? 


64  The  Dragon 

King:  He  came  in  a  good  hour.  The  want 
of  a  right  dinner  has  downed  kingdoms  before 
this. 

Queen:  Travelling  he  is  in  search  of  service 
from  the  kings  of  the  earth.  His  wages  are  in 
no  way  out  of  measure. 

King:  Is  he  a  good  hand  at  his  trade? 

Queen:  Honest  he  is,  I  believe,  and  ready  to 
give  a  hand  here  and  there. 

King:  What  way  does  he  handle  flesh,  I'd 
wish  to  know?  And  all  that  comes  up  from 
the  tide?  Bream,  now;  that  is  a  fish  is  very 
pleasant  to  me — stewed  or  fried  with  butter  till 
the  bones  of  it  melt  in  your  mouth.  There  is 
nothing  in  sea  or  strand  but  is  the  better  of  a 
quality  cook — only  oysters,  that  are  best  left 
alone,  being  as  they  are  all  gravy  and  fat. 

Queen:  I  didn't  question  him  yet  about 
cookery. 

King:  It's  seldom  I  met  a  woman  with  right 
respect  for  food,  but  for  show  and  silly  dishes 
and  trash  that  would  leave  you  in  the  finish  as 
dwindled  as  a  badger  on  St.  Bridget's  day. 

Queen:  If  this  youth  of  a  young  man  was 


The  Dragon  65 

able  to  give  satisfaction  at  the  King  of  Sor- 
cha's  Court,  I  am  sure  that  he  will  make  a  din- 
ner to  please  yourself. 

Manus:  I  will  do  more  than  that.  I  will 
dress  a  dinner  that  will  please  myself. 

Princess:  (Clapping  hands.)  Very  well 
said! 

King:  Sound  out  now  some  good  dishes  such 
as  you  used  to  be  giving  in  Sorcha,  and  the 
Queen  will  put  them  down  in  a  line  of  writing, 
that  I  can  be  thinking  about  them  till  such  time 
as  you  will  have  them  readied. 

Queen:  There  are  sheeps'  trotters  below; 
you  might  know  some  tasty  way  to  dress  them. 

Manus:  I  do  surely.  I'll  put  the  trotters 
within  a  fowl,  and  the  fowl  within  a  goose,  and 
the  goose  in  a  suckling  pig,  and  the  suckling 
pig  in  a  fat  lamb,  and  the  lamb  in  a  calf,  and 
the  calf  in  a  Maderalla  .  .  . 

King:  What  now  is  a  Maderalla? 

Manus:  He  is  a  beast  that  saves  the  cook 
trouble,  swallowing  all  those  meats  one  after 
another — in  Sorcha. 

King:  That  should  be  a  very  pretty  dish. 


66  The  Dragon 

Let  you  go  make  a  start  with  it  the  way  we 
will  not  be  famished  before  nightfall.  Bring 
him,  Dall  Glic,  to  the  larder. 

Dall  Glic:  I'm  in  dread  it's  as  good  for  him 
to  stop  where  he  is. 

King:  What  are  you  saying? 

Dall  Glic:  Those  lads  of  apprentices  that 
left  nothing  in  it  only  bare  hooks. 

Nurse:  It  is  the  Queen  would  give  no  leave 
for  more  provision  to  come  in,  saying  there 
was  no  one  to  prepare  it. 

Manus:  If  that  is  so,  I  will  be  forced  to  lay 
my  orders  on  the  Hawk  of  the  Grey  Rock  and 
the  Brown  Otter  of  the  Stream  to  bring  in 
meat  at  my  bidding. 

King:  Hurry  on  so. 

Queen:  I  myself  will  go  and  give  you  in- 
structions what  way  to  use  the  kitchen. 

Manus:  Not  at  all!  What  I  do  I'd  as  lief 
do  in  your  own  royal  parlour !  (Blows  whistle; 
two  dark-skinned  men  come  in  with  vessels.) 
Give  me  here  those  pots  and  pans ! 

Queen:  What  now  is  about  to  take  place? 


The  Dragon  67 

Dall  Glic:  I  not  to  be  blind,  I  would  say 
those  to  be  very  foreign-looking  men. 

King:  It  would  seem  as  if  the  world  was 
grown  to  be  very  queer. 

Queen:  So  it  is,  and  the  mastery  being  given 
to  a  cook. 

Manus:  So  it  should  be  too !  It  is  the  King 
of  Shades  and  Shadows  would  have  rule  over 
the  world  if  it  wasn't  for  the  cooks! 

King:  There's  some  sense  in  that  now. 

(Strange  men  are  moving  and  arrang- 
ing baskets  and  vessels. ) 

Manus:  There  was  respect  for  cooks  in  the 
early  days  of  the  world.  What  way  did  the 
Sons  of  Tuireann  get  their  death  but  going 
questing  after  a  cooking  spit  at  the  bidding  of 
Lugh  of  the  Long  Hand!  And  if  a  spit  was 
worthy  of  the  death  of  heroes,  what  should  the 
man  be  worth  that  is  skilled  in  turning  it? 
What  is  the  difference  between  man  and  beast  ? 
Beast  and  bird  devour  what  they  find  and  have 
no  power  to  change  it.  But  we  are  Druids  of 
those  mysteries,  having  magic  and  virtue  to 
turn  hard  grain  to  tender  cakes,  and  the  very 


68  The  Dragon 

skin  of  a  grunting  pig  to  crackling  causing 
quarrels  among  champions,  and  it  singing  upon 
the  coals.  A  cook!  If  I  am  I  am  not  without 
good  generations  before  me!  Who  was  the 
first  old  father  of  us,  roasting  and  reddening 
the  fruits  of  the  earth  from  hard  to  soft,  from 
bitter  to  kind,  till  they  are  fit  for  a  lady's  plat- 
ter? What  is  it  leaves  us  in  the  hard  cold  of 
Christmas  but  the  robbery  from  earth  of 
warmth  for  the  kitchen  fire  of  (takes  off  cap) 
the  first  and  foremost  of  all  master  cooks — 
the  Sun! 

Princess:  You  are  surely  not  ashamed  of 
your  trade ! 

Manus:  To  work  now,  to  work.  I'll  engage 
to  turn  out  a  dinner  fit  for  Pharaoh  of  Egypt 
or  Pharamond  King  of  the  Franks!  Here, 
Queen,  is  a  silver-breast  phoenix — draw  out 
the  feathers — they  are  pure  silver — fair  and 
clean.  (Queen  plucks  eagerly.)  King,  take 
your  golden  sceptre  and  stir  this  pot. 
(Gives  him  one.) 

King:  (Interested.)    What  now  is  in  it? 

Manus:  A  broth  that  will  rise  over  the  side 


The  Dragon  69 

and  be  consumed  and  split  if  you  stop  stirring 
it  for  one  minute  only!  (King  stirs  furi- 
ously.) Princess  (She  is  looking  on  and  he 
goes  over  to  her),  there  are  honey  cakes  to  roll 
out,  but  I  will  not  ask  you  to  do  it  in  dread  that 
you  might  spoil  the  whiteness  .  .  . 

Princess:  I  have  no  mind  to  do  it. 

Manus:  Of  the  flour! 

Princess:  Give  them  here. 

(Rolls  them  out  indignantly.) 

Manus:  That  is  right.  Take  care,  King, 
would  the  froth  swell  over  the  brim. 

Princess:  It  seems  to  me  you  are  doing  but 
little  yourself. 

Manus:  I  will  turn  now  and  ....  boil 
these  eggs. 

(Takes  some  on  a  plate;  they  roll  off.) 

Princess:  You  have  broken  them, 

Manus:  (Disconcerted.)  It  was  to  show 
you  a  good  trick,  how  to  make  them  sit  up  on 
the  narrow  end. 

Princess:  That  is  an  old  trick  in  the  world. 

Manus:  Every  trick  is  an  old  one,  but  with 
a  change  of  players,  a  change  of  dress,  it  comes 


7o  The  Dragon 

out  as  new  as  before.    Princess  (speaks  low),  I 
have  a  message  to  give  you  and  a  pardon  to  ask. 

Princess:  Give  me  out  the  message. 

Manus:  Take  courage  and  keep  courage 
through  this  day.  Do  not  let  your  heart  fail. 
There  is  help  beside  you. 

Princess:  It  has  been  a  troublesome  day  in- 
deed. But  there  is  a  worse  one  and  a  great 
danger  before  me  in  the  far  away. 

Manus:  That  danger  will  'come  to-day,  the 
message  said  in  the  dream.  Princess,  I  have 
a  pardon  to  ask  you.  I  have  been  playing  vani- 
ties. I  think  I  have  wronged  you  doing  this. 
It  was  surely  through  no  want  of  respect. 

Gatekeeper:  (Coming  in-)  There  is  word 
come  from  Ballyvelehan  there  is  a  coach  and 
horses  facing  for  this  place  over  from  Ought- 
mana. 

Queen:  Who  would  that  be  ? 

Gatekeeper:  Up  on  the  hill  a  woman  was, 
brought  word  it  must  be  some  high  gentleman. 
She  could  see  all  colours  in  the  coach,  and 
flowers  on  the  horse's  heads. 
(Goes  out.) 


The  Dragon  71 

f 

Dall  Glic:  That  is  good  hearing.  I  was  in 
dread  some  man  we  would  have  no  welcome 
for  would  be  the  first  to  come  in  this  day. 

Queen:  Not  a  fear  of  it.  I  had  orders  given 
to  the  Gateman  who  he  would  and  would 
not  keep  out.  I  did  that  the  very  minute 
after  the  King  making  his  proclamation  and 
his  law. 

King:  Pup,  pup.  You  need  not  be  drawing 
that  down. 

Queen:  It  is  well  you  have  myself  to  care 
you  and  to  turn  all  to  good.  I  gave  orders  to 
the  Gateman,  I  say,  no  one  to  be  let  in  to  the 
door  unless  carriage  company,  no  other  ones, 
even  if  they  should  wipe  their  feet  upon  the 
mat.  I  notched  that  in  his  mind,  telling  him 
the  King  was  after  promising  the  Princess  Nu 
in  marriage  to  the  first  man  that  would  come 
into  the  house. 

Manus:  The  King  gave  out  that  word? 

Queen:  I  am  after  saying  that  he  did. 

Dall  Glic:  Come  along,  lad.  Don't  be  put- 
ting ears  on  yourself. 


72  The  Dragon 

Manus:  I  ask  the  King  did  he  give  out  that 
promise  as  the  Queen  says? 

King:  I  have  but  a  poor  memory. 

Nurse:  The  King  did  say  it  within  the  hour, 
and  swore  to  it  by  the  oath  of  his  people,  tak- 
ing contracts  of  the  sun  and  moon  of  the  air ! 

Dall  Glic:  What  is  it  to  you  if  he  did? 
Come  on,  now. 

Manus:  No.  This  is  a  master  that  concerns 
myself. 

Queen:  How  do  you  make  that  out? 

Manus:  You,  that  called  me  in,  know  well 
that  I  was  the  first  to  come  into  the  house. 

Queen:  Ha,  ha!  You  have  the  impudence! 
It  is  a  man  the  King  said.  He  was  not  talking 
about  cooks. 

Manus:  (To  the  King-)  I  am  before  you 
as  a  serving  lad,  and  you  are  a, King  in  Ireland. 
Because  you  are  a  King  and  I  your  hired  ser- 
vant you  will  not  refuse  me  justice.  You  gave 
your  word. 

King:  If  I  did  it  was  in  haste  and  in  vexa- 
tion, and  striving  to  save  her  from  destruction. 


The  Dragon  73 

Manus:  I  call  you  to  keep  to  your  word  and 
to  give  your  daughter  to  no  other  one. 

Queen:  Speak  out  now,  Dall  Glic,  and  give 
your  opinion  and  your  advice. 

Dall  Glic:  I  would  say  that  this  lad  going 
away  would  be  no  great  loss. 

Manus:  I  did  not  ask  such  a  thing,  but  as 
it  has  come  to  me  I  will  hold  to  my  right. 

Queen:  It  would  be  right  to  throw  him  to 
the  hounds  in  the  kennel ! 

Manus:  (To  King.)  I  leave  it  to  the  judg- 
ment of  your  blind  wise  man. 

Queen:  (To  Dall  Glic.)  Take  care  would 
you  offend  myself  or  the  King! 

Manus:  I  put  it  on  you  to  split  justice  as  it 
is  measured  outside  the  world. 

Dall  Glic:  It  is  hard  for  me  to  speak.  He 
has  laid  it  hard  on  me.  My  good  eye  may  go 
asleep,  but  my  blind  eye  never  sleeps.  In  the 
place  where  it  is  waking,  an  honourable  man, 
king  or  beggar,  is  held  to  his  word. 

King:  Is  it  that  I  must  give  my  daughter  to 
a  lad  that  owns  neither  clod  nor  furrow? 


74  The  Dragon 

Whose  estate  is  but  a  shovel  for  the  ashes  and 
a  tongs  for  the  red  coals. 

Queen:  It  is  likely  he  is  urged  by  the  sting 
of  greed — it  is  but  riches  he  is  looking  for. 

King:  I  will  not  begrudge  him  his  own  ask- 
ing of  silver  and  of  gold! 

Manus:  Throw  it  out  to  the  beggars  on  the 
road!  I  would  not  take  a  copper  half -penny! 
I'll  take  nothing  but  what  has  .come  to  me  from 
your  own  word ! 

(King  bows  his  head.) 

Princess:  (Coming  forward.)  Then  this 
battle  is  not  between  you  and  an  old  king  that  is 
feeble,  but  between  yourself  and  myself. 

Manus:  I  am  sorry,  Princess,  if  it  must  be 
a  battle. 

Princess:  You  can  never  bring  me  away 
against  my  will. 

Manus:  I  said  no  word  of  doing  that. 

Princess:  You  think,  so,  I  will  go  with  you 
of  myself?  The  day  I  will  do  that  will  be  the 
day  you  empty  the  ocean ! 

Manus:  I  will  not  wait  longer  than  to-day. 


The  Dragon  75 

Princess:  Many  a  man  waited  seven  years 
for  a  king's  daughter ! 

Manus:  And  another  seven — and  seven  gen- 
erations of  hags.  But  that  is  not  my  nature. 
I  will  not  kneel  to  any  woman,  high  or  low,  or 
crave  kindness  that  she  cannot  give. 

Princess:  Then  I  can  go  free ! 

Manus:  For  this  day  I  take  you  in  my 
charge.  I  cross  and  claim  you  to  myself,  un- 
less a  better  man  will  come. 

Princess:  I  would  think  it  easier  to  find  a 
better  man  than  one  that  would  be  worse  to 
me! 

Manus:  If  one  should  come  that  you  think 
to  be  a  better  man,  I  will  give  you  your  own 
way. 

Princess:  It  is  you  being  in  the  world  at  all 
that  is  my  grief. 

Manus:  Time  makes  all  things  clear.  You 
did  not  go  far  out  in  the  world  yet,  my  poor 
little  Princess. 

Princess:  I  would  be  well  pleased  to  drive 
you  out  through  the  same  world! 

Manus:  With  or  without  your  goodwill,  I 


76  The  Dragon 

will  not  go  out  of  this  place  till  I  have  carried 
out  the  business  I  came  to  do. 

Dall  Glic:  Is  it  the  falling  of  hailstones  I 
hear  or  the  rumbling  of  thunder,  or  is  it  the 
trots  of  horses  upon  the  road? 

Queen:  (Looking  out.)  It  is  the  big  man 
that  is  coming — Prince  or  Lord  or  whoever  he 
may  be.  (  To  Dall  Glic. )  Go  now  to  the  door 
to  welcome  him.  This  is  some  man  worth 
while.  (To  M anus.)  Let  you  get  out  of  this. 

Manus:  No,  whoever  he  is  Pll  stop  and  face 
him.  Let  him  know  we  are  players  in  the  one 
game! 

King:  And  what  sort  of  a  fool  will  you 
make  of  me,  to  have  given  in  to  take  the  like  of 
you  for  a  son-in-law?  They  will  be  putting 
ridicule  on  me  in  the  songs. 

Queen:  If  he  must  stop  here  we  might  put 
some  face  on  him.  .  .  .  If  I  had  but  a  decent 
suit.  .  .  .  Give  me  your  cloak,  Dall  Glic.  (  He 
gives  it. )  Here  now  .  .  .  ( To  Manus. )  Put 
this  around  you.  .  .  .  (Manus  takes  it  awk- 
wardly. )  It  will  cover  up  your  kitchen  suit. 

Manus:  Is  it  this  way? 


The  Dragon  77 

Queen:  You  have  no  right  handling  of  it — 
stupid  clown !  This  way ! 

Manus:  (Flinging  it  off.)  No,  I'll  change 
no  more  suits !  It  is  time  for  me  to  stop  fooling 
and  give  you  what  you  did  not  ask  yet,  my 
name.  I  will  tell  out  all  the  truth. 

Gatekeeper:  (At  door.)  The  King  of  Sor- 
cha !  ( Taig  comes  in. ) 

King  and  Queen:  The  King  of  Sorcha! 
(They  rush  forward  to  greet  him.) 

Nurse:  (To  Manus.)  Did  ever  anyone  hear 
the  like! 

Manus:  It  seems  as  if  there  will  be  a  judg- 
ment between  the  man  and  the  clothes ! 

Queen:  (To  Taig.)  There  is  someone  here 
that  you  know,  King.  This  young  man  is  giv- 
ing out  that  he  was  your  cook. 

Taig:  He  was  not.  I  never  laid  an  eye  on 
him  till  this  minute. 

Queen:  I  was  sure  he  was  nothing  but  a 
liar  when  he  said  he  would  tell  the  truth! 
Now,  King,  will  you  turn  him  out  the  door  ? 

King:  And  what  about  the  great  dinner  he 
has  me  promised? 


78  The  Dragon 

Manus:  Be  easy  King.  Whether  or  no  you 
keep  your  word  to  me  I'll  hold  to  mine !  (Blows 
whistle.)  In  with  the  dishes!  Take  your 
places !  Let  the  music  play  out ! 

(Music  plays,  the  strange  men  wheel  in 
tables  and  dishes. ) 

CURTAIN 


ACT  III 


ACT  III 

Scene:  Same.  Table  cleared  of  all  but  vessels 
of  fruit,  cocoa-nuts,  etc.  Queen  and  Taig 
sitting  in  front,  Nurse  and  Dall  Glic 
standing  in  background. 

Queen:  Now,  King,  the  dinner  being  at  an 
end,  and  the  music,  we  have  time  and  quiet  to 
be  talking. 

Taig:  It  is  with  the  King's  daughter  I  am 
come  to  talk. 

Queen:  Go,  Dall  Glic,  call  the  Princess.  She 
will  be  here  on  the  minute,  but  it  is  best  for  you 
to  tell  me  out  if  it  is  to  ask  her  in  marriage  you 
are  come. 

Taig:  It  is  so,  where  I  was  after  being  told 
she  would  be  given  as  a  wife  to  the  first  man 
that  would  come  into  the  house. 

Queen:  And  who  in  the  world  wide  gave 
that  out? 

Taig:  It   was   the   Gateman   said   it   to   a 

81 


82  The  Dragon 

hawker  bringing  lobsters  from  the  strand,  and 
that  got  no  leave  to  cross  the  threshold  by  rea- 
son of  the  oath  given  out  by  the  King.  The 
half  of  the  kingdom  she  will  get,  they  were 
telling  me,  and  the  king  living,  and  the  whole 
of  it  after  he  will  be  dead. 

Nurse:  There  did  another  come  in  before 
you.  Let  me  tell  you  that  much ! 

Taig:  There  did  not.  The  lobster  man  that 
set  a  watch  upon  the  door. 

Queen:  A  great  honour  you  did  us  coming 
asking  for  her,  and  you  being  King  of  Sorcha ! 

Taig:  Look  at  my  ring  and  my  crown.  They 
will  bear  witness  that  I  am.  And  my  kind  coat 
of  cotton  and  my  golden  shirt !  And  under  that 
again  there's  a  stiff  pocket.  (Slaps  it.)  Is 
there  e'er  a  looking-glass  in  any  place?  (Gets 
up.) 

Dall  Glic:  There  is  the  shining  silver  basin 
of  the  swans  in  the  garden  without. 

Taig:  That  will  do.  I  would  wish  to  look 
tasty  when  I  come  looking  for  a  lady  of  a  wife. 
(He  and  Dall  Glic  go  outside  window  but  in 
sight.) 


The  Dragon  83 

(Princess  comes  in  very  proud  and  sad.) 

Queen:  You  should  be  proud  this  day,  Nu- 
ala,  and  so  grand  a  man  coming  asking  you  in 
marriage  as  the  King  of  Sorcha. 

Nurse:  Grand,  indeed!  As  grand  as  hands 
and  pins  can  make  him. 

Princess:  Are  you  not  satisfied  to  have 
urged  me  to  one  man  and  promised  me  to  an- 
other since  sunrise? 

Queen:  What  way  could  I  know  there  was 
this  match  on  the  way,  and  a  better  match  be- 
yond measure?  This  is  no  black  stranger  go- 
ing the  road,  but  a  man  having  a  copper  crown 
over  his  gateway  and  a  silver  crown  over  his 
palace  door !  I  tell  you  he  has  means  to  hang 
a  pearl  of  gold  upon  every  rib  of  your  hair! 
There  is  no  one  ahead  of  him  in  all  Ireland, 
with  his  chain  and  his  ring  and  his  suit  of  the 
dearest  silk! 

Princess:  If  it  was  a  suit  I  was  to  wed  with 
he  might  do  well  enough. 

Queen:  Equal  in  blood  to  ourselves! 
Brought  up  to  good  behaviour  and  courage  and 
mannerly  ways. 


84  The  Dragon 

Princess:  In  my  opinion  he  is  not. 

Queen:  You  are  talking  foolishness.  A 
King  of  Sorcha  must  be  mannerly,  seeing  it  is 
he  himself  sets  the  tune  for  manners. 

Princess:  He  gave  out  a  laugh  when  old 
Michelin  slipped  on  the  threshold.  He  kicked 
at  the  dog  under  the  table  that  came  looking 
for  bones. 

Queen:  I  tell  you  what  might  be  ugly  be- 
haviour in  a  common  man  is  suitable  and  right 
in  a  king.  But  you  are  so  hard  to  please  and 
so  pettish,  I  am  seven  times  tired  of  yourself 
and  your  ways. 

Princess:  If  no  one  could  force  me  to  give 
in  to  the  man  that  made  a  claim  to  me  to-day, 
according  to  my  father's  bond,  that  bond  is 
there  yet  to  protect  me  fr.om  any  other  one. 

Queen:  Leave  me  alone!  Myself  and  the 
Ball  Glic  will  take  means  to  rid  you  of  that  lad 
from  the  oven.  I'll  send  in  now  to  you  the 
King  of  Sorcha.  Let  you  show  civility  to  him, 
and  the  wedding-day  will  be  to-morrow. 

Princess:  I  will  not  see  him,  I  will  have 
nothing  to  do  with  him;  I  tell  you  if  he  had  the 


The  Dragon  85 

rents  of  the  whole  world  I  would  not  go  with 
him  by  day  or  by  night,  on  foot  or  on  horse- 
back, in  light  or  in  darkness,  in  company  or 
alone ! 

(Queen  has  gone  while  she  cries  this  out.) 

Nurse:  The  luck  of  the  seven  Saturdays  on 
himself  and  on  the  Queen ! 

Princess:  Oh,  Muime,  do  not  let  him  come 
near  me!  Have  you  no  way  to  help  me? 

Nurse:  It's  myself  that  could  help  you  if  I 
was  not  under  bonds  not  to  speak! 

Princess:  What  is  it  you  know?  Why 
won't  you  say  one  word? 

Nurse:  He  put  me  under  spells.  .  .  .  There 
now,  my  tongue  turned  with  the  word  to  be 
dumb. 

Taig:  (At  the  window.)  Not  a  fear  of  me, 
Queen.  It  won't  be  long  till  I  bring  the  Prin- 
cess around. 

Princess:  I  will  not  stay!  Keep  him  here 
till  I  will  hide  myself  out  of  sight!  (Goes.) 

Taig:  (Coming  in.)  They  told  me  the 
Princess  was  in  it. 


86  The  Dragon 

Nurse:  She  has  good  sense,  she  is  in  some 
other  place. 

Taig:  {Sitting  down-)    Go  call  her  to  me. 

Nurse:  Who  is  it  I  will  call  her  for  ? 

Taig:  For  myself.    You  know  who  I  am. 

Nurse:  My  grief  that  I  do  not ! 

Taig:  I  am  the  King  of  Sorcha. 

Nurse:  If  you  say  that  lie  again  there  will 
blisters  rise  up  on  your  face. 

Taig:  Take  care  what  you  are  saying,  you 
hag! 

Nurse:  I  know  well  what  I  am  saying.  I 
have  good  judgment  between  the  noble  and  the 
mean  blood  of  the  world. 

Taig:  The  Kings  of  Sorcha  have  high, 
noble  blood. 

Nurse:  If  they  have,  there  is  not  so  much 
of  it  in  you  as  would  redden  a  rib  of  scutch- 
grass. 

Taig:  You  are  crazed  with  folly  and  age. 

Nurse:  No,  but  I  have  my  wits  good  enough. 
You  ought  to  be  as  slippery  as  a  living  eel,  I'll 
get  satisfaction  on  you  ye* !  I'll  show  out  who 
you  are ! 


The  Dragon  87 

Taig:  Who  am  I  so? 

Nurse:  That  is  what  I  have  to  get  know- 
ledge of,  if  I  must  ask  it  at  the  mouth  of  cold 
hell! 

Taig:  Do  your  best!     I  dare  you! 

Nurse:  I  will  save  my  darling  from  you  as 
sure  as  there's  rocks  on  the  strand!  A  girl 
that  refused  sons  of  the  kings  of  the  world! 

Taig:  And  I  will  drag  your  darling  from 
you  as  sure  as  there's  foxes  in  Oughtmana ! 

Nurse:  Oughtmana  ...  Is  that  now  your 
living  place? 

Taig:  It  is  not.  ...  I  told  you  I  came  from 
the  far-off  kingdom  of  Sorcha.  Look  at  my 
cloak  that  has  on  it  the  sign  of  the  risen  sun! 

Nurse:  Cloaks  and  suits  and  fringes.  You 
have  a  great  deal  of  talk  of  them.  .  .  .  Have 
you  e'er  a  needle  around  you,  or  a  shears  ? 

Taig:  (His  hand  goes  to  breast  of  coat,  but 
he  withdraws  it  quickly. )  Here  ...  no  ... 
What  are  you  talking  about  ?  I  know  nothing 
at  all  of  such  things. 

Nurse:  In  my  opinion  you  do.     Hearken 


88  The  Dragon 

now.  I  know  where  is  the  real  King  of  Sor- 
cha! 

Taig:  Bring  him  before  me  now  till  I'll 
down  him ! 

Nurse:  Say  that  the  time  you  will  come  face 
to  face  with  him!  Well,  I'm  under  bonds  to 
tell  out  nothing  about  him,  but  I  have  liberty  to 
make  known  all  I  will  find  out  about  yourself. 

Taig:  Hurry  on  so.  Little  I  care  when  once 
I'm  wed  with  the  King's  daughter ! 

Nurse:  That  will  never  be ! 

Taig:  The  Queen  is  befriending  me  and  in 
dread  of  losing  me.  I  will  threaten  her  if  there 
is  any  delay  I'll  go  look  for  another  girl  of 
a  wife. 

Nurse:  I  will  make  no  delay.  I'll  have  my 
story  and  my  testimony  before  the  white  dawn 
of  the  morrow. 

Taig:  Do  so  and  welcome!  Before  the  yel- 
low light  of  this  evening  I'll  be  the  King's  son- 
in-law!  Bring  your  news,  then,  and  little 
thanks  you'll  get  for  it !  The  King  and  Queen 
must  keep  up  my  name  then  for  their  own 
credit's  sake.  (Makes  a  face  at  her  as  King 


The  Dragon  89 

comes  in  with  Dall  Glic,  and  servants  with 
cushions.  Nurse  goes  out,  shaking  her  fist.) 
(Rises- )  I  was  just  asking  to  see  you,  King,  to 
say  there  is  a  hurry  on  me.  .  .  . 

King:  (Sitting  down  on  window  seat  while 
Servant  arranges  cushions  about  him.)  Keep 
your  business  a  while.  It's  a  poor  thing  to  be 
going  through  business  the  very  minute  the 
dinner  is  ended. 

Taig:  I  wouldn't  but  that  it  is  pressing. 

King:  Go  now  to  the  Queen,  in  her  parlour, 
and  be  chatting  and  whistling  to  the  birds.  I 
give  you  my  word  since  I  rose  up  from  the  table 
I  am  going  here  and  there,  up  and  down,  crav- 
ing and  striving  to  find  a  place  where  I'll  get 
leave  to  lay  my  head  on  the  cushions  for  one 
little  minute. 

(Taig  goes  reluctantly.) 

Dall  Glic:  (Taking  cushions  from  serv- 
ants.) Let  you  go  now  and  leave  the  King  to 
his  rest. 

(They  go  out.) 

King:  I  don't  know  in  the  world  why  any- 
one would  consent  to  be  a  king,  and  never  to 


9O  The  Dragon 

be  left  to  himself,  but  to  be  worried  and  wear- 
ied and  interfered  with  from  dark  to  daybreak 
and  from  morning  to  the  fall  of  night. 

Doll  Glic:  I  will  be  going  out  now.  I  have 
but  one  word  only  to  say  .  .  . 

King:  Let  it  be  a  short  word!  I  would  be 
better  pleased  to  hear  the  sound  of  breezes  in 
the  sycamores,  and  the  humming  of  bees  in  the 
hive  and  the  crooning  and  sleepy  sounds  of  the 
sea! 

Dall  Glic:  There  is  one  thing  only  could 
cause  me  to  annoy  you. 

King:  It  should  be  a  queer  big  thing  that 
wouldn't  wait  till  I  have  my  rest  taken. 

Dall  Glic:  So  it  is  a  big  matter,  and  a 
weighty  one. 

King:  Not  to  be  left  in  quiet  and  all  I  am 
after  using !  Food  that  was  easy  to  eat !  Drink 
that  was  easy  to  drink!  That's  the  dinner  that 
was  a  dinner.  That  cook  now  is  a  wonder ! 

Dall  Glic:  That  is  now  the  very  one  I  am 
wishful  to  speak  about. 

King:  I  give  you  my  word,  I'd  sooner  have 


The  Dragon  91 

one  goose  dressed  by  him  than  seven  dressed 
by  any  other  one! 

Dall  Glic:  The  Queen  that  was  urging  me 
for  to  put  my  mind  to  make  out  some  way  to 
get  quit  of  him. 

King:  Isn't  it  a  hard  thing  the  very  minute 
I  find  a  lad  can  dress  a  dinner  to  my  liking,  I 
must  be  made  an  attack  on  to  get  quit  of  him? 

Dall  Glic:  It  is  on  the  head  of  the  Princess 
Nu. 

King:  Tell  me  this,  Dall  Glic.  Supposing, 
now,  he  was  ...  in  spite  of  me  ...  to  wed 
with  her  .  .  .  against  my  will  .  ,  .  and  it 
might  be  unknownst  to  me. 

Dall  Glic:  Such  a  thing  must  not  happen. 

King:  To  be  sure,  it  must  notxhappen.  Why 
would  it  happen  ?  But  supposing — I  only  said 
supposing  it  did.  Would  you  say  would  that 
lad  grow  too  high  in  himself  to  go  into  the 
kitchen  ...  it  might  be  only  an  odd  time  .  .  . 
to  oblige  me  ...  and  dress  a  dinner  the  same 
as  he  did  to-day? 

Dall  Glic:  I  am  sure  and  certain  that  he 
would  not.  It  is  the  way,  it  is,  with  the  com- 


92  The  Dragon 

mon  sort,  the  lower  orders.  He'd  be  wishful 
to  sit  on  a  chair  at  his  ease  and  to  leave  his 
hand  idle  till  he'd  grow  to  be  bulky  and  wishful 
for  sleep. 

King:  That  is  a  pity,  a  great  pity,  and  a 
great  loss  to  the  world.  A  big  misfortune  he  to 
have  got  it  in  his  head  to  take  a  liking  to  the 
girl.  I  tell  you  he  was  a  great  lad  behind  the 
saucepans ! 

Doll  Glic:  Since  he  did  get  it  in  his  head, 
it  is  what  we  have  to  do  now,  to  make  an  end 
of  him. 

King:  To  gaol  him  now,  and  settle  up  ovens 
and  spits  and  all  sorts  in  the  cell,  wouldn't  he, 
to  shorten  the  day,  he  apt  to  start  cooking? 

Dall  Glic:  In  my  belief  he  will  do  nothing 
at  all,  but  to  hold  you  to  the  promise  you  made, 
and  to  force  you  to  send  away  the  King  of 
Sorcha. 

King:  To  have  the  misfortune  of  a  cook  for 
a  son-in-law,  and  without  the  good  luck  of 
profiting  by  what  he  can  do  in  his  trade !  That 
is  a  hard  thing  for  a  father  to  put  up  with,  let 
alone  a  king ! 


The  Dragon  93 

Dall  Glic:  If  you  will  but  listen  to  the  ad- 
vice I  have  to  give  .  .  . 

King:  I  know  it  without  you  telling  me. 
You  are  asking  me  to  make  away  with  the  lad ! 
And  who  knows  but  the  girl  might  turn  on  me 
after,  women  are  so  queer,  and  say  I  had  a 
right  to  have  asked  leave  from  herself? 

Dall  Glic:  There  will  no  one  suspect  you  of 
doing  it,  and  you  to  take  my  plan.  Bid  them 
heat  the  big  oven  outside  on  the  lawn  that  is 
for  roasting  a  bullock  in  its  full  bulk. 

King:  Don't  be  talking  of  roasted  meat!  I 
think  I  can  eat  no  more  for  a  twelvemonth ! 

Dall  Glic:  There  will  be  nothing  roasted  that 
any  person  will  have  occasion  to  eat.  When 
the  oven  door  will  be  open,  give  orders  to  your 
bullies  and  your  foot-soldiers  to  give  a  tip  to 
him  that  will  push  him  in.  When  evening 
comes,  news  will  go  out  that  he  left  the  meat  to 
burn  and  made  off  on  his  rambles,  and  no  more 
about  him. 

King:  What  way  can  I  send  orders  when 
I'm  near  crazed  in  my  wits  with  the  want  of 


94  The  Dragon 

rest.    A  little  minute  of  sleep  might  soothe  and 
settle  my  brain. 

(Lies  down.) 

Dall  Glic:  The  least  little  word  to  give  leave 
...  or  a  sign  .  .  .  such  as  to  nod  the  head. 

King:  I  give  you  my  word,  my  head  is  tired 
nodding!  Be  off  now  and  close  the  door  after 
you  and  give  out  that  anyone  that  comes  to  this 
side  of  the  house  at  all  in  the  next  half-hour, 
his  neck  will  be  on  the  block  before  morning! 

Dall  Glic:  (Hurriedly-)  I'm  going!  I'm 
going. 

(Goes.) 

King:  (Locking  door  and  drawing  window 
curtains.)  That  you  may  never  come  back 
till  I  ask  you!  (Lies  down  and  settles  himself 
on  pillows. )  I'll  be  lying  here  in  my  lone  lis- 
tening to  the  pigeons  seeking  their  meal. 
"Coo-coo,"  they're  saying,  "Coo-coo." 
(Closes  eyes.) 

Nurse:  (At  door.)  Who  is  it  locked  the 
door?  (Shakes  it-)  Who  is  it  is  in  it?  What 
is  going  on  within?  Is  it  that  some  bad  work 
is  after  being  done  in  this  place?  Hi !  Hi !  Hi ! 


The  Dragon  95 

King:  (Sitting  up.)  Get  away  out  of  that, 
you  torment  of  a  nurse!  Be  off  before  I'll 
have  the  life  of  you! 

Nurse:  The  Lord  be  praised,  it  is  the  King's 
own  voice !  There's  time  yet ! 

King:  There's  time,  is  there?  There's  time 
for  everyone  to  give  out  their  chat  and  their 
gab,  and  to  do  their  business  and  take  their 
ease  and  have  a  comfortable  life,  only  the 
King!  The  beasts  of  the  field  have  leave  to 
lay  themselves  down  in  the  meadow  and  to 
stretch  their  limbs  on  the  green  grass  in  the 
heat  of  the  day,  without  being  pestered  and 
plagued  and  tormented  and  called  to  and  wak- 
ened and  worried,  till  a  man  is  no  less  than 
wore  out! 

Nurse:  Up  or  down,  I'll  say  what  I  have  to 
say,  if  it  costs  me  my  life.  It  is  that  I  have  to 
tell  you  of  a  plot  that  is  made  and  a  plan! 

King:  I  won't  listen!  I  heard  enough  of 
plots  and  plans  within  the  last  three  minutes! 

Nurse:  You  didn't  hear  this  one.  No  one 
knows  of  it  only  myself. 

King:  I  was  told  it  by  the  Dall  Glic. 


96  The  Dragon 

Nurse:  You  were  not!  I  am  only  after 
making  it  out  on  the  moment ! 

King:  A  plot  against  the  lad  of  the  sauce- 
pans? 

Nurse:  That's  it!  That's  it!  Open  now  the 
door! 

King:  (Putting  a  cushion  over  each  ear  and 
settling  himself  to  sleep.)  Tell  away  and  wel- 
come! 

(Shuts  eyes.) 

Nurse:  That's  right!  You're  listening. 
Give  heed  now.  That  schemer  came  a  while 
ago  letting  on  to  be  the  King  of  Sorcha  is  no 
such  thing!  What  do  you  say?  .  .  .  Maybe 
you  knew  it  before?  I  wonder  the  Dall  Glic 
not  to  have  seen  that  for  himself  with  his  one 
eye.  .  .  .  Maybe  you  don't  believe  it?  Well, 
I'll  tell  it  out  and  prove  it.  I  have  got  sure 
word  by  running  messenger  that  came  cross- 
cutting  over  the  ridge  of  the  hill.  .  .  .  That 
carrion  that  came  in  a  coach,  pressing  to  bring 
away  the  Princess  before  nightfall,  giving 
himself  out  to  be  some  great  one,  is  no  other 
than  Taig  the  Tailor,  that  should  be  called 


The  Dragon  97 

Taig  the  Twister,  down  from  his  mother's 
house  from  Oughtmana,  that  stole  grand 
clothes  which  were  left  in  the  mother's  charge, 
he  being  out  at  the  time  cutting  cloth  and  shap- 
ing lies,  and  has  himself  dressed  out  in  them 
the  way  you'd  take  him  to  be  King!  (King 
has  slumbered  peacefully  all  through.)  Now, 
what  do  you  say?  Now,  will  you  open  the 
door? 

Queen:  (Outside.)  What  call  have  you  to 
shouting  and  disturbing  the  King? 

Nurse:  I  have  good  right  and  good  reason 
to  disturb  him ! 

Queen:  Go  away  and  let  me  open  the  door. 

Nurse:  I  will  go  and  welcome  now;  I  have 
told  out  my  whole  story  to  the  King. 

Queen:  (Shaking  door.)  Open  the  door, 
my  dear!  It  is  I  myself  that  is  here!  (King 
looks  up,  listens,  shakes  his  head  and  sinks 
back.)  Are  you  there  at  all,  or  what  is  it  ails 
you? 

Nurse:  He  is  there,  and  is  after  conversing 
with  myself. 

Queen:  (Shaking  again.)     Let  me  in,  my 


98  The  Dragon 

dear  King!  Open!  Open!  Open!  unless  that 
the  falling  sickness  is  come  upon  you,  or  that 
you  are  maybe  lying  dead  upon  the  floor ! 

Nurse:  Not  a  dead  in  the  world. 

Queen:  Go,  Nurse,  I  tell  you,  bring  the 
smith  from  the  anvil  till  he  will  break  asunder 
the  lock  of  the  door ! 

(King,  annoyed,  waddles  to  door  and 
opens  it  suddenly.  Queen  stumbles 
in.) 

King:  What  at  all  has  taken  place  that  you 
come  bawling  and  calling  and  disturbing  my 
rest? 

Queen:  Oh!  Are  you  sound  and  well?  I 
was  in  dread  there  did  something  come  upon 
you,  when  you  gave  no  answer  at  all. 

King:  Am  I  bound  to  answer  every  call  and 
clamour  the  same  as  a  hall-porter  at  the  door  ? 

Queen:  It  is  business  that  cannot  wait. 
Here  now  is  a  request  I  have  written  to  the 
bully  of  the  King  of  Alban,  bidding  him  to 
strike  the  head  off  whatever  man  will  put  the 
letter  in  his  hand.  Write  your  name  and  sign 
to  it,  in  three  royal  words. 


The  Dragon  99 

King:  I  wouldn't  sign  a  letter  out  of  my 
right  hour  if  it  was  to  make  the  rivers  run 
gold.  There  is  nothing  comes  of  signing  let- 
ters but  more  trouble  in  the  end. 

Queen:  Give  me,  so,  to  bind  it  a  drop  of  your 
own  blood  as  a  token  and  a  seal.  You  will  not 
refuse,  and  I  telling  you  the  messenger  will  go 
with  it,  and  that  will  lose  his  head  through  it, 
is  no  less  than  that  troublesome  cook ! 

King:  (With  a  roar.)  Anyone  to  say  that 
word  again  I  will  not  leave  a  head  on  any  neck 
in  the  kingdom !  I  declare  on  my  oath  it  would 
be  best  for  me  to  take  the  world  for  my  pillow 
and  put  that  lad  upon  the  throne ! 

(Queen  goes  back  frightened  to  door.) 
Gateman:  (Coming  in.)     There  is  a  man 
coming  in  that  will  take  no  denial.    It  is  Fin- 
tan  the  Astrologer. 

(Fintan  enters  with  Dall  Glic,  Nurse, 
Princess,  Taicj,  Manus  and  Prince 
of  the  Marshes  crowding  after 
him. ) 

King:  Another  disturbance!  The  whole 
world  would  seem  to  be  on  the  move ! 


ioo  The  Dragon 

Queen:  Fintan!  What  brings  him  here 
again  ? 

Fintan:  A  great  deceit?  A  terrible  decep- 
tion! 

King:  What  at  all  is  it? 

Fintan:  Long  and  all  as  I'm  in  the  world, 
such  a  thing  never  happened  in  my  lifetime! 

Queen:  What  is  it  has  happened? 

Fintan:  It  is  not  any  fault  of  myself  or  any 
miscounting  of  my  own !  I  am  certain  sure  of 
that  much.  Is  it  that  the  stars  of  heaven  are 
gone  astray,  they  that  are  all  one  with  a  clock — 
unless  it  might  be  on  a  stormy  night  when  they 
are  wild-looking  around  the  moon. 

King:  Go  on  with  your  story  and  stop  your 
raving. 

Fintan:  The  first  time  ever  I  came  to  this 
place  I  made  a  prophecy. 

Dall  Glic:  You  did,  about  the  child  was  in 
the  cradle. 

Fintan:  And  that  was  but  new  in  the  world. 
It  is  what  I  said,  that  she  was  born  under  a  cer- 
tain star,  and  that  in  a  score  of  years  all  but 
two,  whatever  acting  was  going  on  in  that  star 


The  Dragon  101 

at  the  time  she  was  born,  she  would  get  her 
crosses  in  the  same  way. 

Dall  Glic:  The  cross  you  foretold  to  her  was 
to  be  ate  by  a  Dragon.  You  laid  down  it  would 
come  upon  a  twelvemonth  from  this  very  day. 

Fintan:  That's  it.  That  was  according  to 
my  reckoning.  There  was  no  mistake  in  that. 
And  I  thought  better  of  the  Seven  Stars  than 
they  to  make  a  fool  of  me,  after  all  the  respect 
I  had  showed  them,  giving  my  life  to  watching 
themselves  and  the  plans  they  have  laid  down 
for  men  and  for  mortals. 

King:  It  seems  as  if  I  myself  was  the  best 
prophet  and  that  there  is  no  Dragon  at  all. 

Fintan:  What  a  bad  opinion  you  have  of  me 
that  I  would  be  so  far  out  as  that !  It  would  be 
a  deception  and  a  disappointment  out  of  meas- 
ure, there  to  come  no  Dragon,  and  I  after  fore- 
telling and  prophesying  him. 

King:  Troth,  it  would  be  no  disappointment 
at  all  to  ourselves. 

Fintan:  It  would  be  better,  I  tell  you,  a  score 
of  king's  daughters  to  be  ate  and  devoured, 
than  the  high  stars  in  thejr  courses  to  be. 


IO2  The  Dragon 

proved  wrong.  But  it  must  be  right,  it  surely 
must  be  right.  I  gave  the  prophecy  according 
to  her  birth  hour,  that  was  one  hour  before  the 
falling  back  of  the  sun. 

Dall  Glic:  It  was  not,  but  an  hour  before 
the  rising  of  the  sun. 

Pint  an:  Not  at  all!  It  was  the  Nurse  her- 
self told  me  it  was  at  evening  she  was  born. 

Queen:  There  is  the  Nurse  now.     Let  you 

ask  her  account. 
% 

Pint  an:  (To  Nurse.)  It  was  yourself  laid 
down  it  was  evening ! 

Nurse:  Sure  I  wasn't  in  the  place  at  all  till 
Samhuin  time,  when  she  was  near  three  months 
in  the  world. 

Fintan:  Then  it  was  some  other  hag  the 
very  spit  of  you!  I  wish  she  didn't  tell  a  lie. 

Nurse:  Sure  that  one  was  banished  out  of 
this  on  the  head  of  telling  lies.  An  hour  ere 
sunrise,  and  before  the  crowing  of  the  cocks. 
The  Dall  Glic  will  tell  you  that  much. 

Dall  Glic:  That  is  so.  I  have  it  marked 
upon  the  genealogies  in  the  chest. 

:  That  is  great  news !    It  was  a  heavy 


The  Dragon  103 

wrong  was  done  me !  It  had  me  greatly  upset. 
Twelve  hours  out  in  laying  down  the  birth- 
time!  That  clears  the  character  of  myself  and 
of  the  carwheel  of  the  stars.  I  knew  I  could 
make  no  mistake  in  my  office  and  in  my  billet ! 

King:  Will  you  stop  praising  yourself  and 
give  out  some  sense? 

Fintan:  Knowledge  is  surely  the  greatest 
thing  in  the  world !  And  truth !  Twelve  hours 
with  the  planets  is  equal  to  twelve  months  on 
earth.  I  am  well  satisfied  now. 

Queen:  So  the  Dragon  is  not  coming,  and 
the  girl  is  in  no  danger  at  all? 

Fintan:  Not  coming!  Heaven  help  your 
poor  head!  Didn't  I  get  word  within  the  last 
half -hour  he  is  after  leaving  his  den  in  the 
Kingdoms  of  the  Cold,  and  is  at  this  minute, 
ploughing  his  way  to  Ireland,  the  same  as  I 
foretold  him,  but  that  I  made  a  miscount  of  a 
year? 

Nurse:  (Putting  her  arm  round  Princess.) 
Och !  do  not  listen  or  give  heed  to  him  at  all ! 

Queen:  When  is  he  coming  so? 

Fintan:  Amn't  I  tired  telling  you  this  day 


IO4  The  Dragon 

in  the  place  of  this  day  twelvemonth.  But  as 
to  the  minute,  there's  too  much  lies  in  this  place 
for  me  to  be  rightly  sure. 

King:  The  curse  of  the  seven  elements  upon 
him! 

Fintan:  Little  he'll  care  for  your  cursing. 
The  whole  world  wouldn't  stop  him  coming  to 
your  own  grand  gate. 

Princess:  (Coming  forward.)  Then  I  am 
to  die  to-night? 

Fintan:  You  are,  without  he  will  be  turned 
back  by  someone  having  a  stronger  star  than 
your  own,  and  I  know  of  no  star  is  better,  un- 
less it  might  be  the  sun. 

Queen:  If  you  had  minded  me,  and  given 
in  to  ring  the  wedding  bells,  you  would  be  safe 
out  of  this  before  now. 

Fintan:  That  Dragon  not  to  find  her  before 
him,  he  will  ravage  and  destroy  the  whole  dis- 
trict with  the  poisonous  spittle  of  his  jaw,  till 
the  want  will  be  so  great  the  father  will  disown 
,his  son  and  will  not  let  him  in  the  door.  Well, 
good-bye  to  ye!  Ye'll  maybe  believe  me  to 
have  foreknowledge  another  time,  and  I 


The  Dragon  105 

proved  to  be  right.    I  have  knocked  great  com- 
fort out  of  that! 
(Goes.) 

King:  Oh,  my  poor  child!  My  poor  little 
Nu !  I  thought  it  never  would  come  to  pass,  I 
to  be  sending  you  to  the  slaughter.  And  I  too 
bulky  to  go  out  and  face  him,  having  led  an 
easy  life! 

Princess:  Do  not  be  fretting. 

King:  The  world  is  gone  to  and  fro!  I'll 
never  ask  satisfaction  again  either  in  bed  or 
board,  but  to  be  wasting  away  with  water- 
cresses  and  rising  up  of  a  morning  before  the 
sun  rises  in  Babylon!  (Weeps.)  Oh,  we 
might  make  out  a  way  to  baffle  him  yet!  Is 
there  no  meal  will  serve  him  only  flesh  and 
blood?  Try  him  with  Grecian  wine,  and  with 
what  was  left  of  the  big  dinner  a  while  ago! 

Gateman:  (Coming  in.)  There  is  some 
strange  thing  in  the  ocean  from  Aran  out.  At 
first  it  was  but  like  a  bird's  shadow  on  the  sea, 
and  now  you  would  nearly  say  it  to  be  the  big 
island  would  have  left  its  moorings,  and  it 
steering  its  course  towards  Aughanish! 


io6  The  Dragon 

Dall  Glic:  I'm  in  dread  it  should  be  the 
Dragon  that  has  cleared  the  ocean  at  a  leap ! 

King:  (Holding  Princess.)  I  will  not  give 
you  up!  Let  him  devour  myself  along  with 
you! 

Dall  Glic:  (To  Princess.)  It  is  best  for  me 
to  put  you  in  a  hiding-hole  under  the  ground, 
that  has  seven  locked  doors  and  seven  locks  on 
the  farthest  door.  It  might  fail  him  to  make 
you  out. 

Nurse:  Oh,  it  would  be  hard  for  her  to  go 
where  she  cannot  hear  the  voice  of  a  friend  or 
see  the  light  of  day! 

Princess:  Would  you  wish  me  to  save  my- 
self and  let  all  the  district  perish?  You  heard 
what  Fintan  said.  It  is  not  right  for  destruc- 
tion to  be  put  'on  a  whole  province,  and  the 
women  and  the  children  that  I  know. 

Queen:  There  is  maybe  time  yet  for  you  to 
wed. 

Princess:  So  long  as  I  am  living  I  have  a 
choice.  I  will  not  be  saved  in  that  way.  It  is 
alone  I  will  be  in  my  death. 

Manus:  (Coming  to  King.)    I  am  going  out 


The  Dragon  107 

from  you,  King.  I  might  not  be  coming  in  to 
you  again.  I  would  wish  to  set  you  free  from 
the  promise  you  made  me  a  while  ago,  and  the 
bond. 

King:  What  does  it  signify  now?  What 
does  anything  signify,  and  the  world  turning 
here  and  there ! 

Manus:  And  another  thing.  I  would  wish 
to  ask  pardon  of  the  King's  daughter.  I  ought 
not  to  have  laid  any  claim  to  her,  being  a 
stranger  in  this  place  and  without  treasure  or 
attendance.  And  yet  .  .  .  and  yet  .  .  . 
(stoops  and  kisses  hem  of  her  dress),  she  was 
dear  to  me.  It  is  a  man  who  never  may  look  on 
her  again  is  saying  that. 
(Turns  to  door-) 

Taig:  He  is  going  to  run  from  the  Dragon ! 
It  is  kind  father  for  a  scullion  to  be  timid! 

Queen:  It  is  in  his  blood.  He  is  maybe  not 
to  blame  for  what  is  according  to  his  nature. 

Manus:  That  is  so.  I  am  doing  what  is  ac- 
cording to  my  nature. 

(Goes,  Nurse  goes  after  him.) 

Queen:  (To  Dall  Glic.)    Go  throw  a  dish- 


The  Dragon 

cloth  after  him  that  the  little  lads  may  be  mock* 
ing  him  along  the  road! 

Doll  Glic:  I  will  not.  I  have  meddled 
enough  at  your  bidding.  I  am  done  with  living 
under  dread.  Let  you  blind  me  entirely !  I  am 
free  of  you.  It  might  be  best  for  me  the  two 
eyes  to  be  withered,  and  I  seeing  nothing  but 
the  ever-living  laws! 

Prince  of  Marshes:  (Costing  to  Princess.) 
It  is  my  grief  that  with  all  the  teachers  I  had 
there  was  not  one  to  learn  me  the  handling  of 
weapons  or  of  arms.  But  for  all  that  I  will  not 
run  away,  but  will  strive  to  strike  one  blow  in 
your  defence  against  that  wicked  beast. 

Princess:  It  is  a  good  friend  that  would  rid 
us  of  him.  But  it  grieves  me  that  you  should 
go  into  such  danger. 

Prince  of  Marshes:  (To  Doll  Glic.)  Give 
me  some  sword  or  casting  spears. 

(Doll  Glic  gives  him  spears.) 

Princess:  I  am  sorry  I  made  fun  of  you  a 
while  ago.  I  think  you  are  a  good  kind  man. 

Prince  of  Marshes:   {Kissing  her  hand.) 


The  Dragoo  109 

Having  that  word  of  praise  I  will  bring  a  good 
heart  into  the  fight. 
(Goes.) 
(  Taig  is  slipping  out  after  him. ) 

Queen:  See  now  the  King  of  Sorcha  slipping 
away  into  the  fight.  Stop  here  now!  (Pulls 
him  back.)  You  have  a  life  that  is  precious  to 
many  besides  yourself.  Do  not  go  without 
being  well  armed — and  with  a  troop  of  good 
fighting  men  at  your  back. 

Taig:  I  am  greatly  obliged  to  you.  I  think 
I'll  be  best  with  myself. 

Queen:  You  have  no  suit  or  armour  upon 
you. 

Taig:  That  is  what  I  was  thinking. 

Queen:  Here  anyway  is  a  sword. 

Taig:  (Taking  it.)  That's  a  nice  belt  now. 
Well  worked,  silver  thread  and  gold. 

Queen:  The  King's  own  guard  will  go  out 
with  you. 

Taig:  I  wouldn't  ask  one  of  them!  What 
would  you  think  of  me  wanting  help !  A  Dra- 
gon! Little  I'd  think  of  him.  I'll  knock  the 
life  out  of  him.  I'll  give  him  cruelty ! 


no  The  Dragon 

Queen:  You  have  great  courage  indeed! 

Taig:  I'll  cut  him  cross  ways  and  length- 
ways the  same  as  a  yard  of  frieze!  I'll  make 
garters  of  his  body!  I'll  smooth  him  with  a 
smoothing  iron!  Not  a  fear  of  me!  I  never 
lost  a  bet  yet  that  I  wasn't  able  to  pay  it ! 

Gateman:  (As  he  rushes  in,  Taig  slips 
away.)  The  Dragon!  The  Dragon!  I  seen  it 
coming  and  its  mouth  open1  and  a  fiery  flame 
from  it !  And  nine  miles  of  the  sea  is  dry  with 
all  it  drank  of  it !  The  whole  country  is  gath- 
ering the  same  as  of  a  fair  day  for  to  see  him 
devour  the  Princess. 

(Princess  trembles  and  sinks  into  a 
chair.  King,  Queen  and  Dall  Glic 
look  from  zvindow.  They  turn  to 
her  as  they  speak.) 

Queen:  There  is  a  terrible  splashing  in  the 
sea!  It  is  like  as  if  the  Dragon's  tail  had 
beaten  it  into  suds  of  soap ! 

Dall  Glic:  He  is  near  as  big  as  a  whale! 

King:  He  is,  and  bigger! 

Queen:  I  see  him!  I  see  him!  He  would 
seem  to  have  seven  heads ! 


The  Dragon  in 

Dall  Glic:  I  see  but  one. 

Queen:  You  would  see  more  if  you  had  your 
two  eyes !  He  has  six  heads  at  the  least ! 

King:  He  has  but  one.  He  is  twisting  and 
turning  it  around. 

Dall  Glic:  He  is  coming  up  towards  the 
flaggy  shore! 

King:  I  hear  him !  He  is  snoring  like  a  flock 
of  pigs ! 

Queen:  He  is  rearing  his  head  in  the  air! 
He  has  teeth  as  long  as  a  tongs ! 

Dall  Glic:  No,  but  his  tail  he  is  rearing  up! 
It  would  take  a  ladder  forty  feet  long  to  get 
to  the  tip  of  it! 

Queen:  There  is  the  King  of  Sorcha  going 
out  the  gate  for  to  make  an  end  of  him. 

Dall  Glic:  So  he  is,  too.  That  is  great 
bravery. 

King:  He  is  going  to  one  side.  He  is  come 
to  a  stop. 

Dall  Glic:  It  seems  to  me  he  is  ready  to  fall  in 
his  standing.  He  is  gone  into  a  little  thicket 
of  furze.  He  is  not  coming  out,  but  is  lying 


H2  The  Dragon 

crouched  up  in  it  the  same  as  a  hare  in  a  tuft. 
I  can  see  his  shoulders  narrowed  up. 

Queen:  He  maybe  got  a  weakness. 

King:  He  did,  maybe,  of  courage.  Shaking 
and  shivering,  he  is  like  a  hen  in  thunder.  In 
my  opinion,  he  is  hiding  from  the  fight. 

Queen:  There  is  the  Prince  of  the  Marshes 
going  out  now,  and  his  coach  after  him!  And 
his  two  aunts  sitting  in  it  and  screeching  to 
him  not  to  run  into  danger ! 

King:  He  will  not  do  much.  He  has  not 
pith  or  power  to  handle  arms.  That  sort  brings 
a  bad  name  on  kings. 

Dall  Glic:  He  is  gone  away  from  the  coach. 
He  is  facing  to  the  flaggy  shore ! 

Queen:  Oh,  the  Dragon  has  put  up  his  head 
and  is  spitting  at  him ! 

King:  He  has  cast  a  spear  into  its  jaw! 
Good  man ! 

{Princess  goes  over  to  window.) 

DallGlic:  He  is  casting  another !  His  hand 
shook  ...  it  did  not  go  straight.  He  is  gone 
on  again!  He  has  cast  another  spear!  It 
should  hit  the  beast  .  .  it  let  a  roar ! 


The  Dragon  113 

Princess:  Good  little  Prince !  What  way  is 
the  battle  now  ? 

Dall  Glic:  It  will  kill  him  with  its  fiery 
breath!  He  is  running  now  ...  he  is  stum- 
bling .  .  .  the  Dragon  is  after  him!  He  is  up 
again!  The  two  Aunts  have  pushed  him  into 
the  coach  and  have  closed  the  iron  door. 

King:  It  will  fail  the  beast  to  swallow  him 
coach  and  all.  It  is  gone  back  to  refresh  itself 
in  the  sea.  You  can  hear  it  puffing  and  plung- 
ing! 

Queen:  There  is  nothing  to  stop  it  now. 
( To  Princess. )  If  you  have  e'er  a  prayer,  now 
is  the  time  to  say  it. 

Dall  Glic:  Stop  a  minute  .  .  .  there  is  an- 
other champion  going  out. 

King:  A  man  wearing  a  saffron  suit  .  .  . 
who  is  he  at  all?  He  has  the  look  of  one  used 
to  giving  orders. 

Princess:  (Looking  out.)  Oh !  he  is  but  go- 
ing to  his  death.  It  would  be  better  for  me  to 
throw  myself  into  the  tide  and  make  an  end 
of  it. 

(Is  rushing  to  door. ) 


U4  The  Dragon 

King:  (Holding  her-)  He  is  drawing  his 
sword.  Himself  and  the  Dragon  are  thrusting 
at  one  another  on  the  flags ! 

Princess:  Oh,  close  the  curtains !  Shut  out 
the  sound  of  the  battle. 

(Dall  Glic  closes  curtains.) 
King:  Strike  up  now  a  tune  of  music  that 
will  deafen  the  sound ! 

(Orchestra  plays.  Princess  is  kneeling 
by  King.  Music  changes  from  dis- 
cord to  victory.  Two  Aunts  and 
Gateman  rush  in.  Noise  of  cheer- 
ing  heard  without  as  the  Gateman 
silences  music. ) 

Gateman:  Great  news  and  wonderful  news 
and  a  great  story! 

First  Aunt:  The  fight  is  ended! 
Second  Aunt:  The  Dragon  is  brought  to  his 
last  goal ! 

Gateman:  That  young  fighting  man  that  has 
him  flogged !  Made  at  him  like  a  wave  break- 
ing on  the  strand!  They  crashed  at  one  an- 
other like  two  days  of  judgment!  Like  the 
battle  of  the  cold  with  the  heat ! 


The  Dragon  115 

First  Aunt:  You'd  say  he  was  going 
through  dragons  all  his  life ! 

Second  Aunt:  It  can  hardly  put  a  stir  out 
of  itself! 

Gateman:  That  champion  has  it  baffled  and 
mastered!  It  is  after  being  chased  over  seven 
acres  of  ground ! 

First  Aunt:  Drove  it  to  its  knees  on  the 
flaggy  shore  and  made  an  end  of  it ! 

King:  God  bless  that  man  to-day  and  to- 
morrow ! 

Second  Aunt:  He  has  put  it  in  a  way  it  will 
eat  no  more  kings'  daughters! 

Princess:  And  the  stranger  that  mastered 
it — is  he  safe? 

First  Aunt:  What  signifies  if  he  is  or  is  not, 
so  long  as  we  have  our  own  young  prince  to 
bring  home ! 

Gatekeeper:  He  is  not  safe.  No  sooner  had 
he  the  beast  killed  and  conquered  than  he  fell 
dead,  and  the  life  went  out  of  him. 

Princess:  Oh,  that  is  not  right!  He  to  be 
dead  and  I  living  after  him ! 

King:  He    was    surely    noble    and    high- 


u6  The  Dragon 

blooded.  There  are  some  that  will  be  sorry 
for  his  death. 

Princess:  And  who  should  be  more  sorry 
than  I  myself  am  sorry?  Who  should  keen 
him  unless  myself?  There  is  a  man  that  gave 
his  life  for  me,  and  he  young  and  all  his  days 
before  him,  and  shut  his  eyes  on  the  white 
world  for  my  sake! 

Queen:  Indeed  he  was  a  man  you  might  have 
been  content  to  wed  with,  hard  and  all  as  you 
are  to  please. 

Princess:  I  never  will  wed  with  any  man 
so  long  as  my  life  will  last,  that  was  bought  for 
me  with  a  life  was  more  worthy  by  far  than 
my  own !  He  is  gone  out  of  my  reach ;  let  him 
wait  for  me  to  give  him  my  thanks  on  the  other 
side.  Bring  me  now  his  sword  and  his  shield 
till  I  will  put  them  before  me  and  cry  my  eyes 
down  with  grief ! 

Gateman:  Here  is  his  cap  for  you,  anyway, 
and  his  cleaver  and  his  bunch  of  skivers.  For 
the  champion  you  are  crying  was  no  other  than 
that  lad  of  a  cook! 

Queen:  That  is  not  true!    It  is  not  possible! 


The  Dragon  117 

Gateman:  Sure  I  seen  him  myself  going  out 
the  gate  a  while  ago.  He  put  off  his  cook's 
apparel  and  threw  it  along  with  these  behind 
the  turf  stack.  I  gathered  them  up  presently 
and  I  coming  in  the  door. 

King:  The  world  is  gone  beyond  me  entire- 
ly !  But  what  I  was  saying  all  through,  there 
was  something  beyond  the  common  in  that 
boy!  , 

Queen:  (To  Princess,  who  is  clinging  to 
chair.)  Let  you  be  comforted  now,  knowing 
he  cannot  come  back  to  lay  claim  to  you  in  mar- 
riage, as  it  is  likely  he  would,  and  he  living. 

Princess:  It  is  he  saved  me  after  my  un- 
kindness!  ....  Oh,  I  am  ashamed  .  .  .  . 
ashamed ! 

Queen:  It  is  a  queer  thing  a  king's  daughter 
to  be  crying  after  a  man  used  to  twisting  the 
spit  in  place  of  weapons,  and  over  skivers  in 
the  place  of  a  sword ! 

Princess!  (Gropes  and  totters.)  What  has 
happened?  There  is  something  gone  astray! 
I  have  no  respect  for  myself.  ...  I  cannot 
live!  I  am  ashamed?  Where  is  Nurse? 


u8  The  Dragon 

Muime !  Come  to  me  Muime !  .  .  .  My  grief ! 
The  man  that  died  for  me,  whether  he  is  of  the 
noble  or  the  simple  of  the  world,  it  is  to  him  I 
have  given  the  love  of  my  soul ! 

(Dall  Glic  supports  her  and  lays  her  on 
window  seat.) 

Nurse:  (Rushing  in.)  What  is  it,  honey? 
What  at  all  are  they  after  doing  to  you? 

Queen:  Throw  over  her  a'  skillet  of  water. 
She  is  gone  into  a  faint. 

Dall  Glic:  (Who  is  bending  over  her.)  She 
is  in  no  faint.  She  is  gone  out. 

Nurse:  Oh,  my  child  and  my  darling! 
What  call  had  I  to  leave  you  among  them  at 
all? 

King:  Raise  her  up.  It  is  impossible  she 
can  be  gone. 

Dall  Glic:  Gone  out  and  spent,  as  sudden  as 
a  candle  in  a  blast  of  wind. 

King:  Who  would  think  grief  would  do 
away  with  her  so  sudden,  there  to  be  seven  of 
the  like  of  him  dead? 

Nurse:  (Rises.)     What  did  you  do  to  her 


The  Dragon  119 

at  all,  at  all?  Or  was  it  through  the  fright 
and  terror  of  the  beast? 

Queen:  She  died  of  the  heartbreak,  being 
told  that  the  strange  champion  that  had  put 
down  the  Dragon  was  killed  dead. 

Nurse:  Killed,  is  it?  Who  now  put  that  lie 
out  of  his  mouth ?  (Shouts  in  her  ear. )  What 
would  ail  him  to  be  dead?  It  is  myself  can  tell 
you  the  true  story.  No  man  in  Ireland  ever 
was  half  as  good  as  him !  It  was  himself  mas- 
tered the  beast  and  dragged  the  heart  out  of 
him  and  forced  down  a  squirrel's  heart  in  its 
place,  and  slapped  a  bridle  on  him.  And  he 
himself  did  but  stagger  and  go  to  his  knees  in 
the  heat  and  drunkenness  of  the  battle,  and 
rose  up  after  as  good  as  ever  he  was !  It  is  out 
putting  ointments  on  him  that  I  was  up  to  this, 
and  healing  up  his  cuts  and  wounds !  Oh,  what 
ails  you,  honey,  that  you  will  not  waken? 

Queen:  She  thought  it  to  be  a  champion  and 
a  high  up  man  that  had  died  for  her  sake.  It 
is  what  broke  her  down  in  the  latter  end,  hear- 
ing him  to  be  no  big  man  at  all,  but  a  clown ! 

Nurse:  Oh,  my  darling!    And  I  not  here  to 


I2O  The  Dragon 

tell  you !  You  are  a  motherless  child,  and  the 
curse  of  your  mother  will  be  on  me!  It  was 
no  clown  fought  for  you,  but  a  king,  having 
generations  of  kings  behind  him,  the  young 
King  of  Sorcha,  Manus,  son  of  Solas  son  of 
Lugh. 

King:  I  would  believe  that  now  sooner  than 
many  a  thing  I  would  hear. 

Nurse:  (Keening.)  Oh,  my  child,  and  my 
share!  I  thought  it  was  you  would  be  closing 
my  eyes,  and  now  I  am  closing  your  own !  You 
to  be  brought  away  in  your  young  youth! 
Your  hand  that  was  whiter  than  the  snow  of 
one  night,  and  the  colour  of  the  foxglove  on 
your  cheek. 

(A  great  shouting  outside  and  burst  of 
music.  A  march  played.  Manus 
comes  in,  follozved  by  Fintan  and 
Prince  of  the  Marshes.  Shouts 
and  music  continue.  He  leads  the 
Dragon  by  a  bridle.  The  others 
are  in  front  of  Princess,  huddled 
from  Dragon.  Queen  gets  up  on 
a  chair.) 


The  Dragon  121 

Manus:  Where  is  the  Princess  Nu?  I  have 
brought  this  beast  to  bow  itself  at  her  feet. 

{All  are  silent.  Manus  flings  bridle  to 
Fintan's  hand.  Dragon  backs  out. 
All  go  aside  from  Princess. ) 

Nurse:  She  is  here  dead  before  you. 

Manus:  That  cannot  be !  She  was  well  and 
living  half  an  hour  ago. 

Nurse:  (Rises.)  Oh,  if  she  could  but  waken 
and  hear  your  voice!  She  died  with  the  fret 
of  losing  you,  that  is  heaven's  truth !  It  is  tor- 
mented she  was  with  these  giving  out  you  were 
done  away  with,  and  mocking  at  your  weapons 
that  they  laid  down  to  be  the  cleaver  and  the 
spit,  till  the  heart  broke  in  her  like  a  nut. 

Manus:  (Kneeling  beside  her.)  Then  it  is 
myself  have  brought  the  death  darkness  upon 
you  at  the  very  time  I  thought  to  have  saved 
you! 

Nurse:  There  is  no  blame  upon  you,  but 
some  that  had  too  much  talk! 
(Goes  on  keening.) 

Manus:  What  call  had  I  to  come  humbug- 
ging and  letting  on  as  I  did,  teasing  and  tor- 


122  The  Dragon 

menting  her,  and  not  coming  as  a  King  should 
that  is  come  to  ask  for  a  Queen!  Oh,  come 
back  for  one  minute  only  till  I  will  ask  your 
pardon ! 

Dall  Glic:  She  cannot  come  to  you  or  an- 
swer you  at  all  for  ever. 

Manus:  Then  I  myself  will  go  follow  you 
and  will  ask  for  your  forgiveness  wherever  you 
are  gone,  on  the  Plain  of  Wonder  or  in  the 
Many-Coloured  Land!  That  is  all  I  can  do 
....  to  go  after  you  and  tell  you  it  was  no 
want  of  respect  that  brought  me  in  that  dress, 
but  hurry  and  folly  and  taking  my  own  way. 
For  it  is  what  I  have  to  say  to  you,  that  I  gave 
you  my  heart's  love,  what  I  never  gave  to  any 
other,  since  first  I  saw  you  before  me  in  my 
sleep !  Here,  now,  is  a  short  road  to  reach  you ! 
(Takes  sword.) 

Prince  of  Marshes:  (Catching  his  hand.) 
Go  easy  now,  go  easy. 

Manus:  Take  off  your  hand!  I  say  I  will 
die  with  her! 

Prince  of  Marshes:  That  will  not  raise  her 
up  again.  But  I,  now,  if  I  have  no  skill  in  kill- 


The  Dragon  123 

ing  beasts  or  men,  have  maybe  the  means  of 
bringing  her  back  to  life. 

Nurse:  Oh,  my  blessing  on  you!  What  is  it 
you  have  at  all? 

Prince  of  Marshes:  (Taking  bag  from  his 
Aunt.)  These  three  leaves  from  the  Tree  of 
Power  that  grows  by  the  Well  of  Healing. 
Here  they  are  now  for  you,  tied  with  a  thread 
of  the  wool  of  the  sheep  of  the  Land  of  Prom- 
ise. There  is  power  in  them  to  bring  one  per- 
son only  back  to  life. 

First  Aunt:  Give  them  back  to  me!  You 
have  your  own  life  to  think  of  as  well  as  any 
other  one! 

Second  Aunt:  Do  not  spend  and  squander 
that  cure  on  any  person  but  yourself ! 

Prince  of  Marshes:  (Giving  the  leaves.) 
And  if  I  have  given  her  my  love  that  it  is  likely 
I  will  give  to  no  other  woman  for  ever,  indeed 
and  indeed,  I  would  not  ask  her  or  wish  her  to 
wed  with  a  very  frightened  man,  and  that  is 
what  I  was  a  while  ago.  But  you  yourself 
have  earned  her,  being  brave. 


124  The  Dragon 

Manus:  (Taking  leaves.)  I  never  will  for- 
get it  to  you.  You  will  be  a  brave  man  yet. 

Prince  of  Marshes:  Give  me  in  place  of  it 
your  sword;  for  I  am  going  my  lone  through 
the  world  for  a  twelvemonth  and  a  day,  till  I 
will  learn  to  fight  with  my  own  hand. 

(Manus  gives  him  sword.  He  throws 
off  cloak  and  outer  coat  and  fas- 
tens it  on. ) 

Nurse:  Stand  back,  now.  Let  the  whole  of 
ye  stand  back.  (She  lays  a  leaf  on  the  Prin- 
cess's mouth  and  one  on  each  of  her  hands. )  I 
call  on  you  by  the  power  of  the  Seven  Belts  of 
the  Heavens,  of  the  Twelve  Winds  of  the 
World,  of  the  Three  Waters  of  the  Sea! 
(Princess  stirs  slightly.) 

King:  That  is  a  wonder  of  wonders!  She 
is  stirring! 

Manus:  Oh,  my  share  of  the  world!  Are 
you  come  back  to  me? 

Princess:  It  was  a  hard  fight  he  wrestled 
with.  ...  I  thought  I  heard  his  voice.  .  .  . 
Is  he  come  from  danger  ? 

Nurse:  He  did.    Here  he  is.    He  that  saved 


The  Dragon  125 

you  and  that  killed  the  Dragon,  and  that  let  on 
to  be  a  serving  boy,  and  he  no  less  than  one  of 
the  world's  kings! 

Manus:  Here  I  am,  my  dear,  beside  you,  to 
be  your  comrade  and  your  company  for  ever. 
Princess:  You!  .  .  .  Yes,  it  is  yourself. 
Forgive  me.  I  am  sorry  that  I  spoke  unkindly 
to  you  a  while  ago ;  I  am  ashamed  that  it  failed 
me  to  know  you  to  be  a  king. 

(She  stands  up,  helped  by  Nurse.) 
Manus:  It  was  my  own  fault  and  my  folly. 
What  way  could  you  know  it  ?    There  is  noth- 
ing to  forgive. 

Princess:  But  ...  if  I  did  not  recognise 
you  as  a  king  .  .  .  anyway  .  .  .  the  time  you 
dropped  the  eggs  ...  I  was  nearly  certain 
that  you  were  no  cook! 
(They  embrace.) 

Queen:  There     now     I     have    everything 
brought  about  very  well  in  the  finish ! 

(A  scream  at  door.  Taig  rushes  in,  fol- 
lowed by  Sibby,  in  country  dress. 
He  kneels  at  the  Queen's  feet,  hold- 
ing on  to  her  skirt.) 


126  The  Dragon 

Sibby:  Bad  luck  and  bad  cess  to  you!  Tor- 
ment and  vexation  on  you!  (Seises  him  by 
back  of  neck  and  shakes  him. )  You  dirty  little 
scum  and  leavings!  You  puny  shrimp  you! 
You  miserable  ninth  part  of  a  man! 

Queen:  Is  it  King  or  the  Dragon  Killer  he 
is  letting  on  to  be  yet,  or  do  you  know  what  he 
is  at  all? 

Sibby:  It's  myself  knows  that,  and  does 
know  it!  He  being  Taig  the  tailor,  my  own 
son  and  my  misfortune,  that  stole  away  from 
me  a  while  ago,  bringing  with  him  the  grand 
clothes  of  that  young  champion  (points  to 
Manus)  and  his  gold !  To  borrow  a  team  of 
horses  from  the  plough  he  did,  and  to  bring 
away  the  magistrate's  coach!  But  I  followed 
him!  I  came  tracking  him  on  the  road!  Put 
off  now  those  shoes  that  are  too  narrow  for 
you,  you  red  thief,  you !  For,  believe  me,  you'll 
go  facing  home  on  shank's  mare ! 

Taig:  (Whimpering.)  It's  a  very  unkind 
thing  you  to  go  screeching  that  out  before  the 
King,  that  will  maybe  strike  my  head  off! 

Sibby:  Did  ever  you  know  of  anyone  mak- 


The  Dragon  127 

ing  a  quarrel  in  a  whisper?  To  wed  with  the 
King's  daughter,  you  would?  To  go  vanquish 
the  water-worm  you  would?  I'll  engage  you 
ran  before  you  went  anear  him! 

Taig:  If  I  didn't  I'd  be  tore  with  his  claws 
and  scorched  with  his  fiery  breath.  It  is  likely 
I'd  be  going  home  dead ! 

Sibby:  Strip  off  now  that  cloak  and  that 
bodycoat  and  come  along  with  me,  or  I'll  make 
split  marrow  of  you!  What  call  have  you  to 
a  suit  that  is  worth  more  than  the  whole  of  the 
County  Mayo?  You're  tricky  and  too  much 
tricks  in  you,  and  you  were  born  for  tricks !  It 
would  be  right  you  to  be  turned  into  the  shape 
of  a  limping  foxy  cat ! 

Taig:  (Weeping  as  he  takes  off  clothes.) 
Sure  I  thought  it  no  harm  to  try  to  go  better 
myself. 

Prince  of  Marshes:  (Giving  his  cloak  and 
coat.)  Here,  I  bestow  these  to  you.  If  you 
were  a  while  ago  a  tailor  among  kings,  from 
this  out  you  will  be  a  king  among  tailors. 

Sibby:  (Curtseying.)  Well,  then,  my  thou- 
sand blessings  on  you!  He'll  be  as  proud  as 


ia8  The  Dragon 

the  world  of  that.  Now,  Taig,  you'll  be  as 
dressed  up  as  the  best  of  them !  Come  on  now 
to  Oughtmana,  as  it  is  long  till  you'll  quit  it. 
(They  go  towards  door.) 

Dragon:  (Putting  his  head  in  at  window.) 
Manus,  King  of  Sorcha,  I  am  starved  with  the 
want  of  food.  Give  me  a  bit  to  eat. 

Fintan:  He  is  not  put  down!  He  will  de- 
vour the  whole  of  us !  F<J.  sooner  face  a  bullet 
and  ten  guns ! 

Dragon:  It  is  not  mannerly  to  eat  without 
being  invited.  Is  it  any  harm  to  ask  where  will 
I  find  a  meal  will  suit  me? 

Princess:  Oh,  does  he  ask  to  make  a  meal  of 
me,  after  all? 

Dragon:  I  am  hungry  and  dancing  with  the 
hunger !  It  was  you,  Manus,  stopped  me  from 
the  one  meal.  Let  you  set  before  me  another. 

King:  There  is  reason  in  that.  Drive  up 
now  for  him  a  bullock  from  the  meadow. 

Dragon:  Manus,  it  is  not  bullocks  I  am  crav- 
ing, since  the  time  you  changed  the  heart  with- 
in me  for  the  heart  of  a  little  squirrel  of  the 
wood. 


The  Dragon  129 

Manus:  (Taking  a  cocoa-nut  from  table.) 
Here  is  a  nut  from  the  island  of  Lanka,  that 
is  called  Adam's  Paradise.  Milk  there  is  in 
it,  and  a  kernel  as  white  as  snow. 

(He  throws  it  out.    Dragon  is  heard 
crunching. ) 

Dragon:  (Putting  head  in  again.)  More! 
Give  me  more  of  them !  Give  them  out  to  me 
by  the  dozen  and  by  the  score! 

Manus:  You  must  go  seek  them  in  the  east 
of  the  world,  where  you  can  gather  them  in 
bushels  on  the  strand. 

Dragon:  So  I  will  go  there!  I'll  make  no 
delay !  I  give  you  my  word,  I'd  sooner  one  of 
them  than  to  be  cracking  the  skulls  of  kings' 
daughters,  and  the  blood  running  down  my 
jaws.  Blood!  Ugh!  It  would  disgust  me! 
I'm  in  dread  it  would  cause  vomiting.  That 
and  to  have  the  plaits  of  hair  tickling  and  tor- 
menting my  gullet ! 

Princess:  (Claps  hands.)  That  is  good 
hearing,  and  a  great  change  of  heart. 

Dragon:  But  if  it's  a  tame  dragon  I  am 
from  this  out,  I'm  thinking  it's  best  for  me  to 


130  The  Dragon 

make  away  before  you  know  it,  or  it's  likely 
ye'll  be  yoking  me  to  harrow  the  clods,  or  to  be 
dragging  the  water-car  from  the  spring  well. 
So  good-bye  the  whole  of  ye,  and  get  to  your 
supper.  Much  good  may  it  do  you!  I  give 
you  my  word  there  is  nothing  in  the  universe 
I  despise,  only  the  flesh-eaters  of  Adam's  race ! 

CURTAIN. 


AUTHOR'S  NOTE 

I  wrote  The  Dragon  in  1917,  that  now  seems  so 
many  long  years  away,  and  I  have  been  trying  to 
remember  how  I  came  to  write  it.  I  think  perhaps 
through  some  unseen  inevitable  kick  of  the  swing 
towards  gay-coloured  comedy  from  the  shadow  of 
tragedy.  It  was  begun  seriously  enough,  for  I  see 
among  my  scraps  of  manuscripts  that  the  earliest 
outline  of  it  is  entitled  "The  Awakening  of  a  Soul," 
the  soul  of  the  little  Princess  who  had  not  gone  "far 
out  in  the  world."  And  that  idea  was  never  quite 
lost,  for  even  when  it  had  all  turned  to  comedy  I  see 
as  an  alternative  name  "A  Change  of  Heart."  For 
even  the  Dragon's  heart  is  changed  by  force,  as 
happens  in  the  old  folk  tales  and  the  heart  of  some 
innocent  creature  put  in  its  place  by  the  conqueror's 
hand;  all  change  more  or  less  except  the  Queen.  She 
is  yet  satisfied  that  she  has  moved  all  things  well,  and 
so  she  must  remain  till  some  new  breaking  up  or 
re-birth. 

As  to  the  framework,  that  was  once  to  have  been 
the  often-told  story  of  a  King's  daughter  given  to 
whatever  man  can  "knock  three  laughs  out  of  her." 
As  well  as  I  remember  the  first  was  to  have  been  when 
the  eggs  were  broken,  and  another  when  she  laughed 


132  Author's  Note 

with  the  joy  of  happy  love.  But  the  third  was  the 
stumbling-blbck.  It  was  necessary  the  ears  of  the 
Abbey  audience  should  be  tickled  at  the  same  time  as 
those  of  the  Princess,  and  old-time  jests  like  those  of 
Sir  Dinadin  of  the  Round  Table  seem  but  dull  to  ears 
of  to-day.  So  I  called  to  my  help  the  Dragon  that 
has  given  his  opportunity  to  so  many  a  hero  from 
Perseus  in  the  Greek  Stories  to  Shawneen  in  those  of 
Kiltartan.  And  he  did  not  sulk  or  fail  me,  for  after 
one  of  the  first  performances  the  producer  wrote: 
"I  wish  you  had  seen  the  play  last  night  when  a  big 
Northern  in  the  front  of  the  stalls  was  overcome 
with  helpless  laughter,  first  by  Sibby  and  then  by  the 
Dragon.  He  sat  there  long  after  the  curtain  fell, 
unable  to  move  and  wiping  the  tears  from  his  eyes; 
the  audiences  stopped  going  out  and  stood  and 
laughed  at  him."  And  even  a  Dragon  may  think  it  a 
feather  in  his  cap  to  have  made  Ulster  laugh. 

A.   G. 
Coole, 
February,  1920. 


ORIGINAL  CAST 

"The  Dragon"  was  first  produced  at  the  Abbey 
Theatre,  Dublin,  on  2ist  April,  1919,  with  the  follow- 
ing cast: 

The  King BARRY  FITZGERALD 

The  Queen MARY  SHERIDAN 

The  Princess  Nula EITHNE  MAGEE 

The  Dall  Glic  (The  Blind  Wise 

Man) PETER  NOLAN 

The  Nurse MAUREEN  DELANY 

The  Prince  of  the  Marshes J.  HUGH  NAGLE 

Manus — King  of  Sorcha ARTHUR  SHIELDS 

Fin  tan — The  Astrologer F.  J.  MACCORMICK 

Taig FLORENCE  MARKS 

The  Dragon SEAGHAN  BARLOW 

The  Porter STEPHEN  CASEY 

The  Gatekeeper HUBERT    M'GuiRE 

Two  Aunts  of  the  Prince  of  the  f  ESME  WARD 
Marshes IDYMPHNA  DALY 


133 


ARISTOTLE'S  BELLOWS 


135 


PERSONS. 


THE  MOTHER. 

CELIA 

CONAN 

TIMOTHY  . 

ROCK 

FLANNERY 

Two  CATS. 


Her  Daughter 

.  Her  Stepson 

Her  Serving  Man 

.  A  Neighbour 

His  Herd 


137 


ACT  I 


139 


ACT  I 

Scene:    A  Room  in  an  old  half-ruined  castle. 

Mother:  Look  out  the  door,  Celia,  and  see  is 
your  uncle  coming. 

Celia:  (Who  is  lying  on  the  ground,  a  bunch  of 
ribbons  in  her  hand,  and  playing  with  a  pigeon,  looks 
towards  door  without  getting  up).  I  see  no  sign  of 
him. 

Mother:  What  time  were  you  telling  me  it  was  a 
while  ago? 

Celia:  It  is  not  five  minutes  hardly  since  I  was 
telling  you  it  was  ten  o'clock  by  the  sun. 

Mother:  So  you  did,  if  I  could  but  have  kept 
it  in  mind.  What  at  all  ails  him  that  he  does  not 
come  in  to  the  breakfast? 

Celia:  He  went  out  last  night  and  the  full  moon 
shining.  It  is  likely  he  passed  the  whole  night 
abroad,  drowsing  or  rummaging,  whatever  he  does 
be  looking  for  in  the  rath. 

Mother:  I'm  in  dread  he'll  go  crazy  with 
digging  in  it. 

Celia:    He  was  crazy  with  crossness  before  that. 

Mother:  If  he  is  it's  on  account  of  his  learning. 
141 


142  Aristotle's  Bellows 

Them  that  have  too  much  of  it  are  seven  times 
crosser  than  them  that  never  saw  a  book. 

Celia:  It  is  better  to  be  tied  to  any  thorny  bush 
than  to  be  with  a  cross  man.  He  to  know  the 
seventy-two  languages  he  couldn't  be  more 
crabbed  than  what  he  is. 

Mother:  It  is  natural  to  people  do  be  so  clever 
to  be  fiery  a  little,  and  not  have  a  long  patience. 

Celia:  It's  a  pity  he  wouldn't  stop  in  that 
school  he  had  down  in  the  North,  and  not  to  come 
back  here  in  the  latter  end  of  life. 

Mother:  Ah,  he  was  maybe  tired  with  enlight- 
ening his  scholars  and  he  took  a  notion  to  acquaint 
ourselves  with  knowledge  and  learning.  I  was 
trying  to  reckon  a  while  ago  the  number  of  the 
years  he  was  away,  according  to  the  buttons  of  my 
gown  (fingers  bodice): — but  they  went  astray  on 
me  at  the  gathers  of  the  neck. 

Celia:  If  the  hour  would  come  he'd  go  out  of 
this,  I'd  sing,  I'd  play  on  all  the  melodeons  that 
ever  was  known !  (Sings.}  (Air,  "Shule  Aroon.") 

"  I  would  not  wish  him  any  ill, 
But  were  he  swept  to  some  far  hill 
It's  then  I'd  laugh  and  laugh  my  fill, 
Coo,  Coo,  my  birdeen  ban  astore. 

"  I  wish  I  was  a  linnet  free 
To  rock  and  rustle  on  the  tree 
With  none  to  haste  or  hustle  me, 
Coo,  Coo,  my  birdeen  ban  astore!" 


Aristotle's  Bellows  143 

Mother:  Did  you  make  ready  now  what  will 
please  him  for  his  breakfast  ? 

Celia:  (Laughing.)  I'm  doing  every  whole 
thing,  but  you  know  well  to  please  him  is  not 
possible. 

Mother:  It  is  going  astray  on  me  what  sort  of 
egg  best  suits  him,  a  pullet's  egg  or  the  egg  of  a 
duck. 

Celia:  I'd  go  search  out  if  it  would  satisfy  him 
the  egg  of  an  eagle  having  eyes  as  big  as  the  moon, 
and  feathers  of  pure  gold. 

Mother:    Look  out  again  would  you  see  him. 

Celia:  (Sitting  up  reluctantly.)  I  wonder  will 
the  rosy  ribbon  or  the  pale  put  the  best  appearance 
on  my  party  dress  to-night?  (Looks  out.)  He  is 
coming  down  the  path  from  the  rath,  and  he  having 
his  little  old  book  in  his  hand,  that  he  gives  out 
fell  down  before  him  from  the  skies. 

Mother:  So  there  is  a  little  book,  whatever 
language  he  does  be  wording  out  of  it. 

Celia:  If  you  listen  you'll  hear  it  now,  or  hear 
his  own  talk,  for  he's  mouthing  and  muttering  as 
he  travels  the  path. 

Conan:  (Comes  in:  the  book  in  his  hand  open, 
he  is  not  looking  at  it.)  "  Life  is  the  flame  of  the 
heart  .  .  .  that  heat  is  of  the  nature  of  the 
stars."  ...  It  is  Aristotle  had  knowledge  to 
turn  that  flame  here  and  there.  .  .  .  What  way 
now  did  he  do  that? 

Mother:    Ah,  I'm  well  pleased  to  see  you  coming 


144  Aristotle's  Bellows 

in,  Conan.  I  was  getting  uneasy  thinking  you 
were  gone  astray  on  us. 

Conan:  (Dropping  his  book  and  picking  it  up 
again.}  I  never  knew  the  like  of  you,  Maryanne, 
under  the  canopy  of  heaven.  To  be  questioning 
me  with  your  talk,  and  I  striving  to  keep  my  mind 
upon  all  the  wisdom  of  the  ancient  world.  (Sits 
down  beside  fire.) 

Mother:  So  you  would  be  too.  It  is  well  able 
you  are  to  do  that. 

Conan:  (To  Celia.)  Have  you  e'er  a  meal  to 
leave  down  to  me? 

Celia:  It  will  be  ready  within  three  minutes  of 
time. 

Conan:  Wasting  the  morning  on  me!  What 
good  are  you  if  you  cannot  so  much  as  boil  the 
breakfast  ?  Hurry  on  now. 

Celia:  Ah,  hurry  didn't  save  the  hare.  (Sings 
ironically  as  she  prepares  breakfast.)  (Air,  "Mo 
Bhuachailin  Buidhe") 

"Come  in  the  evening  or  come  in  the  morning, 
Come  when  you're  looked  for  or  come  without 

warning; 

Kisses  and  welcome  you'll  find  here  before  you 
And  the  oftner  you  come  here  the  more  I'll  adore 

you." 

Conan:    Give  me  up  the  tea-pot. 
Celia:    Best  leave  it  on  the  coals  awhile. 
Conan:  Give  me  up  those  eggs  so.    (Seizes  them.) 


Aristotle's  Bellows  145 

Celia:  You  can  take  the  tea-pot  too  if  you  are 
calling  for  it.  (Goes  on  singing  mischievously  as 
she  turns  a  cake.} 

"I'll  pull  you  sweet  flowers  to  wear  if  you'll  choose 

them, 

Or  after  you've  kissed  them  they'll  lie  on  my 
bosom." 

Conan:  (Breaking  eggs.}  They're  raw  and 
running ! 

Celia:  There's  no  one  can  say  which  is  best, 
hurry  or  delay. 

Conan:    You  had  them  boiled  in  cold  water ; 

Celia:    That's  where  you're  wrong. 

Conan:  The  young  people  that's  in  the  world 
now,  if  you  had  book  truth  they  wouldn't  believe 
it.  (Flings  eggs  into  the  fire  and  pours  out  tea.} 

Mother:    I  hope  now  that  is  pleasing  to  you? 

Conan:  (Threatening  Celia  with  spoon.}  My 
seven  curses  on  yourself  and  your  fair-haired  tea. 
(Puts  back  tea-pot.} 

Celia:  (Laughing.}  It  was  hurry  left  it  so 
weak  on  you ! 

Mother:  Ah,  don't  be  putting  reproaches  on 
him.  Crossness  is  a  thing  born  with  us.  It  do 
run  in  the  blood.  Strive  now  to  let  him  have  a 
quiet  life. 

Conan:  I  am  not  asking  a  quiet  life!  But  to 
come  live  with  your  own  family,  you  might  as  well 
take  your  coffin  on  your  back ! 


Aristotle's  Bellows 


Celia:     (Sings.) 

"We'll  look  on  the  stars  and  we'll  list  to  the  river 
'Till  you  ask  of  your  darling  what  gift  you  can 
give  her." 

Conan:  That  girl  is  a  disgrace  sitting  on  the 
floor  the  way  she  is!  If  I  had  her  for  a  while  I'd 
put  betterment  on  her.  No  one  that  was  under 
me  ever  grew  slack  ! 

Celia:  You  would  never  tie  satisfied  and  you 
to  see  me  working  from  dark  to  dark  as  hard  as  a 
pismire  in  the  tufts. 

Mother:  Leave  her  now,  she's  a  quiet  little 
girl  and  comely. 

Conan:  Comely!  I'd  sooner  her  to  be  like  the 
ugliest  sod  of  turf  that  is  pockmarked  in  the  bog, 
and  a  handy  housekeeper,  and  her  pigeon  doing 
something  for  the  world  if  it  was  but  scaring  its 
comrades  on  a  stick  in  a  barley  garden  ! 

Celia:  Ah,  do  you  hear  him!  (Stroking 
pigeon.}  (Sings.) 

"But  when  your  friend  is  forced  to  flee 
You'll  spread  your  white  wings  on  the  sea 
And  fly  and  follow  after  me  — 
Go-d6  tu  Mavourneen  slan  !  '  ' 

Mother:  I  wonder  you  to  be  going  into  the  rath 
the  way  you  do,  Conan.  It  is  a  very  haunted  place. 

Conan:  Don't  be  bothering  me.  I  have  my 
reason  for  that. 


Aristotle's  Bellows  147 

Mother:  I  often  heard  there  is  many  a  one 
lost  his  wits  in  it. 

Conan:  It's  likely  they  hadn't  much  to  lose. 
Without  the  education  anyone  is  no  good. 

Mother:  Ah,  indeed  you  were  always  a  tip- top 
scholar.  I  didn't  ever  know  how  good  you  were 
till  I  had  my  memory  lost. 

Conan:  Indeed,  it  is  a  strange  thing  any  wits 
at  all  to  be  found  in  this  family. 

Mother:  Ah,  sure  we  are  as  is  allotted  to  us  at 
the  time  God  made  the  world. 

Conan:    Now  I  to  make  the  world — 

Mother:  You  are  not  saying  you  would  make  a 
better  hand  of  it? 

Conan:    I  am  certain  sure  I  could. 

Mother:    Ah,  don't  be  talking  that  way ! 

Conan:    I'd  make  changes  you'd  wonder  at. 

Celia:  It's  likely  you'd  make  the  world  in  one 
day  in  place  of  six. 

Mother:  It's  best  make  changes  little  by  little 
the  same  as  you'd  put  clothes  upon  a  growing 
child,  and  to  knock  every  day  out  of  what  God 
will  give  you,  and  to  live  as  long  as  we  can,  and 
die  when  we  can't  help  it. 

Conan:  And  the  first  thing  I'd  do  would  be  to 
give  you  back  your  memory  and  your  sense. 
(Sings.)  (Air,  "  The  Bells  of  Shandon. ") 

"My  brain  grows  rusty,  my  mind  is  dusty, 
The  time  I'm  dwelling  with  the  likes  of  ye, 


148  Aristotle's  Bellows 

While  my  spirit  ranges  through  all  the  changes 
Could  turn  the  world  to  felicity ! 
When  Aristotle  . 


Mother:  It  is  like  a  dream  to  me  I  heard  that 
name.  Aristotle  of  the  books. 

Conan:  (Eagerly.}  What  did  you  hear  about 
him? 

Mother:  I  don't  know  was  it  about  him  or  was 
it  some  other  one.  My  memory  to  be  as  good  as 
it  is  bad  I  might  maybe  bring  it  to  mind. 

Conan:    Hurry  on  now  and  remember ! 

Mother:  Ah,  it's  hard  remember  anything  and 
the  weather  so  uncertain  as  what  it  is. 

Conan:    Is  it  of  late  you  heard  it? 

Mother:  It  was  maybe  ere  yesterday  or  some 
day  of  the  sort ;  I  don't  know.  Since  the  age  tam- 
pered with  me  the  thing  I'd  hear  to-day  I  wouldn't 
think  of  to-morrow. 

Conan:  Try  now  and  tell  me  was  it  that 
Aristotle,  the  time  he  walked  Ireland,  had  come  to 
this  place. 

Mother:  It  might  be  that,  unless  it  might  be 
some  other  thing. 

Conan:  And  that  he  left  some  great  treasure 
hid — it  might  be  in  the  rath  without. 

Mother:  And  what  good  would  it  do  you  a  pot  of 
gold  to  be  hid  in  the  rath  where  you  would  never 
come  near  to  it,  it  being  guarded  by  enchanted 
cats  and  they  having  fiery  eyes? 


Aristotle's  Bellows  149 

Conan:  Did  I  say  anything  about  a  pot  of 
gold?  This  was  better  again  than  gold.  This 
was  an  enchantment  would  raise  you  up  if  you 
were  gasping  from  death.  Give  attention  now  .  .  . 
Aristotle. 

Mother:    It's  Harry  he  used  to  be  called. 

Conan:  Listen  now.  (Sings.}  (Air,  "Bells  of 
Shandon") 

"Once  Aristotle  hid  in  a  bottle 
Or  some  other  vessel  of  security 
A  spell  had  power  bring  sweet  from  sour 
Or  bring  blossoms  blooming  on  the  blasted  tree." 

Mother:  (Repeating  last  line.}  "  Or  bring  blos- 
soms blooming  on  the  blasted  tree." 

Conan:  Is  that  now  what  you  heard  .  .  .  that 
Aristotle  has  hid  some  secret  spell? 

Mother:  I  won't  say  what  I  don't  know.  My 
memory  is  too  weak  for  me  to  be  telling  lies. 

Conan:  You  could  strengthen  it  if  you  took  it 
in  hand,  putting  a  knot  in  the  corner  of  your  shawl 
to  keep  such  and  such  a  thing  in  mind. 

Mother:  If  I  did  I  should  put  another  knot  in 
the  other  corner  to  remember  what  was  the  first 
one  for. 

Conan:  You'd  remember  it  well  enough  if  it 
was  a  pound  of  tea ! 

Mother:  Ah,  maybe  it's  best  be  as  I  am  and  not 
to  be  running  carrying  lies  here  and  there,  putting 
trouble  on  people's  mind. 


Aristotle's  Bellows 


Conan:  Isn't  it  terrible  to  be  seeing  all  this 
folly  around  me  and  not  to  have  a  way  to  better  it  ! 

Mother:  Ah,  dear,  it's  best  leave  the  time  under 
the  mercy  of  the  Man  that  is  over  us  all. 

Conan:  (Jumping  up  furious.)  Where's  the 
use  of  old  people  being  in  the  world  at  all  if  they 
cannot  keep  a  memory  of  things  gone  by  !  (Sings.) 
(Air,  "0  the  time  I've  lost  in  wooing") 

"O  the  time  I've  lost  pursuing 
And  feeling  nothing  doing, 
The  lure  that  led  me  from  my  bed 
Has  left  me  sad  and  rueing  ! 
Success  seemed  very  near  me  ! 
High  hope  was  there  to  cheer  me  ! 
I  asked  my  book  where  would  I  look 
And  all  it  did  was  fleer  me!  " 

Mother:    What  is  it  ails  you? 

Conan:  That  secret  to  be  in  the  world,  and  I 
all  to  have  laid  my  hand  on  it,  and  it  to  have  gone 
astray  on  me  ! 

Mother:    So  it  would  go  too. 

Conan:  A  secret  that  could  change  the  world! 
I'd  make  it  as  good  a  world  to  live  in  as  it  was  in 
the  time  of  the  Greeks.  I  don't  see  much  good- 
ness in  the  trace  of  the  people  in  it  now.  To 
change  everything  to  its  contrary  the  way  the 
book  said  it  would!  There  would  be  great  satis- 
faction doing  that.  Was  there  ever  in  the  world 
a  family  was  so  little  use  to  a  man?  (Sings  in 
dejection.)  (Air,  "My  Molly  O.") 


Aristotle's  Bellows  151 

"There  is  a  rose  in  Ireland,  I  thought  it  would  be 

mine 
But  now  that  it  is  hid  from  me  I  must  forever 

pine. 
Till  death  shall  come  and  comfort  me  for  to  the 

grave  I'll  go 
And  all  for  the  sake  of  Aristotle's  secret  O!" 

Celia:  I  wonder  you  wouldn't  ask  Timothy 
that  is  older  again  than  what  my  mother  is. 

Conan:    Timothy !    He  has  the  hearing  lost. 

Celia:    Well  there  is  no  harm  to  try  him. 

Conan:  (Going  to  door.}  Timothy!  .  V  . 
There,  he's  as  deaf  as  a  beetle. 

Mother:  It  might  be  best  for  him.  The  thing 
the  ear  will  not  hear  will  not  put  trouble  on  the 
heart. 

Celia:  (Who  has  gone  out  comes  pushing  him  in.) 
Here  he  is  now  for  you. 

Conan:    Did  ever  you  hear  of  Aristotle? 

Timothy:    Aye  ? 

Conan:    Aristotle ! 

Timothy:    Ere  a  bottle?     I  might  .    .    . 

Conan:  Aristotle.  .  .  .  That  had  some 
power? 

Timothy:    I  never  seen  no  flower. 

Conan:    Something  he  hid  near  this  place. 

Timothy:    I  never  went  near  no  race. 

Conan:  Has  the  whole  world  its  mind  made 
up  to  annoy  me ! 


152  Aristotle's  Bellows 

Celia:    Raise  your  voice  into  his  ear. 
Conan:    (Chanting.) 

"Aristotle  in  the  hour 
He  left  Ireland  left  a  power 
In  a  gift  Eolus  gave 
Could  all  Ireland  change  and  save!" 

Timothy:    Would  it  now? 

Conan:    You  said  you  had  heard  of  a  bottle. 

Timothy:  A  charmed  bottle.  It  is  Biddy  Early 
put  a  cure  in  it  and  bestowed  it  in  her  will  to  her  son. 

Conan:    Aristotle  that  left  one  in  the  same  way. 

Timothy:  It  is  what  I  am  thinking  that  my  old 
generations  used  to  be  talking  about  a  bellows. 

Conan:    A  bellows !    There's  no  sense  in  that ! 

Timothy:  Have  it  your  own  way  so,  and  give 
me  leave  to  go  feeding  the  little  chickens  and  the 
hens,  for  if  I  cannot  hear  what  they  say  and  they 
cannot  understand  what  I  say,  they  put  no  re- 
proach on  me  after,  no  more  than  I  would  put 
it  on  themselves.  (Goes.)  v ,,..  • 

Celia:  Let  you  be  satisfied  now  and  not  tor- 
ment yourself,  for  if  you  got  the  world  wide  you 
couldn't  discover  it.  You  might  as  well  think  to 
throw  your  hat  to  hit  the  stars. 

Conan:  You  have  me  tormented  among  the 
whole  of  ye.  To  be  without  ye  would  be  no  harm 
at  all.  (Sits  down  and  weeps.)  Of  all  the  families 
anyone  would  wish  to  live  away  from  I  am  full 
sure  my  family  is  the  worst. 


Aristotle's  Bellows  153 

Mother:  Ah,  dear,  you're  worn  out  and  con- 
trary with  the  want  of  sleep.  Come  now  into  the 
room  and  stretch  yourself  on  the  bed.  To  go 
sleeping  out  in  the  grass  has  no  right  rest  in  it  at 
all !  ( Takes  his  arm.} 

Conan:  Where's  the  use  of  lying  on  my  bed 
where  it  is  convenient  to  the  yard,  that  I'd  be 
afflicted  by  the  turkeys  yelping  and  the  pullets 
praising  themselves  after  laying  an  egg!  and  the 
cackling  and  hissing  of  the  geese. 

Mother:  Lie  down  so  on  the  settle,  and  1 11  let 
no  one  disturb  you.  You're  destroyed,  avic,  with 
the  want  of  sleep. 

Conan:  There'll  be  no  peace  in  this  kitchen  no 
more  than  on  the  common  highway  with  the 
people  running  in  and  out. 

Mother:  I'll  go  sit  in  the  little  gap  without,  and 
the  whole  place  will  be  as  quiet  as  St.  Colman's 
wilderness  of  stones. 

Conan:    The  boards  are  too  hard. 

Mother:    I'll  put  a  pillow  in  under  you. 

Conan:  Now  it's  too  narrow.  Leave  me  now 
it'll  be  best. 

Mother:  Sleep  and  good  dreams  to  you.  (Goes 
singing  sleepy  song.} 

Conan:  The  most  troublesome  family  ever  I 
knew  in  all  my  born  days!  Why  is  that  people 
cannot  have  behaviour  now  the  same  as  in  ancient 
Greece.  (Sits  up.}  I'll  not  give  them  the  satis- 
faction of  going  asleep.  I'll  drink  a  sup  of  the 


154  Aristotle's  Bellows 

tea  that  is  black  with  standing  and  with  strength. 
(Drinks  and  lies  down.)  I'll  engage  that'll  keep 
me  waking.  (Music  heard.)  Is  it  to  annoy  me 
they  are  playing  tunes  of  music?  I'll  let  on  to  be 
asleep!  (Shuts  eyes.) 

(Two  large  Cats  with  fiery  eyes  look  over  top 
of  settle.) 

1st  Cat:         See  the  fool  that  crossed  our  path 
Rummaging  within  the  rath. 

Coveting  a  spell  is  bound 
Agelong  in  our  haunted  ground. 

Hid  that  none  disturb  its  peace 
By  a  Druid  out  from  Greece. 

Spies  and  robbers  have  no  call 
Rooting  in  our  ancient  wall. 

Man  or  mortal  what  is  he 
Matched  against  the  mighty  Sidhe? 

2nd  Cat:       Bid  our  riders  of  the  night 

Daze  and  craze  him  with  affright, 

Leave  him  fainting  and  forlorn 
Hanging  on  the  moon's  young  horn. 

Let  the  death-bands  turn  him  pale 
Through  the  venom  of  our  tail. 

Let  him  learn  to  love  our  law 
With  the  sharpness  of  our  claw. 


Aristotle's  Bellows  155 

Let  our  King-cat's  fiery  flash 
Turn  him  to  a  heap  of  ash. 

ist  Cat:         Punishment  enough  he'll  find 
In  his  cross  and  cranky  mind. 

Ha,  ha,  ha,  and  ho,  ho,  ho, 
He'd  a  sharper  penance  know, 

We'd  have  better  sport  today 
If  he  got  his  will  and  way, 

Found  the  spell  that  lies  unknown 
Underneath  his  own  hearthstone. 
(They  disappear  saying  together:) 

Men  and  mortals  what  are  ye 
Matched  against  the  mighty  Sidhe? 

Conan:  (Looking  out  timidly.)  Are  they  gone? 
Here,  Puss,  puss!  Come  hither  now  poor  Puss! 
They're  not  in  it.  ...  Here  now!  here's  milk 
for  ye.  And  a  drop  of  cream.  .  .  .  (Gets  up, 
peeps  under  settle  and  around.)  They  are  gone! 
And  that  they  may  never  come  back !  I  wouldn't 
wish  to  be  brought  riding  a  thorny  bush  in  the  night 
time  into  the  cold  that  is  behind  the  sun !  What 
now  did  they  say  ?  Or  is  it  dreaming  I  was  ?  Oh, 
it  was  not!  They  spoke  clear  and  plain.  The 
hidden  spell  that  I  was  seeking,  they  said  it  to  be 
in  the  hiding  hole  under  the  hearth.  (Pokes, 
sneezes.)  Bad  cess  to  Celia  leaving  that  much 


156  Aristotle's  Bellows 

ashes  to  be  choking  me.     Well,  the  luck  has  come 
to  me  at  last ! 

(Sings  as  he  searches.) 

"Proudly  the  note  of  the  trumpet  is  sounding, 

Loudly  the  war  cries  rise  on  the  gale ; 

Fleetly  the  steed  by  Lough  Swilly  is  bound- 
ing 

To  join  the  thick  squadrons  in  Saimear's  green 
vale. 

On  every  mountaineer,  strangers  to  flight  and 
fear; 

Rush  to  the  standard  of  dauntless  Red  Hugh 

Bonnaught  and  gallowglass,  throng  from  each 
mountain  pass. 

On  for  old  Erin,  O'Donnall  Abu." 

(Pokes  at  hearthstone.)  Sure  enough,  it's 
loose!  It's  moving!  Wait  till  I'll  get 
a  wedge  under  it ! 

(Takes  fork  from  table.)     It's  coming ! 
(Door  suddenly  opens  and  he  drops  fork  and 

springs  back.) 

Mother:  (Coming  in  with  Rock  and  Flannery.) 
Here  now,  come  in  the  two  of  ye.  Here  now,  Conan, 
is  two  of  the  neighbours,  James  Rock  of  Lis  Crohan 
and  Fardy  Flannery  the  rambling  herd,  that  are 
come  to  get  a  light  for  the  pipe  and  they  walking 
the  road  from  the  Fair. 

Conan:  That's  the  way  you  make  a  fool  of  me 
promising  me  peace  and  quiet  for  to  sleep ! 

Mother:    Ah,  so  I  believe  I  did.     But  it  slipped 


Aristotle's  Bellows  157 

away  from  me,  and  I  listening  to  the  blackbird  on 
the  bush. 

Conan:  (To  Rock.}  I  wonder  James  Rock, 
that  you  wouldn't  have  on  you  so  much  as  a  half- 
penny box  of  matches ! 

Rock:  (Trying  to  get  to  hearth.}  So  I  have 
matches.  But  why  would  I  spend  one  when  I  can 
get  for  nothing  a  light  from  a  sod  ? 

Flannery:  Sure,  I  could  give  you  a  match  I 
have  this  long  time,  waiting  till  I'll  get  as  much 
tobacco  as  will  fill  a  pipe. 

Mother:  It's  the  poor  man  does  be  generous. 
It's  gone  from  my  mind,  Fardy,  what  was  it 
brought  you  to  be  a  servant  of  poverty  ? 

Flannery:  Since  the  day  I  lost  on  the  road  my 
forty  pound  that  I  had  to  stock  my  little  farm  of 
land,  all  has  wore  away  from  me  and  left  me  bare 
owning  nothing  unless  daylight  and  the  run  of 
water.  It  was  that  put  me  on  the  Shaughrann. 
(Sings  "The  Bard  of  Armagh"} 

"Oh,  list  to  the  lay  of  a  poor  Irish  harper, 
And  scorn  not  the  strains  of  his  old  withered 

hand, 
But   remember   the  fingers   could   once   move 

sharper 

To  raise  the  merry  strains  of  his  dear  native  land ; 
It  was  long  before  the  shamrock  our  dear  isle's 

loved  emblem 
Was  crushed  in  its  beauty  'neath  the  Saxon  Lion's 

paw 


158  Aristotle's  Bellows 

I  was  called  by  the  colleens  of  the  village  and 

valley 
Bold  Phelim  Brady,  the  bard  of  Armagh." 

Rock:  Bad  management!  Look  what  I 
brought  from  the  Fair  through  minding  my  own 
property — £20  for  a  milch  cow,  and  thirty  for  a 
score  of  lambs ! 

Mother:  £20  for  a  cow!  Isn't  that  terrible 
money ! 

Conan:  Let  you  whist  now!  You  are  putting 
a  headache  on  me  with  all  your  little  newses  and 
country  chat ! 

(Mother  goes,  the  others  are  following.} 

Rock:  ( Turning  from  door.}  It  might  be  better 
for  yourself,  Conan  Creevey,  if  you  had  minded 
business  would  bring  profit  to  your  hand  in  place 
of  your  foreign  learning,  that  never  put  a  penny 
piece  in  anyone's  pocket  that  ever  I  heard.  No 
earthly  profit  unless  to  addle  the  brain  and  leave 
the  pocket  empty. 

Conan:  You  think  yourself  a  great  sort!  Let 
me  tell  you  that  my  learning  has  power  to  do  more 
than  that ! 

Rock:    It's  an  empty  mouth  that  has  big  talk. 

Conan:  What  would  you  say  hearing  I  had 
power  put  in  my  hand  that  could  change  the  entire 
world?  And  that's  what  you  never  will  have  power 
to  do. 

Rock:    What  power  is  that? 


Aristotle's  Bellows  159 

Conan:    Aristotle  in  the  hour 

He  left  Ireland  left  a  power.   .    .    . 

Rock:  Foolishness!  I  never  would  believe  in 
poetry  or  in  dreams  or  images,  but  in  ready  money 
down.  (Jingles  bag.) 

Conan:  I  tell  you  you'll  see  me  getting  the 
victory  over  all  Ireland ! 

Rock:  You  have  but  a  cracked  headpiece  think- 
ing that  will  come  to  you. 

Conan:  I  tell  you  it  will !  No  end  at  all  in  the 
world  to  what  I  am  about  to  bring  in ! 

Rock:    It's  easy  praise  yourself! 

Conan:  And  so  I  am  praising  myself,  and  so  will 
you  all  be  praising  me  when  you  will  see  all  that 
I  will  do! 

Rock:  It  is  what  I  think  you  got  demented  in 
the  head  and  in  the  mind. 

Conan:  It  is  soon  the  wheel  will  be  turned  and 
the  whole  of  the  nation  will  be  changed  for  the 
best.  (Sings.) 

"Dear  Harp  of  my  country,  in  darkness  I  found 
thee, 

The  cold  chain  of  silence  had  hung  o'er  thee  long, 

When  proudly,  my  own  Irish  Harp,  I  unbound 
thee, 

And  gave  all  thy  chords  to  light,  freedom  and 
song, 

The  warm  lay  of  love  and  the  light  note  of  glad- 
ness 

Have  waken 'd  thy  fondest,  thy  liveliest  thrill; 


160  Aristotle's  Bellows 

But  so  oft  hast  thou  echo'd  the  deep  sigh  of 

sadness, 
That  ev'n  in  thy  mirth  it  will  steal  from  thee 

still." 

Flannery:  That's  a  great  thought,  if  it  is  but  a 
vanity  or  a  dream. 

Rock:  (Sneeringly.)  Well  now  and  what  would 
you  do? 

Flannery:  I  would  wish  a  great  lake  of  milk, 
the  same  as  blessed  St.  Bridget,  to  be  sharing  with 
the  family  of  Heaven.  I  would  wish  vessels  full 
of  alms  that  would  save  every  sorrowful  man.  Do 
that  now,  Conan,  and  you'll  have  the  world  of 
prayers  down  on  you ! 

Rock:  It's  what  I'd  do,  to  turn  the  whole  of 
Galway  Bay  to  dry  land,  and  I  to  have  it  for  my- 
self, the  red  land,  the  green  land,  the  fallow  and  the 
lea !  The  want  of  land  is  a  great  stoppage  to  a  man 
having  means  to  lay  out  in  stock. 

(Sings.)    (Air,  "7  wish  I  had  the  shepherd's 

lamb.'') 

i ,  ..  .       I  •  fir. i  ...    '<•'   i 

"I  wish  I  had  both  mill  and  kiln, 
I  wish  I  had  of  land  my  fill; 
I  wish  I  had  both  mill  and  kiln, 
And  all  would  follow  after!" 

Flannery:  Ah,  the  land,  the  land,  the  rotten 
land,  and  what  will  you  have  in  the  end  but  the 
breadth  of  your  back  of  it?  Let  you  now  soften 


Aristotle's  Bellows  161 

the  heart  in  that  one  (points  to  Rock}  till  he  would 
restore  to  me  the  thing  he  is  aware  of. 

Conan:  It  was  not  for  that  the  spell  was 
promised,  to  be  changing  a  few  neighbours  or  a 
thing  of  the  kind,  or  to  be  doing  wonders  in  this 
broken  little  place.  A  town  of  dead  factions !  To 
change  any  of  the  dwellers  in  this  place  would  be 
to  make  it  better,  for  it  would  be  impossible  to 
make  it  worse.  The  time  you  wouldn't  be  med- 
dling with  them  you  wouldn't  know  them  to  be 
bad,  but  the  time  you'd  have  to  do  business  with 
them  that's  the  time  you'd  know  it ! 

Rock:  I  suppose  it  is  what  you  are  asking  to 
do,  to  make  yourself  rich? 

Conan:  I  do  not !  I  would  be  loth  to  take  any 
profit,  and  Aristotle  after  laying  down  that  to 
pleasure  or  to  profit  every  wealthy  man  is  a  slave ! 

Flannery:    What  would  you  do,  so? 

Conan:  I  will  change  all  into  the  similitude  of 
ancient  Greece !  There  is  no  man  at  all  can  under- 
stand argument  but  it  is  from  Greece  he  is.  I  know 
well  what  I'm  doing.  I'm  not  like  a  potato  having 
eyes  this  way  and  that.  People  were  harmless 
long  ago  and  why  wouldn't  they  be  made  harm- 
less again?  Aristotle  said,  "Fair  play  is  more 
beautiful  than  the  morning  and  the  evening  star!" 

"Be  friendly  with  one  another,"  he  said,  "and 
let  the  lawyers  starve!"  I'll  turn  the  captains  of 
soldiers  to  be  as  peaceable  as  children  picking 
strawberries  in  the  grass.  I've  a  mind  to  change 


162  Aristotle's  Bellows 

the  tongue  of  the  people  to  the  language  of  the 
Greeks,  that  no  farmer  will  be  grumbling  over  a 
halfpenny  Independent,  but  be  following  the 
plough  in  full  content,  giving  out  Homer  and  the 
praises  of  the  ancient  world ! 

Flannery:  If  you  make  the  farmers  content 
you  will  make  the  world  content. 

Rock:  You  will,  when  you'll  bring  the  sun  from 
Greece  to  ripen  our  little  lock  of  oats ! 

Conan:  So  I  will  drag  Ireland  from  its  moor- 
ings till  I'll  bring  it  to  the  middling  sea  that  has 
no  ebb  or  flood ! 

Rock:  You  will  do  well  to  put  a  change  on  the 
college  that  harboured  you,  and  that  left  you  so 
much  of  folly. 

Conan:  I'll  do  that!  I'll  be  in  College  Green 
before  the  dawn  is  white — no  but  before  the  night 
is  grey!  It  is  to  Dublin  I  will  bring  my  spell,  for 
I  ever  and  always  heard  it  said  what  Dublin  will 
do  to-day  Ireland  will  do  to-morrow !  (Sings.) 

"Let  Erin  remember  the  days  of  old 
Ere  her  faithless  sons  betrayed  her — 
When  Malachy  wore  the  collar  of  gold 
Which  he  won  from  her  proud  invader — 
When  her  kings  with  standards  of  green  unfurl'd, 
Led  the  Red-Branch  knights  to  danger ; 
Ere  the  emerald  gem  of  the  western  world 
Was  set  in  the  crown  of  a  stranger." 

Rock:  And  maybe  you'll  tell  us  now  by  what 
means  you  will  do  all  this? 


Aristotle's  Bellows  163 

Conan:  Go  out  of  the  house  and  I  will  tell  you 
in  the  by  and  bye. 

Rock:  That  is  what  I  was  thinking.  You  are 
talking  nothing  but  lies. 

Conan:  I  tell  you  that  power  is  not  far  from 
where  you  stand !  But  I  will  let  no  one  see  it  only 
myself. 

Flannery:  There  might  be  some  truth  in  it. 
There  are  some  say  enchantments  never  went  out 
of  Ireland. 

Conan:  It  is  a  spell,  I  say,  that  will  change 
anything  to  its  contrary.  To  turn  it  upon  a  snail, 
there  is  hardly  a  greyhound  but  it  would  overtake ; 
but  a  hare  it  would  turn  to  be  the  slowest  thing  in 
the  universe ;  too  slow  to  go  to  a  funeral. 

Rock:    I'll  believe  it  when  I'll  see  it. 

Conan:  You  could  see  it  if  I  let  you  look  in 
this  hiding-hole. 

Rock:    Good-morrow  to  you ! 

Conan:  Then  you  will  see  it,  for  I'll  raise  up 
the  stone.  (Kneels.) 

Rock:  It  to  be  anything  it  is  likely  a  pot  of 
sovereigns. 

Flannery:    It  might  be  the  harp  of  Angus. 

Rock:    I  see  no  trace  of  it. 

Conan:  There  is  something  hard!  It  should 
likely  be  a  silver  trumpet  or  a  hunting-horn  of 
gold! 

Rock:    Give  me  a  hold  of  it. 

Conan:    Leave  go !    (Lifts  out  bellows.) 


164  Aristotle's  Bellows 

Rock:  Ha !  Ha !  Ha !  after  all  your  chat,  nothing 
but  a  little  old  bellows !  .  .  . 

Conan:  There  is  seven  rings  on  it.  .  .  .  They 
should  signify  the  seven  blasts.  .  .  . 

Rock:  If  there  was  seventy  times  seven  what 
use  would  it  be  but  to  redden  the  coals? 

Conan:  Every  one  of  these  blasts  has  power  to 
make  some  change. 

Rock:  Make  one  so,  and  I'll  plough  the  world 
for  you. 

Conan:  Is  it  that  I  would  spend  one  of  my 
seven  blasts  convincing  the  like  of  ye? 

Rock:  It  is  likely  the  case  there  is  no  power  in 
it  at  all. 

Conan:  I'm  very  sure  there  is  surely.  The 
world  will  be  a  new  world  before  to-morrow's 
Angelus  bell. 

Flannery:    I  never  could  believe  in  a  bellows. 

Rock:  Here  now  is  a  fair  offer.  I'll  loan  you 
this  bag  of  notes  to  pay  your  charges  to  Dublin  if 
you  will  change  that  little  pigeon  in  the  crib  into  a 
crow. 

Conan:    I  will  do  no  such  folly. 

Rock:  You  wouldn't  because  you'd  be  afeared 
to  try. 

Conan:  Hold  it  up  to  me.  I'll  show  you  am 
I  afeared ! 

Rock:    There  it  is  now.     (Holds  up  cage.} 

Conan:    Have  a  care !    (Blows.) 

Rock:    (Dropping  it  with  a  shriek.)     It  has  me 


Aristotle's  Bellows  165 

bit  with  its  hard  beak,  it  is  turned  to  be  an  old 
black  crow. 

Flannery:    As  black  as  the  bottom  of  the  pot. 
Crow:    Caw!  Caw!  Caw! 

(Cats  reappear  and  look  over  back  of  settle.) 
(Music  from  behind.)     ("O'Donnall  Abu.") 


CURTAIN 


ACT  II 


167 


ACT  II 

Conan  alone  holding  up  bellows,  singing: 

Conan: 

"And  doth  not  a  meeting  like  this  make  amends 
For  all  the  long  years  I've  been  wandering  away 
Deceived  for  a  moment  it's  now  in  my  hands — 
I  breathe  the  fresh  air  of  life's  morning  again!" 

Celia:  (Comes  in  having  listened  amused  at 
door;  claps  hands.}  Very  good !  It  is  you  yourself 
should  be  going  to  the  dance  house  to-night  in 
place  of  myself.  It  is  long  since  I  heard  you  rise 
so  happy  a  tune ! 

Conan:  (Putting  bellows  behind  him.}  What 
brings  you  here  ?  Is  there  no  work  for  you  out  in 
the  garden — the  cabbages  to  be  cutting  for  the 
cow.  .  .  . 

Celia:    I  wouldn't  wish  to  roughen  my  hands  be- 
fore evening.     Music  there  will  be  for  the  dancing ! 
(She  lilts  Miss  McLeod's  Reel.} 

Conan:    Let  you  go  ready  yourself  for  it  so. 

Celia:  Is  it  at  this  time  of  the  day?  You 
should  be  forgetting  the  hours  of  the  clock  the 
same  as  the  poor  mother. 

169 


i7°  Aristotle's  Bellows 

Conan:  It  is  a  strange  thing  since  I  came  to 
this  house  I  never  can  get  one  minute's  ease  and 
quiet  to  myself. 

Celia:    It  was  hearing  you  singing  brought  me  in . 

Conan:  I'd  sooner  have  you  without!  Be 
going  now. 

Celia:  I  will  and  welcome.  It  is  to  bring  out 
my  little  pigeon  I  will,  where  there  is  a  few  grains 
of  barley  fell  from  a  car  going  the  road. 

Conan:    Hurry  on  so !     , 

Celia:  (Taking  up  cage.}  He  is  not  in  his  crib. 
(Looking  here  and  there.)  Where  now  can  he 
have  gone? 

Conan:    He  should  have  gone  out  the  door. 

Celia:  He  did  not.  He  could  not  have  come 
out  unknown  to  me.  Coo,  coo, — coo — coo. 

Conan:  Never  mind  him  now.  You  are  put- 
ting my  mind  astray  with  your  Coo,  coo — 

Celia:  He  might  be  in  under  the  settle. 
(Stoops.)  Where  are  you  my  little  bird.  (Sings.) 
(Air,  "Shule  Aroon.") 

"But  now  my  love  has  gone  to  France 
His  own  fair  fortune  to  advance; 
If  he  come  back  again  'tis  but  a  chance ; 
Os  go  de  tu  Mavourneen  slan!" 

Conan:  (Pulling  her  away.)  What  way  would 
he  be  in  it?  Let  you  put  a  stop  to  that  humming. 
(Seizes  her.)  Come  here  to  the  light  .  .  .  is  it 
you  sewed  this  button  on  my  coat? 


Aristotle's  Bellows  17 l 

Celia:  It  was  not.  It  is  likely  it  was  some 
tailor  down  in  the  North. 

Conan:    It  is  getting  loose  on  the  sleeve. 

Celia:  Ah,  it  will  last  a  good  while  yet.  Coo, 
coo! 

Conan:  (Getting  before  her.)  It  would  be  no 
great  load  on  you  to  get  a  needle  and  put  a  stitch 
would  tighten  it. 

Celia:  I'll  do  it  in  the  by  and  bye.  There,  I 
twisted  the  thread  around  it.  That'll  hold  good 
enough  for  a  while. 

Conan:  "Anything  worth  doing  at  all  is  worth 
doing  well." 

Celia:  Aren't  you  getting  very  dainty  in  your 
dress? 

Conan:  Any  man  would  like  to  have  a  decent 
appearance  on  his  suit. 

Celia:  Isn't  it  the  same  to-day  as  it  was  yester- 
day? 

Conan:    Have  you  ne'er  a  needle? 

Celia:    I  don't  know  where  is  it  gone. 

Conan:  You  haven't  a  stim  of  sense.  Can't 
you  keep  in  mind  "Everything  in  its  right 
place." 

Celia:    Sure,  there's  no  hurry — the  day  is  long. 

Conan:  Anything  has  to  be  done,  the  quickest 
to  do  it  is  the  best. 

Celia:     I'm  not  working  by  the  hour  or  the  day. 

Conan:  Look  now  at  Penelope  of  the  Greeks, 
and  all  her  riches,  and  her  man  not  at  hand  to  urge 


Aristotle's  Bellows 


her,  how  well  she  sat  at  the  loom  from  morn  till 
night  till  she'd  have  the  makings  of  a  suit  of  frieze. 

Celia:  Ah,  that  was  in  the  ancient  days,  when 
you  wouldn't  buy  it  made  and  ready  in  the  shops. 

Conan:  Will  you  so  much  as  go  to  find  a  towel 
would  take  the  dust  off  of  the  panes  of  glass? 

Celia:  I  wonder  at  you  craving  to  disturb  the 
spider  and  it  after  making  its  web. 

Conan:  Well,  go  sit  idle  outside.  I  wouldn't 
wish  to  be  looking  at  you!  l  Aristotle  that  said  a 
lazy  body  is  all  one  with  a  lazy  mind.  You'll  be 
begging  your  bread  through  the  world's  streets 
before  your  poll  will  be  grey. 
(Sings,) 

"You'll  dye  your  petticoat,  you'll  dye  it  red, 
And  through  the  world  you'll  beg  your  bread  ; 
And  you  not  hearkening  to  e'er  a  word  I  said, 
It's  then  you'll  know  it  to  be  true!" 

Celia:    (Sings.) 

"Come  here  my  little  birdeen!    Coo!" 

Conan:  (Putting  his  hand  on  her  mouth.)  Be 
going  out  now  in  place  of  calling  that  bird  that  is 
as  lazy  and  as  useless  as  yourself. 

Celia:    My  little  dove  !    Where  are  you  at  all  ! 

Conan:  A  cat  to  have  ate  it  would  be  no  great 
loss! 

Celia:    Did  you  yourself  do  away  with  him? 

Conan:    I  did  not. 


Aristotle's  Bellows  173 

Celia:  (Wildly  breaking  free  throws  herself 
down.}  There  is  no  place  for  him  to  be  only  in 
under  the  settle ! 

Conan:    (Dragging  at  her.}     It  is  not  there. 

Celia:  (Who  has  put  in  her  hand.)  O  what  is 
that  ?  It  has  hurt  me ! 

Conan:    A  nail  sticking  up  out  of  the  floor. 

Celia:  (Jumping  up  with  a  cry.)  It's  a  crow! 
A  great  big  wicked  black  crow ! 

Conan:    If  it  is  let  you  leave  it  there. 

Celia:  (Weeping.)  I'm  certain  sure  it  has  my 
pigeon  killed  and  ate ! 

Conan:  To  be  so  doleful  after  a  pigeon!  You 
haven't  a  stim  of  sense! 

Celia:    It  was  you  gave  it  leave  to  do  that ! 

Conan:  Stop  your  whimpering  and  blubbering ! 
What  way  can  I  settle  the  world  and  I  being 
harassed  and  hampered  with  such  a  contrary  class ! 
I  give  you  my  word  I  have  a  mind  to  change  my- 
self into  a  ravenous  beast  will  kill  and  devour  ye 
all !  That  much  would  be  no  sin  when  it  would  be 
according  to  my  nature.  (Sings  or  chants.) 

"On  Clontarf  he  like  a  lion  fell, 
Thousands  plunged  in  their  own  gore ; 
I  to  be  such  a  lion  now 
I'd  ask  for  nothing  more!" 

Celia:  (Sitting  down  miserable.)  You  are  a 
very  wicked  man ! 

Conan:    Get  up  out  of  that  or  I'll  make  you! 


174  Aristotle's  Bellows 

Celia:  I  will  not!  I'm  certain  you  did  this 
cruel  thing ! 

Conan:  (Taking  up  bellows.}  I'd  hardly  be- 
grudge one  of  my  six  blasts  to  be  quit  of  your  slow- 
ness and  your  sluggish  ways !  Rise  up  now  before 
I'll  make  you  that  you'll  want  shoes  that  will  never 
wear  out,  you  being  ever  on  the  trot  and  on  the 
run  from  morning  to  the  fall  of  night !  Start  up 
now!  I'm  on  the  bounds  of  doing  it! 

Celia:    What  are  your  raving  about  ? 

Conan:  To  get  quit  of  you  I  cannot,  but  to 
change  your  nature  I  might !  I  give  you  warning 
w  V  .  one,  two,  three! 

(Blows.*)    (Sings:  "With  a  Chirrup.")    (Air, 
"Garryowen.") 

"Let  you  rise  and  go  light  like  a  bird  of  the  air 
That   goes  high  in  its  flight  ever  seeking  its 

share ; 

Let  you  never  go  easy  or  pine  for  a  rest 
Till  you'll  be  a  world's  wonder  and  work  with  the 
best! 

With  a  chirrup,  a  chirrup,  a  chirrup, 
A  chirrup,  a  chirrup,  a  chirrup, 
A  chirrup,  a  chirrup,  a  chirrup,  a  chirrup, 
A  chirrup,  a  chirrup,  a  chirrup,  a  chirrup ! " 

Celia:  (Staring  and  standing  up.)  What  is 
that  ?  Is  it  the  wind  or  is  it  a  wisp  of  flame  that  is 
going  athrough  my  bones ! 

(Rock  and  Flannery  come  in.) 

(Celia  rushes  out.) 


Aristotle's  Bellows  175 

Rock:  (Out  of  breath.}  We  went  looking  for  a 
car  to  bring  you  to  the  train ! 

Flannery:    There  was  not  one  to  be  found. 

Rock:    But  those  that  are  too  costly ! 

Flannery:  Till  we  went  to  the  Doctor  of  the 
Union. 

Rock:  For  to  ask  a  lift  for  you  on  the 
ambulance.  .  .  . 

Flannery:  But  when  he  heard  what  we  had  to 
tell— 

Rock:  He  said  he  would  bring  you  and  glad 
to  do  it  on  his  own  car,  and  no  need  to  hansel 
him. 

Flannery:  And  welcome,  if  it  was  as  far  as  the 
grave ! 

Rock:  All  he  is  sorry  for  he  hasn't  a  horse  that 
would  rise  you  up  through  the  sky — 

Conan:  Let  him  give  me  the  lift  so — it  will  be 
a  help  to  me.  It  wasn't  only  with  his  own  hand 
Alexander  won  the  world ! 

Flannery:  Unless  you  might  give  him,  he  was 
saying,  a  blast  of  the  bellows,  that  would  change 
his  dispensary  into  a  racing  stable,  and  all  that 
come  to  be  cured  into  jockeys  and  into  grooms ! 

Conan:  What  chatterers  ye  are!  I  gave  ye 
no  leave  to  speak  of  that. 

Rock:  Ah,  it  costs  nothing  to  be  giving  out 
newses. 

Flannery:  The  world  and  all  will  be  coming  to 
the  door  to  throw  up  their  hats  for  you,  and  you 


1 76  Aristotle's  Bellows 

making  your  start,  cars  and  ass  cars,  jennets  and 
traps.     (Sings.) 

"O  Bay  of  Dublin,  how  my  heart  your  troublin', 
Your  beauty  haunts  me  like  a  fever  dream; 
Like  frozen  fountains  that  the  sun  set  bubblin' 
My  heart's  blood  warms  when  I  but  hear  your 
name!" 

Conan:  It's  my  death  I'll  come  to  in  Dublin. 
That  news  to  get  there  ahead  of  me  I'll  be  pressed 
in  the  throng  as  thin  as  a  griddle. 

Flannery:  So  you  might  be,  too.  All  I  have 
that  might  protect  you  I  offer  free,  and  that's  this 
good  umbrella  that  was  given  to  me  in  a  rainstorm 
by  a  priest.  (Holds  it  out.) 

Rock:  And  what  do  you  say  to  me  giving  you 
the  loan  of  your  charges  for  the  road  ? 

Conan:  Come  in  here,  Maryanne!  and  give  a 
glass  to  these  honest  men  till  they'll  wish  me  good 
luck  upon  my  journey,  as  it's  much  I'll  need  it, 
with  the  weight  of  all  I  have  to  do. 

Mother:  (Coming  in.)  So  I  will,  so  I  will  and 
welcome  .  .  .  but  that  I  disremember  where  did 
I  put  the  key  of  the  chest. 

Conan:  I'll  engage  you  do!  There  it  is  before 
you  in  the  lock  since  ere  yesterday.  (Mother  puts 
bottle  and  glasses  on  table.) 

Flannery:  (Lifting  glass.)  That  you  may 
bring  great  good  to  Ireland  and  to  the  world ! 

Rock:    Here's  your  good  health ! 


Aristotle's  Bellows  177 

Conan:    I'm  obliged  to  you! 
Rock  and  Planner y:  (Sing.}  (Air,  "The  Cruiskeen 
Idn.") 

"Gramachree  ma  cruiskeen  Slainte  geal  mavour- 
neen, 

Gramachree  a  cool-in  bawn,  bawn,  bawn,  ban- 
ban-ban, 

Oh,  Gra-ma-chree  a  cool-in  bawn." 

(They  nod  as  they  finish  and  take  out  their 
pipes  and  sit  down.   A  banging  is  heard. ) 
Conan:    What  disturbance  is  that  ? 

Celia  comes  in,  her  hair  screwed  up  tight, 
skirt  tucked  up,   is  carrying  a  pail, 
brush,  cloth,  etc.,  lets  them  drop  and 
proceeds  to  fasten  up  skirt.) 
Mother:    Ah,  Celia,  what  is  on  you?     I  never 
saw  you  that  way  before. 

Conan:  Ha !  Very  good !  I  think  that  you  will 
say  there  is  a  great  change  come  upon  her,  and  a 
right  change. 

Celia:    Look  now  at  the  floor  the  way  it  is. 
Mother:    I  see  no  other  way  but  the  way  it  is 
always. 

Celia:  There's  a  bit  of  soot  after  falling  down 
the  chimney.  (Picks  up  tongs.) 

Mother:    Ah,  leave  it  now,  dear,  a  while. 
Celia:    Anything  has  to  be  done,  the  quickest 
way  to  do  it  is  the  best.     (Having  taken  up  soot, 
flings  down  tongs.) 


178  Aristotle's  Bellows 

Conan:  Listen  to  that!  Now  am  I  able  to 
work  wonders? 

Rock:    It  is  that  you  have  spent  on  her  a  blast  ? 

Conan:    If  I  did  it  was  well  spent. 

Planner y:  I'm  in  dread  you  have  been  robbing 
the  poor. 

Rock:  It  is  myself  you  have  robbed  doing  that. 
You  have  no  call  to  be  using  those  blasts  for  your 
own  profit ! 

Conan:  I  have  every  right  to  bring  order  in 
my  own  dwelling  before  I  can  do  any  other  thing ! 

Celia:  All  the  dust  of  the  world's  roads  is 
gathered  in  this  kitchen.  The  whole  place  ate 
with  filth  and  dirt. 

(Begins  to  sweep.) 

Conan:    Ah,  you  needn't  hardly  go  as  far  as  that. 

Celia:  Anything  that  is  worth  doing  is  worth 
doing  well.  (To  Rock.)  Look  now  at  the  marks 
of  your  boots  upon  the  ground.  Get  up  out  of 
that  till  I'll  bustle  it  with  the  broom! 

Rock:  (Getting  up.)  There  is  a  change  indeed 
and  a  queer  change.  Where  she  used  to  be  sing- 
ing she  is  screeching  the  same  as  a  slate  where 
you'd  be  casting  sums! 

Celia:  (To  Flannery.)  What's  that  I  see  in 
under  your  chair?  Rise  up.  (He  gets  up.)  It's 
a  pin!  (Sticks  it  inker  dress.)  Everything  in  its 
right  place!  (Goes  on  flicking  at  the  furniture.) 

Mother:  Leave  now  knocking  the  furniture  to 
flitters. 


Aristotle's  Bellows  179 

Celia:  I  will  not,  till  I'll  free  it  from  the  dust 
and  dander  of  the  year. 

Mother:    That'll  do  now.     I  see  no  dust. 

Celia:  You'll  see  it  presently.  (Sweeps  up  a 
cloud.} 

Mother:    Let  you  speak  to  her,  Conan. 

Conan:  Leave  now  buzzing  and  banging  about 
the  room  the  same  as  a  fly  without  a  head ! 

Celia:  Never  put  off  till  to-morrow  what  you 
can  do  to-day. 

Conan:  I  tell  you  I  have  things  to  settle  and 
to  say  before  the  car  will  come  that  is  to  bring  me 
on  my  road  to  Dublin. 

Celia:  (Stopping  short.)  Is  it  that  you  are 
going  to  Dublin  ? 

Conan:    I  am,  and  within  the  hour. 

Celia:    Pull  off  those  boots  from  your  feet ! 

Conan:    I  will  not!  Let  you  leave  my  boots  alone! 

Celia:  You  are  not  going  out  of  the  house  with 
that  slovenly  appearance  on  you !  To  have  it  said 
out  in  Dublin  that  you  are  a  class  of  man  never  has 
clean  boots  but  of  a  Sunday ! 

Conan:  They'll  do  well  enough  without  you 
meddling ! 

Celia:    Clean  them  yourself  so!     (Gives  him  a 
rag  and  blacking  and  goes  on  dusting.) 
(Sings.)     (Air,  "City  oj  Sligo. ") 

"We  may  tramp  the  earth 
For  all  that  we're  worth, 


i8o  Aristotle's  Bellows 

But  what  odds  where  you  and  I  go, 

We  never  shall  meet 

A  spot  so  sweet 

As  the  beautiful  city  of  Sligo." 

Conan:  What  ailed  me  that  I  didn't  leave  her 
as  she  was  before. 

Celia:  (Stopping  work.)  What  way  are  they 
now? 

Conan;  (Having  cleaned  his  boots,  putting  them 
on  hurriedly.)  They're  very  good.  (Wipes  his 
brow,  drawing  hand  across  leaving  mark  of  blacking.) 

Celia:  The  time  I  told  you  to  put  black  on 
your  shoes  I  didn't  bid  you  rub  it  upon  your  brow ! 

Conan:    I  didn't  put  it  in  any  wrong  place. 

Celia:  I  ask  the  whole  of  you,  is  it  black  his  face 
is  or  white? 

All:    It  is  black  indeed. 

Celia:  Would  you  put  a  reproach  on  the  whole 
of  the  barony,  going  up  among  big  citizens  with  a 
face  on  you  the  like  of  that  ? 

Conan:  I'll  do  well  enough.  There  will  be 
the  black  of  the  smoke  from  the  engine  on  it  any 
way,  and  I  after  journeying  in  the  train. 

Celia:    You  will  not  go  be  a  disgrace  to  me. 

Conan:  If  it  is  black  it  is  yourself  forced  me 
to  it. 

Celia:  If  I  did  I'll  make  up  for  it,  putting  a 
clean  face  upon  you  now.  (Dips  towel  in  pail  and 
sings  ' '  With  a  fillip ' ' — air,  ' '  Garryowen ' ' — as  she 
washes  him.) 


Aristotle's  Bellows  181 

"  Bring  to  mind  how  the  thrush  gathers  twigs  for 

his  nest 

And  the  honey  bee  toils  without  ever  a  rest 
And  the  fishes  swim  ever  to  keep  themselves  clean, 
And  you'll  praise  me  for  making  you  fit  to  be  seen ! 
With  a  fillip,  a  fillip,  a  fillip. 
A  fillip,  a  fillip,  a  fillip. 
A  fillip,  a  fillip,  a  fillip,  a  fillip, 
A  fillip,  a  fillip,  a  fillip,  a  fillip!" 

Conan:  Let  me  go,  will  you!  Let  you  stop! 
The  soap  that  is  going  into  my  eye ! 

Celia:  My  grief  you  are !  Let  you  be  willing 
to  suffer,  so  long  as  you  will  be  tasty  and  decent 
and  be  a  credit  to  ourselves. 

Conan:    The  suds  are  in  my  mouth ! 

Celia:  One  minute  now  and  you'll  be  as  clean 
as  a  bishop ! 

Conan:    Let  me  go,  can't  you! 

Celia:    Only  one  thing  wanting  now. 

Conan:    I'm  good  enough,  I  tell  you! 

Celia:  To  cut  the  wisp  from  the  back  of  your 
poll. 

Conan:    You  will  not  cut  it ! 

Celia:  And  you'll  go  into  the  grandeurs  of 
Dublin  and  you  being  as  neat  as  an  egg. 

Conan:  (With  a  roar.}  Leave  meddling  with 
my  hair.  I  that  can  change  the  world  with  one 
turn  of  my  hand! 

Celia:  Wait  till  I'll  find  the  scissors!  That's 
not  the  way  to  be  going  showing  off  in  the 


182  Aristotle's  Bellows 

town,  if  you  were  all  the  saints  and  Druids  of  the 
universe ! 

Conan:  (Breaking  free  and  rushing  out.')  My 
seven  thousand  curses  on  the  minute  when  I  didn't 
leave  you  as  you  were.  (Goes.) 

Celia:  (Looking  at  Mother.)  There's  meal  on 
your  dress  from  the  cake  you're  after  putting  in 
the  oven — where  now  did  that  bellows  fall  from? 
(Taking  up  bellows.)  It  comes  as  handy  as  a 
gimlet.  There  (blows  the  meal  off),  that  now  will 
make  a  big  difference  in  you. 

Rock:  (Seizing  bellows.)  Leave  now  that  down 
out  of  your  hand.  Let  you  go  looking  for  a 
scissors ! 

(Celia  goes  off  singing  "The  Beautiful  City 
ofSligo.") 

Mother:  (Sitting  down.)  I'm  thinking  it's 
seven  years  to-day,  James  Rock,  since  you  took  a 
lend  of  my  clock. 

Rock:  You're  raving !  What  call  would  I  have 
to  ask  a  lend  of  your  clock? 

Mother:  The  way  you  would  rise  in  time  for 
the  fair  of  Feakle  in  the  morning. 

Rock:    Did  I  now? 

Mother:  You  did,  and  that's  my  truth.  I  was 
standing  here,  and  you  were  standing  there,  and 
Celia  that  was  but  ten  years  was  sucking  the  sugar 
off  a  spoon  I  was  after  putting  in  a  bag  that  had 
come  from  the  shop,  for  to  put  a  grain  into  my 
tea. 


Aristotle's  Bellows  183 

Rock:  (Sneering.)  Well  now,  didn't  your  mem- 
ory get  very  sharp ! 

Mother:  You  thought  I  had  it  forgot,  but  I  re- 
member it  as  clear  as  pictures.  The  time  it  stood 
at  was  seven  minutes  after  four  o'clock,  and  I 
never  saw  it  from  that  day  till  now.  This  very 
day  of  the  month  it  was,  the  year  of  the  black 
sheep  having  twins. 

Rock:    It  was  but  an  old  clock  anyway. 

Mother:  If  it  was  it  is  seven  years  older  since 
I  laid  an  eye  on  it.  And  it's  kind  father  for  you 
robbing  me,  where  it's  often  you  robbed  your  own 
mother,  and  you  stealing  away  to  go  cardplaying 
the  half  crowns  she  had  hid  in  the  churn. 

Rock:  Didn't  you  get  very  wicked  and  hurtful, 
you  that  was  a  nice  class  of  a  woman  without  no 
harm! 

Flannery:  Ah,  Ma'am,  you  that  was  easy- 
minded,  it  is  not  kind  for  you  to  be  a  scold. 

Mother:  And  another  thing,  it  was  the  same 
day  where  Michael  Flannery  (turns  to  him)  came  in 
an'  told  me  of  you  being  grown  so  covetous  you 
had  made  away  with  your  dog,  by  reason  you 
begrudged  it  its  diet. 

Rock:  (To  Flannery.)  You  had  a  great  deal 
to  say  about  me! 

Mother:  And  more  than  that  again,  he  said 
you  had  it  buried  secretly,  and  had  it  personated, 
creeping  around  the  haggard  in  the  half  dark 
and  you  barking,  the  way  the  neighbours  would 


184  Aristotle's  Bellows 

think  it  to  be  living  yet  and  as  wicked  as  it  was 
before. 

Rock:  (To  Flannery.)  I'll  bring  you  into  the 
Courts  for  telling  lies ! 

Mother:  (Coming  near  Rock  and  speaking  into 
his  ear.)  And  there's  another  thing  I  know,  and 
that  I  made  a  promise  to  her  that  was  your  wife 
not  to  tell,  but  death  has  that  promise  broke. 

Rock:    Stop,  can't  you ! 

Mother:  I  know  by  sure  witness  that  it  was 
you  found  the  forty  pound  he  (points  to  Flannery 
who  nods)  lost  on  the  road,  and  kept  it  for  your 
own  profit.  Bring  me  now,  I  dare  you,  into  the 
Courts ! 

Rock:  (Fearfully.)  That  one  would  remember 
the  world!  It  is  as  if  she  went  to  the  grinding 
young ! 

(Conan' s  voice  heard.    Singing:  "Let  me  be 
merry"  in  a  melancholy  voice.) 

"If  sadly  thinking  with  spirits  sinking 
Could  more  than  drinking  my  cares  compose, 
A  cure  for  to-morrow  from  sighs  I'd  borrow, 
And  hope  to-morrow  would  end  my  woes. 
But  as  in  wailing  there's  nought  availing, 
And  Death  unfailing  will  strike  the  blow, 
Then  for  that  reason  and  for  a  season, 
Let  us  be  merry  before  we  go!" 

Mother:    It  is  Conan  will  near  lose  his  wits 
with  joy  when  he  knows  what  is  come  back  to  me ! 
Conan:    (Peeping  in.)     IsCeliagone? 


Aristotle's  Bellows  185 

Flannery:    She  is,  Conan. 

Conan:  It's  a  queer  thing  with  women.  If 
you'll  turn  them  from  one  road  it's  likely  they'll 
go  into  another  that  is  worse  again. 

Rock:  That  is  so  indeed.  There  is  Celia's 
mother  that  is  running  telling  lies,  and  leaving  a 
heavy  word  upon  a  neighbour. 

Mother:  I'll  give  my  promise  not  to  tell  it  out 
in  Court  if  he  will  give  to  poor  Michael  Flannery 
what  is  due  to  him,  and  that  is  the  whole  of  what 
he  has  in  his  bag ! 

Conan:  (Laughing  scornfully.)  Sure  she  has  no 
memory  at  all.  It  fails  her  to  remember  that  two 
and  two  makes  four. 

Mother:  You  think  that?  Well,  listen  now  to 
me.  Two  and  two  is  it  ?  No,  nine  times  two  that 
is  eighteen  and  nine  times  three  twenty-seven, 
nine  times  four  thirty-six,  nine  times  five  forty- 
five,  nine  times  six  fifty-four,  nine  times  seven 
sixty-three,  nine  times  eight  seventy-two,  nine 
times  nine  eighty-one.  .  .  .  Yes  and  eleven 
times,  and  any  times  that  you  will  put  before  me! 

Conan:    That's  enough,  that's  enough ! 

Mother:  Ha,  ha!  You  giving  out  that  I  can 
keep  no  knowledge  in  mind  and  no  learning,  when 
I  should  sit  on  the  chapel  roof  to  have  enough  of 
slates  for  all  I  can  cast  up  of  sums!  Multiplica- 
tion, Addition,  Subtraction,  and  the  rule  of 
three ! 

Conan:    Whist  your  tongue ! 


i86  Aristotle's  Bellows 

Mother:  Is  it  the  verses  of  Raftery's  talk  into 
the  Bush  you  would  wish  me  to  give  out,  or  the 
three  hundred  and  sixty-nine  verses  of  the  Con- 
tention of  the  Bards — (Repeats  verse  of  "The  Talk 
with  the  Bush"  in  Irish). 

"Cead  agus  mile  roimh  am  na  h-Airce 
Tus  agus  crothugadh  m'aois  agus  mo  dhata 
Tha  me  o  shoin  im'  shuidhe  san  ait  so 
Agus  is  iomdha  sgeal  a  bhfeadain  tracht  air." 

Or  I'll  English  it  if  that  will  please  you: 

"A  hundred  years  and  a  thousand  before  the  time 

of  the  Ark 
Was  the  beginning  and  creation  of  my  age  and 

my  date; 

I  am  from  that  time  sitting  in  this  place, 
And  it's  many  a  story  I  am  able  to  give  news  of." 

Conan:  (Putting  hands  to  ears  and  walking 
away.)  I  am  thinking  your  mind  got  unsettled 
with  the  weight  of  years. 

Mother:  (Following  him.)  No,  but  your  own 
that  got  scattered  from  the  time  you  ran  barefoot 
carrying  worms  in  a  tin  can  for  that  Professor  of  a 
Collegian  that  went  fishing  in  the  stream,  and  that 
you  followed  after  till  you  got  to  think  yourself  a 
lamp  of  light  for  the  universe ! 

Conan:  Will  you  stop  deafening  the  whole 
world  with  your  babble ! 

Mother:    There  was  always  a  bad  drop  in  you 


Aristotle's  Bellows  187 

that  attached  to  you  out  of  the  grandfather.  What 
did  your  languages  do  for  you  but  to  sharpen 
your  tongue,  till  the  scrape  of  it  would  take  the 
skin  off,  the  same  as  a  cat !  My  blessing  on  you, 
Conan,  but  my  curse  upon  your  mouth ! 

Conan:    Oh,  will  you  stop  your  chat ! 

Mother:  Every  word  you  speak  having  in  it 
the  sting  of  a  bee  that  was  made  out  of  the  curses 
of  a  saint ! 

Conan:    Stop  your  gibberish ! 

Mother:    Are  you  satisfied  now? 

Conan:    I'm  not  satisfied! 

Mother:  And  never  will  be,  for  you  were  ever 
and  always  a  fault-finder  and  full  of  crossness 
from  the  day  that  you  were  small  suited. 

Conan:    You  remember  that,  too? 

Mother:    I  do  well ! 

Conan:  Where  is  the  bellows?  Was  it  you 
(to  Flannery)  that  blew  a  blast  on  her? 

Planner y:    It  was  not. 

Conan:    Or  you? 

Rock:    It's  long  sorry  I'd  be  to  do  such  a  thing ! 

Conan:  It  is  certain  someone  did  it  on  her. 
Where  now  is  it  ? 

Mother:  (Seizing  him.)  And  I  remember  the 
day  you  threw  out  your  mug  of  milk  into  the  street, 
by  reason,  says  you,  you  didn't  like  the  colour  of 
the  cow  that  gave  it ! 

Conan:  Will  you  stop  ripping  up  little  annoy- 
ances, till  I'll  find  the  bellows! 


1 88  Aristotle's  Bellows 

Rock:  It's  what  I'm  thinking,  her  memory  will 
soon  be  back  at  the  far  side  of  Solomon's  Temple. 

Mother:  (Repeats  in  Irish.}  Agus  is  iomdha 
sgeal  a  bhf  eadain  tracht  air ! 

Conan:  (Shouting.}  Is  it  that  you'll  drive  the 
seven  senses  out  of  me ! 

Mother:  Is  it  that  you  begrudge  me  my  recol- 
lection? Ha!  I  have  it  in  spite  of  you.  (Sings.} 

"Of  tin  the  stilly  night 
Ere  slumber's  chain  hath  bound  me 
Fond  memory  brings  the  light 
Of  other  days  around  me. 
The  smiles,  the  tears,  of  childhood's  years, 
The  words  of  love  then  spoken — 
The  eyes  that  shone,  now  dimmed  and  gone, 
The  cheerful  hearts  now  broken. 

Thus  in  the  stilly  night — ere  slumber's  chain 

hath  bound  me 
Fond  memory  brings  the  light 
Of  other  days  around  me!" 

Celia:     (Bursting  in.}     Where  is  Conan  ? 
Conan:    What  do  you  want  of  me? 
Celia:    I  have  got  the  hair  brush. 
Conan:    Let  you  not  come  near  me ! 
Celia:    And  the  comb ! 
Conan:    Get  away  from  me ! 
Celia:    And  the  scissors. 

Conan:  Will  you  drive  me  out  of  the  house  or 
will  I  drive  you  out  of  it ! 


Aristotle's  Bellows  189 

Celia:    Ah,  be  easy! 

Conan:    I  will  not  be  easy! 

Celia:    (Pushing  him  back  in  a  chair.)     It  will 
delight  the  world  to  see  the  way  I'll  send  you  out ! 

Conan:    Is  the  universe  gone  distracted  mad ! 

Celia:    Be  quiet  now! 

Conan:    Leave  your  hold  of  me! 

Celia:    One  stir,  and  the  scissors  will  run  into 
you! 

(Sings ' '  With  a  snippet,  a  snippet,  a  snippet.") 


CURTAIN 


ACT  III 


191 


ACT  III 

The  two  Cats  are  looking  over  the  settle. 
Music  behind  scene:  "0  Johnny,  I  hardly  knew 
you!" 

ist  Cat:  We  did  well  leaving  the  bellows  for 
that  foolish  Human  to  see  what  he  can  do.  There 
is  great  sport  before  us  and  behind. 

2nd  Cat:  The  best  I  ever  saw  since  the  Jesters 
went  out  from  Tara. 

ist  Cat:  They  to  be  giving  themselves  high 
notions  and  to  be  looking  down  on  Cats ! 

2nd  Cat:  Ha,  Ha,  Ha,  the  folly  and  the  crazi- 
ness  of  men !  To  see  him  changing  them  from  one 
thing  to  the  next,  as  if  they  wouldn't  be  a  two- 
legged  laughing  stock  whatever  way  they  would 
change. 

ist  Cat:  There's  apt  to  be  more  changes  yet 
till  they  will  hardly  know  one  another,  or  every 
other  one,  to  be  himself !  (Sings.} 

"Where  are  your  eyes  that  looked  so  mild, 

Hurroo !    Hurroo ! 

Where  are  your  eyes  that  looked  so  mild 
When  my  poor  heart  you  first  beguiled, 
Why  did  you  run  from  me  and  the  child  ? 
O  Johnny,  I  hardly  knew  you ! 

13  I93 


194  Aristotle's  Bellows 

"With  drums  and  guns  and  guns  and  drums, 
The  enemy  nearly  slew  you ! 
My  darling  dear  you  look  so  queer, 
O  Johnny,  I  hardly  knew  you ! 

"Where  are  the  legs  with  which  you  run, 
When  you  went  to  carry  a  gun. 
Indeed  your  dancing  days  are  done, 

O  Johnny,  I  hardly  knew  you!" 

(Timothy  and  Mother  come  in  from  opposite 
doors.  Cats  disappear — music  still  heard 
faintly.)  ^ 

Mother:  (Looking  at  little  bellows  in  her  hand.) 
Do  you  know  That  what  it  is,  Timothy? 

Timothy:  Is  it  now  a  hand-bellows?  It's  long 
since  I  seen  the  like  of  that. 

Mother:    It  is,  but  what  bellows? 

Timothy:  Not  a  bellows?  I'd  nearly  say  it  to 
be  one. 

Mother:    There  has  strange  things  come  to  pass. 

Timothy:  That's  what  we've  all  been  praying 
for  this  long  time ! 

Mother:  Ah,  can't  you  give  attention  and  strive 
to  listen  to  me.  It  is  all  coming  back  to  my  mind. 
All  the  things  I  am  remembering  have  my  mind 
tattered  and  tossed. 

Timothy:  (Who  has  been  trying  to  hear  the 
music,  sings  a  verse.) 

"You  haven't  an  arm  and  you  haven't  a  leg, 
Hurroo !    Hurroo ! 


Aristotle's  Bellows  195 

You're  a  yellow  noseless  chickenless  egg, 
You'll  have  to  put  up  with  a  bowl  to  beg. 

O  Johnny,  I  hardly  knew  you!     (Music 
ceases.) 

Mother:  Will  you  give  attention,  I  say!  It 
will  be  worth  while  for  you  to  go  chat  with  me  now 
I  can  be  telling  you  all  that  happened  in  my  years 
gone  by.  What  was  it  Conan  was  questioning  me 
about  a  while  ago?  What  was  it  now.  .  m.-\\\. 

"Aristotle  in  the  hour 
He  left  Ireland  left  a  power!"  .   .   . 

Timothy:  That  now  is  a  very  nice  sort  of  a 
little  prayer. 

Mother:  (Calling  out.)  That's  it!  Aristotle's 
Bellows!  I  know  now  what  has  happened.  This  that 
is  in  my  hand  has  in  it  the  power  to  make  changes. 
Changes!  Didn't  great  changes  come  in  the 
house  to-day!  (Shouts.)  Did  you  see  any  great 
change  in  Celia? 

Timothy:  Why  wouldn't  I,  and  she  at  this 
minute  fighting  and  barging  at  some  poor  travel- 
ling man,  saying  he  laid  a  finger  mark  of  bacon- 
grease  upon  the  lintel  of  the  door.  Driving  him 
off  with  a  broken-toothed  rake  she  is,  she  that 
was  so  gentle  that  she  wouldn't  hardly  pluck  the 
feathers  of  a  dead  duck ! 

Mother:  It  was  surely  a  blast  of  this  worked 
that  change  in  her,  as  the  blast  she  blew  upon  me 
worked  a  change  in  myself.  O !  all  the  thoughts 


196  Aristotle's  Bellows 

and  memories  that  are  thronging  in  my  mind  and 
in  my  head !     Rushing  up  within  me  the  same  as 
chaff  from  the  flail!    Songs  and  stories  and  the 
newses  I  heard  through  the  whole  course  of  my 
lifetime !    And  I  having  no  person  to  tell  them  out 
to!    Do  you  hear  me  what  I'm  saying,  Timothy? 
(Shouts  in  his  ear.)    What  is  come  back  to  me  is 
what  I  lost  so  long  ago,  my  MEMORY. 
Timothy:    So  it  is  a  very  good  song. 
(Sings.) 

"By  Memory  inspired,  and  love  of  glory  fired, 
The  deeds  of  men  I  love  to  dwell  upon, 
And  the  sympathetic  glow  of  my  spirit  must 

bestow 
On  the  memory  of  Mitchell  that  is  gone,  boys, 

gone — 
The  memory  of  Mitchell  that  is  gone!" 

Mother:  Thoughts  crowding  on  one  another, 
mixing  themselves  up  with  one  another  for  the  want 
of  sifting  and  settling !  They'll  have  me  distracted 
and  I  not  able  to  speak  them  out  to  some  person ! 
Conan  as  surly  as  a  bramble  bush,  and  Celia 
wrapped  up  in  her  bucket  and  her  broom!  And 
yourself  not  able  to  hear  one  word  I  say.  (Sobs, 
and  bellows  falls  from  her  hands.) 

Timothy:  I'll  lay  it  down  now  out  of  your  way, 
ma'am,  the  way  you  can  cry  your  fill  whatever 
ails  you. 

Mother:    (Snatching  it  back.)    Stop!    I'll  not 


Aristotle's  Bellows  197 

part  with  it !  I  know  now  what  I  can  do !  Now ! 
(Points  it  at  him.}  I'll  make  a  companion  to  be 
listening  to  me  through  the  long  winter  nights  and 
the  long  summer  days,  and  the  world  to  be  with- 
out any  end  at  all,  no  more  than  the  round  of  the 
full  moon!  You  that  have  no  hearing,  this  will 
bring  back  your  hearing,  the  way  you'll  be  a 
listener  and  a  benefit  to  myself  for  ever.  I 
wouldn't  feel  the  weeks  long  that  time ! 

(Blows.  Timothy  turns  away  and  gropes 
toward  wall.) 

(She  sings:  Air,  "Eileen  Aroon. ") 

"What  if  the  days  go  wrong, 
When  you  can  hear ! 
What  if  the  evening's  long, 
You  being  near, 
I'll  tell  my  troubles  out, 
Put  darkness  to  the  rout 
And  to  the  roundabout ! 
Having  your  ear!" 

(Rock  at  door:  sneezes.  Mother  drops  bel- 
lows and  goes.  Timothy  gives  a  cry, 
claps  hands  to  ears  and  rushes  out  as  if 
terrified.) 

Rock:  (Coming  in  seizes  bellows.)  Well  now, 
didn't  this  turn  to  be  very  lucky  and  very  good! 
The  very  thing  I  came  looking  for  to  be  left  there 
under  my  hands !  (Puts  it  hurriedly  under  coat.) 

Flannery:  (Coming  in.)  What  are  you  doing 
here,  James  Rock? 


i98  Aristotle's  Bellows 

Rock:    What  are  you  doing  yourself? 

Flannery:    What  is  that  in  under  your  coat  ? 

Rock:    What's  that  to  you? 

Flannery:    I'll  know  that  when  I  see  it. 

Rock:    What  call  have  you  to  be  questioning  me  ? 

Flannery:    Open  now  your  coat ! 

Rock:    Stand  out  of  my  way ! 

Flannery:  (Suddenly  tearing  open  coat  and 
seizing  bellows.)  Did  you  think  it  was  unknownst 
to  me  you  stole  the  bellows? 

Rock:    Ah,  what  steal? 

Flannery:    Put  it  back  in  the  place  it  was ' 

Rock:    I  will  within  three  minutes. 

Flannery:    You'll  put  it  back  here  and  now. 

Rock:  (Coaxingly.)  Look  at  here  now,  Michael 
Flannery,  we'll  make  a  league  between  us.  Did 
you  ever  see  such  folly  as  we're  after  seeing  to-day? 
Sitting  there  for  an  hour  and  a  half  till  that  one 
settled  the  world  upside  down ! 

Flannery:  If  I  did  see  folly,  what  I  see  now  is 
treachery. 

Rock:  Didn't  you  take  notice  of  the  way  that 
foolish  old  man  is  wasting  and  losing  what  was 
given  him  for  to  benefit  mankind  ?  A  blast  he  has 
lost  turning  a  pigeon  to  a  crow,  as  if  there  wasn't 
enough  in  it  before  of  that  tribe  picking  the  spuds 
out  of  the  ridges.  And  another  blast  he  has  lost 
turning  poor  Celia,  that  was  harmless,  to  be  a  holy 
terror  of  cleanness  and  a  scold. 

Flannery:    Indeed,  he'd  as  well  have  left  her 


Aristotle's  Bellows  199 

as  she  was.     There  was  something  very  pleasing 
in  her  little  sleepy  ways. 
(Sings.) 

"But  sad  it  is  to  see  you  so 
And  to  think  of  you  now  as  an  object  of  woe; 
Your  Peggy'll  still  keep  an  eye  on  her  beau. 
O  Johnny,  I  hardly  knew  you!" 

Rock:  Bringing  back  to  the  memory  of  his 
mother  every  old  grief  and  rancour.  She  that  has 
a  right  to  be  making  her  peace  with  the  grave ! 

Ftannery:  Indeed  it  seems  he  doesn't  mind 
what  he'll  get  so  long  as  it's  something  that  he 
wants. 

Rock:  Three  blasts  gone!  And  the  world 
didn't  begin  to  be  cured. 

Flannery:  Sure  enough  he  gave  the  bellows  no 
fair  play. 

Rock:  He  has  us  made  a  fool  of.  He  using  it 
the  way  he  did,  he  has  us  robbed. 

Flannery:  There's  power  in  the  four  blasts 
left  would  bring  peace  and  piety  and  prosperity 
and  plenty  to  every  one  of  the  four  provinces  of 
Ireland. 

Rock:  That's  it.  There's  no  doubt  but  I'll 
make  a  better  use  of  it  than  him,  because  I  am  a 
better  man  than  himself. 

Flannery:  I  don't  know.  You  might  not  get 
so  much  respect  in  Dublin. 

Rock:    Dublin,  where  are  you!    What  would 


200  Aristotle's  Bellows 

I'd  do  going  to  Dublin?  Did  you  never  hear  said 
the  skin  to  be  nearer  than  the  shirt  ? 

Flannery:    What  do  you  mean  saying  that? 

Rock:  The  first  one  I  have  to  do  good  to  is 
myself. 

Flannery:  Is  it  that  you  would  grab  the  benefit 
of  the  bellows? 

Rock:  In  troth  I  will.  I've  got  a  hold  of  it,  and 
by  cripes  I'll  knock  a  good  turn  out  of  it. 

Flannery:  To  rob  the  country  and  the  poor  for 
your  own  profit?  You  are  a  class  of  man  that  is 
gathering  all  for  himself. 

Rock:  It  is  not  worth  while  we  to  fall  out  of 
friendship.  I  will  use  but  the  one  blast. 

Flannery:  You  have  no  right  or  call  to  meddle 
with  it. 

Rock:  The  first  thing  I  will  meddle  with  is  my 
own  rick  of  turf.  And  I'll  give  you  leave  to  go  do 
the  same  with  your  own  umbrella,  or  whatever 
property  you  may  own. 

Flannery:  Sooner  than  be  covetous  like  your- 
self I'd  live  and  and  die  in  a  ditch,  and  be  buried 
from  the  Poorhouse ! 

Rock:  Turf  being  black  and  light  in  the  hand, 
and  gold  being  shiny  and  weighty,  there  will  be 
no  delay  in  turning  every  sod  into  a  solid  brick  of 
gold.  I  give  you  leave  to  do  the  same  thing,  and 
we'll  be  two  rich  men  inside  a  half  an  hour! 

Flannery:  You  are  no  less  than  a  thief! 
(Snatches  at  bellows.} 


Aristotle's  Bellows  201 

Rock:  Thief  yourself.  Leave  your  hand  off 
it! 

Flannery:  Give  it  up  here  for  the  man  that 
owns  it ! 

Rock:  You  may  set  your  coffin  making  for  I'll 
beat  you  to  the  ground. 

Flannery:  (As  Tie  clutches.}  Ah,  you  have 
given  it  a  shove.  It  has  blown  a  blast  on  your- 
self! 

Rock:  Yourself  that  blew  it  on  me!  Bad  cess 
to  you!  But  I'll  do  the  same  bad  turn  upon  you! 
(Blows.) 

Flannery:  There  is  some  footstep  without. 
Heave  it  in  under  the  ashes. 

Rock:  Whist  your  tongue!  (Flings  bellows 
behind  hearth.) 

(Conan  comes  in.) 

Conan:  With  all  the  chattering  of  women  I 
have  the  train  near  lost.  The  car  is  coming 
for  me  and  I'll  make  no  delay  now  but  to  set 
out. 

(Sings.) 

"Oh  the  French  are  on  the  sea, 

Says  the  Sean  Van  Vocht, 
Oh  the  French  are  on  the  sea, 

Says  the  Sean  Van  Vocht, 
Oh  the  French  are  in  the  bay, 

They'll  be  here  without  delay, 
And  the  Orange  will  decay, 

Says  the  Sean  Van  Vocht!" 


202  Aristotle's  Bellows 

Here  now  is  my  little  pack.  You  were  saying, 
Thomas  Flannery,  you  would  be  lending  me  the 
loan  of  your  umbrella. 

Flannery:  Ah,  what  umbrella?  There's  no  fear 
of  rain. 

Conan:  (Taking  it.)  You  to  have  proffered  it 
I  would  not  refuse  it. 

Flannery:  (Seizing  it.)  I  don't  know.  I  have 
to  mind  my  own  property.  It  might  not  serve 
it  to  be  loaning  it  to  this  one  and  that.  It  might 
leave  the  ribs  of  it  bare. 

Conan:  That's  the  way  with  the  whole  of  ye.  I 
to  give  you  my  heart's  blood  you'd  turn  me  upside 
down  for  a  pint  of  porter ! 

Flannery:  I  see  no  sense  or  charity  in  lending  to 
another  anything  that  might  be  of  profit  to  myself. 

Conan:  Let  you  keep  it  so !  That  your  ribs  may 
be  as  bare  as  its  own  ribs  that  are  bursting  out 
through  the  cloth ! 

Rock:  Do  not  give  heed  to  him,  Conan.  There 
is  in  this  bag  (takes  it  out)  what  will  bring  you  every 
whole  thing  you  might  be  wanting  in  the  town. 
(Takes  out  notes  and  gold  and  gives  them.) 

Conan:  It  is  only  a  small  share  I'll  ask  the  lend 
of. 

Rock:    The  lend  of !    No,  but  a  free  gift ! 

Conan:  Well  now,  aren't  you  turned  to  be  very 
kind  ?  ( Takes  notes.) 

Rock:  Put  that  back  in  the  bag.  Here  it  is,  the 
whole  of  it.  Five  and  fifty  pounds.  Take  it 


Aristotle's  Bellows  203 

and  welcome !  It  is  yourself  will  make  a  good  use 
of  it  laying  it  out  upon  the  needy  and  the  poor. 
Changing  all  for  their  benefit  and  their  good !  Oh, 
since  St.  Bridget  spread  her  cloak  upon  the 
Curragh  this  is  the  most  day  and  the  happiest  day 
ever  came  to  Ireland. 

Conan:  (Giving  bag  to  Flannery.)  Take  it  you, 
as  is  your  due  by  what  the  mother  said  a  while  ago 
about  the  robbery  he  did  on  you  in  the  time  past. 

Flannery:  Give  it  here  to  me.  I'll  engage  I'll 
keep  a  good  grip  on  it  from  this  out.  It's  long 
before  any  other  one  will  get  a  one  look  at  it ! 

Conan:  There  would  seem  to  be  a  great  change 
—and  a  sudden  change  come  upon  the  two  of  ye. 
.  .  .  (With  a  roar.)  Where  now  is  the  bellows? 

Flannery:  (Sulkily.)  What  way  would  I 
know? 

Conan:  (Shaking  him.)  1  know  well  what 
happened !  It  is  ye  have  stolen  two  of  my  blasts ! 
Putting  changes  on  yourselves  ye  would — much 
good  may  it  do  ye —  Thieving  with  your  covet- 
ousness  the  last  two  nearly  I  had  left ! 

Rock:  (Sulkily.)  Leave  your  hand  off  me!  I 
never  stole  no  blast ! 

Conan:  There's  a  bad  class  going  through  the 
world.  The  most  people  you  will  give  to  will  be 
the  first  to  cry  you  down.  This  was  a  wrong  out 
of  measure!  Thieves  ye  are  and  pickpockets! 
Ye  that  were  not  worth  changing  from  one  to  an- 
other, no  more  than  you'd  change  a  pinch  of  dust 


204  Aristotle's  Bellows 

off  the  road  into  a  puff  of  ashes.  Stealing  away 
my  lovely  blasts,  bad  luck  to  ye,  the  same  as  Pro- 
metheus stole  the  makings  of  a  fire  from  the  ancient 
gods! 

Flannery:  That  is  enough  of  keening  and 
lamenting  after  a  few  blasts  of  barren  wind — I'll 
be  going  where  I  have  my  own  business  to  attend. 

Conan:    Where,  so,  is  the  bellows? 

Flannery:    How  would  I  know? 

Conan:  The  two  of  ye  won't  quit  this  till  I'll 
find  it!  There  is  another  two  blasts  in  it  that 
will  bring  sense  and  knowledge  into  Ireland  yet ! 

Rock:  Indeed  they  might  bring  comfort  yet 
to  many  a  sore  heart ! 

Conan:  (Searching.)  Where  now  is  it?  I 
couldn't  find  it  if  the  earth  rose  up  and  swallowed 
it.  Where  now  did  I  lay  it  down  ? 

Rock:  There's  too  much  changes  in  this  place 
for  me  to  know  where  anything  is  gone. 

Conan:  (At  door.)  Where  are  you  Maryanne ! 
Celia!  Timothy!  Let  ye  come  hither  and  search 
out  my  little  bellows ! 

(Timothy  comes  in  followed  by  Mother.) 

Conan:    Hearken  now,  Timothy! 

Timothy:  (Stopping  his  ears.)  Speak  easy, 
speak  easy! 

Conan:  Take  down  now  your  ringers  from  your 
ears  the  way  you  will  hear  my  voice ! 

Timothy:  Have  a  care  now  with  your  screeching 
would  you  split  the  drum  of  my  ear? 


Aristotle's  Bellows  205 

Conan:    Is  it  that  you  have  got  your  hearing  ? 

Timothy:  My  hearing  is  it?  As  good  as  that  I 
can  hear  a  lie,  and  it  forming  in  the  mind. 

Conan:    Is  that  the  truth  you're  saying? 

Timothy:  Hear,  is  it !  I  can  hear  every  whisper 
in  this  parish  and  the  seven  parishes  are  nearest. 
And  the  little  midges  roaring  in  the  air. — Let  ye 
whist  now  with  your  sneezing  in  the  draught ! 

Conan:  This  is  surely  the  work  of  the  bellows. 
Another  blast  gone ! 

Rock:    So  it  would  be  too.     Mostly  the  whole 
of  them  gone  and  spent.    It's  hard  know  in  the 
morning  what  way  will  it  be  with  you  at  night. 
(Sings.} 

"I  saw  from  the  beach  when  the  morning  was  shin- 
ing 

A  bark  o'er  the  waters  move  gloriously  on — 
I  came  when  the  sun  o'er  the  beach  was  declining, 
The  bark  was  still  there,  but  the  waters  were 
gone." 

Timothy:  It  is  yourself  brought  the  misfortune 
on  me,  calling  your  Druid  spells  into  the  house. 

Conan:    It  is  not  upon  you  I  ever  turned  it. 

Timothy:  You  have  a  great  wrong  done  to 
me! 

Mother:    It  is  glad  you  should  be  and  happy. 

Timothy:  Happy,  is  it  ?  Give  me  a  hareskin  cap 
for  to  put  over  my  ears,  having  wool  in  it  very  thick! 
(Sings.) 


2o6  Aristotle's  Bellows 

"Silent,  O  Moyle,  be  the  roar  of  thy  water, 
Break  not  ye  breezes  your  chain  of  repose, 
While   murmuring  mournfully  Lir's  lonely 

daughter 
Tells  to  the  night-star  her  tale  of  woes. 

When  shall  the  swan,  her  death-note  singing, 
Sleep  with  wings  in  darkness  furl'd? 
When  will  heaven  its  sweet  bells  ringing 
Call  my  spirit  from  this  stormy  world?" 

Mother:  Come  with  me  now  and  1 11  be  chatting 
to  you. 

Timothy:  Why  would  I  be  listening  to  your 
blather  when  I  have  the  voices  of  the  four  winds  to 
be  listening  to?  The  night  wind,  the  east  wind, 
the  black  wind  and  the  wind  from  the  south ! 

Conan:  Such  a  thing  I  never  saw  before  in  all 
my  natural  life. 

Timothy:  To  be  hearing,  without  understand- 
ing it,  the  language  of  the  tribes  of  the  birds! 
(Puts  hands  over  ears  again.}  There's  too  many 
sounds  in  the  world!  The  sounds  of  the  earth 
are  terrible!  The  roots  squeezing  and  jostling 
one  another  through  the  clefts,  and  the  crashing 
of  the  acorn  from  the  oak.  The  cry  of  the  little 
birdeen  in  under  the  silence  of  the  hawk ! 

Conan:  (To  Mother.)  As  it  you  let  it  loose 
upon  him,  let  you  bring  him  away  to  some  hole  or 
cave  of  the  earth. 

Timothy:  It  is  my  desire  to  go  cast  myself  in 
the  ocean  where  there'll  be  but  one  sound  of  its 


Aristotle's  Bellows  207 

waves,  the  fishes  in  its  meadows  being  dumb! 
(Goes  to  corner  and  hides  his  head  in  a  sack.) 

Mother:  Even  so  there  might  likely  be  a  mer- 
maid playing  reels  on  her  silver  comb,  and  your- 
self craving  after  the  world  you  left. 

(Sings:    Air,  "  Spailpin  Fdnach. ' ' ) 

"You  think  to  go  from  every  woe  to  peace  in  the 

wide  ocean, 
But  you  will  find  your  foolish  mind  repent  its 

foolish  notion. 
When  dog-fish  dash  and  mermaids  splash  their 

finny  tails  to  find  you, 
I'll  make  a  bet  that  you'll  regret  the  world  you 

left  behind  you!" 

Celia.  (Clattering  in  with  broom,  etc.)  What 
are  ye  doing,  coming  in  this  room  again  after  I  hav- 
ing it  settled  so  nice ?  I'll  allow  no  one  in  the  place 
again,  only  carriage  company  that  will  have  no 
speck  of  dust  upon  the  sole  of  their  shoe ! 

Mother:  Oh,  Celia,  there  has  strange  things 
happened ! 

Celia:  What  I  see  strange  is  that  some  person 
has  meddled  with  that  hill  of  ashes  on  the  hearth 
and  set  it  flying  athrough  the  air.  Is  it  hens  ye 
are  wishful  to  be,  that  would  be  searching  and 
scratching  in  the  dust  for  grains  ?  And  this  thrown 
down  in  the  midst !  (Holds  up  bellows.) 

Conan:    Give  me  my  bellows ! 

Mother:    No,  but  give  it  to  me ! 

Rock  and  Flannery:    Give  it  to  myself! 


208  Aristotle's  Bellows 

Timothy:  (Looking  up,  with  hands  on  ears.} 
My  curse  upon  it  and  its  work.  Little  I  care  if  it 
goes  up  with  the  clouds. 

Celia:  What  in  the  world  wide  makes  the  whole 
of  ye  so  eager  to  get  hold  of  such  a  thing? 

Conan:    It  has  but  the  one  blast  left ' 
(Sings.) 

"  Tis  the  last  Rose  of  Summer 
Left  blooming  alone, 
All  her  lovely  companions 
Are  faded  and  gone. 
No  flower  of  her  kindred, 
No  rosebud  is  nigh, 
To  reflect  back  her  blushes 
Or  give  sigh  for  sigh!" 

Celia:  What  are  you  fretting  about  blasts  and 
about  roses? 

Rock:    It  has  a  charm  on  it — 

Flannery:    To  change  the  world — 

Mother:    That  changed  myself — 

Conan:    For  the  worse — 

Mother:    And  Timothy — 

Conan:    For  the  worse — 

Rock:    Myself  and  Flannery — 

Conan:    For  the  worse,  for  the  worse — 

Mother:    Conan  that  changed  yourself  with  it — 

Conan:    For  the  very  worst ! 

Celia:  (To  Conan.)  Is  it  riddles,  or  is  it  that 
you  put  a  spell  and  a  change  upon  me? 

Conan:    If  I  did,  it  was  for  your  own  good ! 


Aristotle's  Bellows  209 

Celia:  Do  you  call  it  for  my  good  to  set  me  run- 
ning till  I  have  my  toes  going  through  my  shoes? 
(Holds  them  out.} 

Conan:    I  didn't  think  to  go  that  length. 

Celia:  To  roughen  my  hands  with  soap  and 
scalding  water  till  they're  near  as  knotted  and  as 
ugly  as  your  own ! 

Conan:  Ah,  leave  me  alone !  I  tell  you  it  is  not 
by  my  own  fault.  My  plan  and  my  purpose  that 
went  astray  and  that  broke  down. 

Celia:  I  will  not  leave  you  till  you'll  change  me 
back  to  what  I  was.  What  way  can  these  hands  go 
to  the  dance  house  to-night  ?  Change  me  back,  I  say ! 

Rock:    And  me — 

Timothy:  And  myself,  that  I'll  have  quiet  in  my 
head  again. 

Conan:  I  cannot  undo  what  has  been  done. 
There  is  no  back  way. 

Timothy:  Is  there  no  way  at  all  to  come  out  of  it 
safe  and  sane? 

Conan:  (Shakes  head.}  Let  ye  make  the  best  of  it. 

Flannery:   (Sings.)   (Air,"  I  saw  from  the  Beach") 

1 '  Ne'er  tell  me  of  glories  serenely  adorning 
The  close  of  our  day,  the  calm  eve  of  our  night. 
Give  me  back,  give  me  back  the  wild  freshness 

of  morning, 

Her  clouds  and  her  tears  are  worth  evening's  best 
light." 

Mother:  (Who  has  bellows  in  her  hand.)  Stop! 
Stop — my  mind  is  travelling  backward  ...  so 


210  Aristotle's  Bellows 

far  I  can  hardly  reach  to  it  .  .  .  but  I'll  come 
to  it  .  .  .  the  way  I'll  be  changed  to  what  I  was 
before,  and  the  town  and  the  country  wishing  me 
well,  I  having  got  my  enough  of  unfriendly  looks 
and  hard  words ! 

Timothy:  Hurry  on  Ma'am,  and  remember,  and 
take  the  spell  off  the  whole  of  us. 

Mother:  I  am  going  back,  back,  to  the  longest 
thing  that  is  in  my  mind  and  my  memory !  .  .  . 
I  myself  a  child  in  my  mother's  arms  the  very  day 
I  was  christened.  .  .  . 

Conan:    Ah,  stop  your  raving! 

Mother:  Songs  and  storytelling,  and  my  old 
generations  laying  down  news  of  this  spell  that  is 
now  come  to  pass.  .  .  . 

Rock:  Did  they  tell  what  way  to  undo  the  charm  ? 

Mother:  You  have  but  to  turn  the  bellows  the 
same  as  the  smith  would  turn  the  anvil,  or  St. 
Patrick  turned  the  stone  for  fine  weather  .  .  . 
and  to  blow  a  blast  .  .  .  and  a  twist  will  come 
inside  in  it  and  the  charm  will  fall  off  with  that 
blast,  and  undo  the  work  that  has  been  done ! 

All:    Turn  it  so! 

(Cats  look  over,  playing  on  fiddles  "0  Johnny, 
I  hardly  knew  you,"  while  mother  blows 
on  each.) 

Timothy:  Ha !  ( Takes  hands  from  ears  and  puts 
one  behind  his  ear.) 

Rock:  Ha!  Where  now  is  my  bag?  (Turns 
out  his  pockets,  unhappy  to  find  them  empty.) 


Aristotle's  Bellows  211 

Flannery:  Ha !  (Smiles  and  holds  out  umbrella 
to  Conan  who  takes  it.) 

Mother  to  Celia.  Let  you  blow  a  blast  on  me. 
(Celia  does  so.)  Now  it's  much  if  I  can  remember 
to  blow  a  blast  backward  upon  yourself ! 

Celia:  Stop  a  minute !  Leave  what  is  in  me  of 
life  and  of  courage  till  I  will  blow  the  last  blast  is 
in  the  bellows  upon  Conan. 

Conan:  Stop  that!  Do  you  think  to  change 
and  to  crow  over  me.  You  will  not  or  I'll  lay  my 
curse  upon  you,  unless  you  would  change  me  into 
an  eagle  would  be  turning  his  back  upon  the  whole 
of  ye,  and  facing  to  his  perch  upon  the  right  hand 
of  the  master  of  the  gods ! 

Celia:  Is  it  to  waste  the  last  blast  you  would? 
Not  at  all.  As  we  burned  the  candle  we'll  burn  the 
inch !  I'll  not  make  two  halves  of  it,  I'll  give  it  to 
you  entirely! 

Conan:  You  will  not,  you  unlucky  witch  of  illwill ! 
(Protects  himself  with  umbrella) 

Celia:  (Having  got  him  to  a  corner)  Let  you 
take  things  quiet  and  easy  from  this  out,  and  be  as 
content  as  you  have  been  contrary  from  the  very 
day  and  hour  of  your  birth ! 

(She  blows  upon  him  and  he  sits  down  smiling. 
Mother  blows  on  Celia,  and  she  sits  down 
in  first  attitude.) 

Celia:    (Taking  up  pigeon.)     Oh,  there  you  are 
come  back  my  little  dove  and  my  darling ! 
(Sings:  "Shule  Aroon") 


212  Aristotle's  Bellows 

"Come  sit  and  settle  on  my  knee 
And  I'll  tell  you  and  you'll  tell  me 
A  tale  of  what  will  never  be, 

Go-de-tou-Mavourneen  slan!" 
•  .!'..«  I  !'  iT 

Conan:  (Lighting  pipe.)  So  the  dove  is  there, 
too.  Aristotle  said  there  is  nothing  at  the  end  but 
what  there  used  to  be  at  the  beginning.  Well  now, 
what  a  pleasant  day  we  had  together,  and  what 
good  neighbours  we  all  are,  and  what  a  comfortable 
family  entirely. 

Rock:  You  would  seem  to  have  done  with  your 
complaints  about  the  universe,  and  your  great  plan 
to  change  it  overthrown. 

Conan:    Not  a  complaint !    What  call  have  I  to 
go  complaining?    The  world  is  a  very  good  world, 
the  best  nearly  I  ever  knew. 
(Sings.) 

"O,  a  little  cock  sparrow  he  sat  on  a  tree, 
O,  a  little  cock  sparrow  he  sat  on  a  tree, 
O,  a  little  cock  sparrow  he  sat  on  a  tree, 
And  he  was  as  happy  as  happy  could  be, 
With  a  chirrup,  a  chirrup,  a  chirrup ! 

"A  chirrup,  a  chirrup,  a  chirrup! 
A  chirrup,  a  chirrup,  a  chirrup ! 
A  chirrup,  a  chirrup,  a  chirrup ! 
A  chirrup,  a  chirrup,  a !" 

CURTAIN 


NOTE   TO  ARISTOTLE'S   BELLOWS 

I  had  begun  to  put  down  some  notes  for  this  play 
when  in  the  autumn  of  1919  I  was  suddenly  obliged, 
(through  the  illness  and  death  of  the  writer  who  had 
undertaken  it),  to  take  in  hand  the  writing  of  the  "Life 
and  Achievement"  of  my  nephew  Hugh  Lane,  and 
this  filled  my  mind  and  kept  me  hard  at  work  for  a 
year. 

When  the  proofs  were  out  of  my  hands  I  turned 
with  but  a  vague  recollection  to  these  notes,  and  was 
surprised  to  find  them  fuller  than  they  had  appeared 
in  my  memory,  so  that  the  idea  was  rekindled  and  the 
writing  was  soon  begun.  And  I  found  a  certain  rest 
and  ease  of  mind  in  having  turned  from  a  long  struggle, 
(in  which,  alas,  I  had  been  too  often  worsted)  for 
exactitude  in  dates  and  names  and  in  the  setting  down 
of  facts,  to  the  escape  into  a  world  of  fantasy  where  I 
could  create  my  own.  And  so  before  the  winter  was 
over  the  play  was  put  in  rehearsal  at  the  Abbey 
Theatre,  and  its  first  performance  was  on  St.  Patrick's 
Day,  1921. 

I  have  been  looking  at  its  first  scenario,  made  ac- 
cording to  my  habit  in  rough  pen  and  ink  sketches, 
coloured  with  a  pencil  blue  and  red,  and  the  changes 
from  that  early  idea  do  not  seem  to  have  been  very 
great,  except  that  in  the  scene  where  Conan  now 

213 


214  Aristotle's  Bellows 

hears  the  secret  of  the  hiding-place  of  the  Spell  from  the 
talk  of  the  cats,  the  Bellows  had  been  at  that  time  left 
beside  him  by  a  dwarf  from  the  rath,  in  his  sleep. 
The  cats  work  better,  and  I  owe  their  success  to  the 
genius  of  our  Stage  Carpenter,  Mr.  Sean  Barlow,  whose 
head  of  the  Dragon  from  my  play  of  that  name  had 
been  such  a  masterpiece  that  I  longed  to  see  these 
other  enchanted  heads  from  his  hand. 

The  name  of  the  play  in  that  first  scenario  was 
"The  Fault-Finder"  but  my  cranky  Conan  broke 
from  that  narrowness.  If  the  play  has  a  moral  it  is 
given  in  the  words  of  the  Mother,  "It's  best  make 
changes  little  by  little,  the  same  as  you'd  put  clothes 
upon  a  growing  child."  The  restlessness  of  the  time 
may  have  found  its  way  into  Conan's  mind,  or  as  some 
critic  wrote,  "He  thinks  of  the  Bellows  as  Mr.  Wilson 
thought  of  the  League  of  Nations,"  and  so  his  disap- 
pointment comes.  As  A.  E.  writes  in  "The  National 
Being,"  "I  am  sympathetic  with  idealists  in  a  hurry, 
but  I  do  not  think  the  world  can  be  changed  suddenly 
by  some  heavenly  alchemy,  as  St.  Paul  was  smitten 
by  a  light  from  the  overworld.  Though  the  heart  in 
us  cries  out  continually,  'Oh,  hurry,  hurry  to  the 
Golden  Age,'  though  we  think  of  revolutions,  we  know 
that  the  patient  marshalling  of  human  forces  is 
wisdom.  .  .  .  Not  by  revolutions  can  humanity 
be  perfected.  I  might  quote  from  an  old  oracle,  '  The 
gods  are  never  so  turned  away  from  man  as  when  he 
ascends  to  them  by  disorderly  methods.'  Our  spirits 
may  live  in  the  Golden  Age  but  our  bodily  life  moves 
on  slow  feet,  and  needs  the  lantefn  on  the  path  and  the 
staff  struck  carefully  into  the  darkness  before  us  to 


Aristotle's  Bellows  215 

see  that  the  path  beyond  is  not  a  morass,  and  the  light 
not  a  will  o'  the  wisp. ' '  (But  this  may  not  refer  to  our 
own  Revolution,  seeing  that  has  been  making  a  step 
now  and  again  towards  what  many  judged  to  be  a 
will  o'  the  wisp  through  over  seven  hundred  years.) 

As  to  the  machinery  of  the  play,  the  spell  was  first 
to  have  been  worked  by  a  harp  hung  up  by  some 
wandering  magician,  and  that  was  to  work  its  change 
according  to  the  wind,  as  it  blew  from  north  or  south, 
east  or  west.  But  that  would  have  been  troublesome 
in  practice,  and  the  Bellows  having  once  entered  my 
mind,  brought  there  I  think  by  some  scribbling  of  the 
pencil  that  showed  Conan  protecting  himself  with  an 
umbrella,  seemed  to  have  every  necessary  quality, 
economy,  efficiency,  convenience. 

As  to  Aristotle,  his  name  is  a  part  of  our  folklore. 
The  old  wife  of  one  of  our  labourers  told  me  one  day, 
as  a  bee  buzzed  through  the  open  door:  "Aristotle  of 
the  Books  was  very  wise  but  the  bees  got  the  better 
of  him  in  the  end.  He  wanted  to  know  how  did  they 
pack  the  comb,  and  he  wasted  the  best  part  of  a  fort- 
night watching  them,  and  he  could  not  see  them  doing 
it.  Then  he  made  a  hive  with  a  glass  cover  on  it  and 
put  it  over  them,  and  he  thought  to  watch  them. 
But  when  he  went  to  put  his  eye  to  the  glass,  they  had 
it  all  covered  with  wax  so  that  it  was  as  black  as  the  pot, 
and  he  was  as  blind  as  before.  He  said  he  was  never 
rightly  killed  till  then.  The  bees  had  him  beat  that  time 
surely."  And  Douglas  Hyde  brought  home  one  day  a 
story  from  Kilmacduagh  bog,  in  which  Aristotle  took 
the  place  of  Solomon,  the  Wise  Man  in  our  tales  as 
well  as  in  those  of  the  East.  And  he  said  that  as  the 


216  Aristotle's  Bellows 

story  grew  and  the  teller  became  more  familiar,  the 
name  of  Aristotle  was  shortened  to  that  of  Harry. 

As  to  the  songs  they  are  all  sung  to  the  old  Irish  airs 
I  give  at  the  end. 

A.  GREGORY. 

August  18,  1921. 


THE  JESTER 

A  PLAY  IN  THREE  ACTS 


217 


FOR  RICHARD 

JANUARY,  1919 

A.  G. 


v;\\ 


219 


PERSONS. 

The  Five  Princes. 

The  Five  Wrenboys. 

The  Guardian  of  the  Princes  and  Governor  of 

the  Island. 

The  Servant.  <^{ 

The  Two  Dowager  Messengers. 
The  Ogre. 
The  Jester. 
Two  Soldiers. 

The  Scene  is  laid  in  The  Island  of  Hy  Brasil,  that 
appears  every  seven  years. 

Time:    Out  of  mind. 


220 


ACT  I 


221 


ACT  I 

Scene:  A  winter  garden,  with  pots  of  flowering 
trees  or  fruit-trees.  There  are  books  about  and 
some  benches  with  cushions  on  them,  and  many 
cushions  on  the  ground.  The  young  PRINCES 
are  sitting  or  lying  at  their  ease.  One  is  playing 
"Home,  Sweet  Home"  on  a  harp.  The  SERV- 
ANT— an  old  man — is  standing  in  the  background. 

1st  Prince:  Here,  Gillie,  will  you  please  take  off 
my  shoe  and  see  what  there  is  in  it  that  is  pressing 
on  my  heel. 

Servant:  (Taking  it  off  and  examining  it.)  I 
see  nothing. 

1st  Prince:  Oh,  yes,  there  is  something;  I  have 
felt  it  all  the  morning.  I  have  been  thinking  this 
long  time  of  taking  the  shoe  off,  but  I  waited  for 
you. 

Servant:    All  I  can  find  is  a  grain  of  poppy  seed. 

1st  Prince:  That  is  it  of  course — it  was  enough 
to  hurt  my  skin. 

2nd  Prince:  Gillie,  there  is  a  mayfly  tickling 
my  cheek.  Will  you  please  brush  it  away. 

Servant:    I  will  and  welcome.     (Fans  it  off.) 
223 


224  The  Jester 

3rd  Prince:  Just  give  me,  please,  that  book 
that  is  near  my  elbow.  I  cannot  reach  to  it  with- 
out taking  my  hand  off  my  cheek. 

Servant:  I  wouldn't  wish  you  to  do  that. 
(Gives  him  book.} 

4th  Prince:  Gillie,  I  think,  I  am  nearly  sure, 
there  is  a  feather  in  this  cushion  that  has  the  quill 
in  it  yet.  I  feel  something  hard. 

Servant:  Give  it  to  me  till  I  will  open  it  and 
make  a  search. 

4th  Prince:  No,  wait  a  while  till  I  am  not  lying 
on  it.  I  will  put  up  with  the  discomfort  till 
then. 

5th  Prince.  Would  it  give  you  too  much 
trouble,  Gillie,  when  you  waken  me  in  the  morn- 
ing, to  come  and  call  me  three  times,  so  that  I  can 
have  the  joy  of  dropping  off  again? 

Servant:  Why  wouldn't  I?  And  there  is  a 
thing  I  would  wish  to  know.  There  will  be  a 
supper  laid  out  here  this  evening  for  the  Dowager 
Messengers  that  are  coming  to  the  Island,  and  I 
would  wish  to  provide  for  yourselves  whatever 
food  would  be  pleasing  to  you. 

1st  Prince:  It  is  too  warm  for  eating.  All  I 
will  ask  is  a  few  grapes  from  Spain. 

2nd  Prince:  A  mouthful  of  jelly  in  a  silver 
spoon  .  .  .  or  in  the  shape  of  a  little  castle  with 
towers.  When  will  the  Lady  Messengers  be  here? 

Servant:    Not  before  the  fall  of  day. 

2nd  Prince:    The  time  passes  so  quietly  and 


The  Jester  225 

peaceably  it  does  not  feel  like  a  year  and  a  day  since 
they  came  here  before. 

Servant:  No  wonder  the  time  to  pass  easy  and 
quiet  where  you  are,  with  comfort  all  around  you, 
and  nothing  to  mark  its  course,  and  every  season 
feeling  the  same  as  another,  within  the  glass  walls 
and  the  crystal  roof  of  this  place.  And  the  old 
Queen,  your  godmother,  sending  her  own  Cham- 
berlain to  take  charge  of  you,  and  to  be  your  Guard- 
ian, and  Governor  of  the  Island.  Sure,  the  wind 
itself  must  slacken  coming  to  this  sheltered  place. 

3rd  Prince:  That  is  a  great  thing.  I  would 
not  wish  the  rough  wind  to  be  blowing  upon  me. 

4th  Prince.  Or  the  dust  to  be  rising  and  coming 
in  among  us  to  spoil  our  suits. 

5th  Prince:  Or  to  be  walking  out  on  the  hard 
roads,  or  climbing  over  stone  walls,  or  tearing 
ourselves  in  hedges. 

ist  Prince:  That  is  the  reason  we  were  sent 
here  by  the  Queen,  our  Godmother,  in  place  of 
being  sent  to  any  school.  To  be  kept  safe  and 
secure. 

2nd  Prince:  Not  to  be  running  here  and  there 
like  our  own  poor  five  first  cousins,  that  used  to 
be  slipping  out  and  rambling  in  their  young  youth, 
till  they  were  swallowed  up  by  the  sea. 

jrd  Prince:  It  was  maybe  by  some  big  fish  of 
the  sea. 

2nd  Prince:  It  might  be  they  were  brought 
away  by  sea-robbers  coming  in  a  ship. 


226  The  Jester 

3rd  Prince:  Foolish  they  were  and  very  foolish 
not  to  stay  in  peace  and  comfort  in  the  house  where 
they  were  safe. 

Servant:  There  is  no  fear  of  ye  stirring  from 
where  you  are,  having  every  whole  thing  ye  can 
wish. 

4th  Prince:  Here  is  the  Guardian  coming! 
(They  all  rise.) 

Guardian:  (A  very  old  man,  much  encumbered 
with  wraps  coming  slowly  in.)  Are  you  all  here, 
all  the  five  of  you? 

All:    We  are  here! 

Guardian:  (Standing,  leaning  on  a  stick,  to  ad- 
dress them.)  It's  a  pity  that  these  being  holidays, 
your  teachers  and  tutors  are  far  away, 

Gone  off  afloat  in  a  cedar  boat  to  a  College  of 
Learning  out  in  Cathay. 

1st  Prince:  It's  a  pity  indeed  they're  not  here 
to-day. 

Guardian:  For  it's  likely  you  looked  in  your 
almanacs,  or  judged  by  the  shape  of  the  lessening 
moon, 

That  your  Godmother's  Dowager  Messengers 
are  due  to  arrive  this  afternoon. 

2nd  Prince:  We  did  and  we  think  they'll  be 
here  very  soon. 

Guardian:  But  I  know  they'll  be  glad  that  each 
royal  lad,  put  under  my  rule  in  place  of  a  school, 

Can  fashion  his  life  without  trouble  or  strife,  and 
be  shielded  from  care  in  a  nice  easy  chair. 


The  Jester  227 

jrd  Prince:    As  we  always  are  and  we  always 

were. 

Guardian:  It  is  part  of  my  knowledge  that  lads 
in  a  college,  and  made  play  one  and  all  with  a  bat 
and  a  ball, 

Come  often  to  harm  with  a  knock  on  the  arm, 

and  their  hands  get  as  hard  as  the  hands  of  a  clown. 

4th  Prince:    But  ours  are  as  soft  as  thistledown. 

Guardian:    And  I've  seen  young  princes  not 

far  from  your  age,  go  chasing  beasts  on  a  winter 

day, 

And  carted  home  with  a  broken  bone,  and  a 
yard  of  a  doctor's  bill  to  pay; 

Or  going  to  sail  in  the  teeth  of  a  gale,  when  the 
waves  were  rising  mountains  high, 

Or  fall  from  a  height  that  was  near  out  of  sight, 
robbing  rooks  from  their  nest  in  a  poplar  tree. 

5th  Prince:  (To  another.')  But  that  never 
happened  to  you  or  me. 

Guardian:  Or  travelling  far  to  a  distant  war, 
with  battles  and  banners  filling  their  mind, 

And  creeping  back  like  a  crumpled  sack,  content 
if  they'd  left  no  limbs  behind. 

ist  Prince:  But  we'll  have  nothing  to  do  with 
that,  but  stop  at  home  with  an  easy  mind. 

Guardian:  (Sitting  down.}  That's  right.  And 
now  I  would  wish  you  to  say  over  some  of  your 
tasks,  to  make  ready  for  the  Dowager  Messengers, 
that  they  may  bring  back  a  good  report  to  the 
Queen,  your  Godmother. 


228  The  Jester 

ist  Prince:  We'll  do  that.  We  would  wish  to  be 
a  credit  to  you,  sir,  and  to  our  teachers. 

Guardian:  Say  out  now  some  little  piece  of 
Latin;  that  one  that  is  my  favourite. 

ist  Prince: 

Aere  sub  gelido  nullus  rosa  fundit  odores, 
Ut  placeat  tellus,  sole  calesce  Dei. 

Guardian:    Say  out  the  translation. 

2nd  Prince:  Beneath  a  chilly  blast  the  rose, 
loses  its  sweet,  and  scentless  blows; 

If  you  would  have  earth  keep  its  charm,  stop 
in  the  sunshine  and  keep  warm. 

Guardian:  Very  good.  Now  your  history 
book;  you  were  learning  of  late  some  genealogies 
of  kings,  might  suit  your  Godmother. 

3rd  Prince: 

William  the  First  as  the  Conqueror  known 
At  the  Battle  of  Hastings  ascended  the  throne, 
His  Acts  were  all  made  in  the  Norman  tongue 
And  at  eight  every  evening  the  curfew  was  rung 
When  each  English  subject  by  royal  desire 
Extinguished  his  candle  and  put  out  his  fire. 
He  bridled  the  kingdom  with  forts  round  the  Border 
And  the  Tower  of  London  was  built  by  his  order. 

2nd  Prince: 

William  called  Rufus  from  having  red  hair, 
Of  virtues  possessed  but  a  moderate  share, 
But  though  he  was  one  whom  we  covetous  call, 
He  built  the  famed  structure  called  Westminster 
Hall. 


The  Jester  229 

Walter  Tyrrell  his  favourite,  when  hunting  one 

day, 

Attempted  a  deer  with  an  arrow  to  slay, 
But  missing  his  aim,  shot  the  King  to  the  heart 
And  the  body  was  carried  away  in  a  cart. 

Guardian:    That  will  do.    You  have  that  very 
well  in  your  memory.    Now  let  me  hear  the 
grammar  lesson. 
3rd  Prince: 

A  noun's  the  name  of  any  thing 
As  school  or  garden,  hoop  or  swing. 
Guardian:    Very  good,  go  on. 
4th  Prince: 

Adjectives  tell  the  kind  of  noun 
As  strong  or  pretty,  white  or  brown. 
5th  Prince: 

Conjunctions  join  the  nouns  together 
As  men  and  children,  wind  or  weather. 
Guardian:    It  will  be  very  useful  to  you  to  have 
that  so  well  grafted  in  your  mind.   .    .    .     What 
noise  is  that  outside? 
Servant:    It  is  some  strolling  people. 
ist  Prince:    Oh,  Guardian,  let  them  come  in. 
We  will  do  our  work  all  the  better  if  we  have  some 
amusement  now. 

Guardian:  Maybe  so.  I  am  well  pleased  when 
amusements  come  to  our  door,  that  you  can  see 
without  going  outside  the  walls. 

(A  Jester  enters  in  very  ragged  green  clothes 
and  broken  shoes.} 


230  The  Jester 

But  this  is  a  very  ragged  looking  man.  Do 
you  know  anything  about  him,  Gillie? 

Servant:  I  seen  him  one  time  before.  .  .  . 
At  the  time  of  the  earthquake  out  in  Foreign.  A 
mad  jester  he  was.  A  tramp  class  of  a  man.  (To 
Jester.)  Where  is  it  you  stop? 

Jester:  Where  do  I  stop?  Where  would  I  be 
but  everywhere,  like  the  bad  weather.  I  stop  in 
no  place,  but  going  through  the  whole  roads  of  the 
world. 

Guardian:    What  brought  you  in  here? 

Jester:  Hearing  questions  going  on,  and  an- 
swers. I  am  well  able  to  give  help  in  that.  It's 
not  long  since  I  was  giving  instruction  to  the  sons 
of  the  King  of  Babylon.  Here  now  is  a  question. 
How  many  ladders  would  it  take  to  reach  to  the 
moon? 

1st  Prince:    It  should  be  a  great  many. 

2nd  Prince:    I  give  it  up. 

Jester:  One  .  .  .  if  it  is  long  enough?  Which 
is  it  easier  to  spell,  ducks  or  geese? 

jrd  Prince:  Ducks  I  suppose  because  it's 
shorter. 

Jester:  Not  at  all  but  geese.  Do  you  know 
why?  Because  it  is  spelled  with  ees.  Tell  me 
now,  can  you  spell  pup  backwards? 

4th  Prince:    P-u-p.   .    .    . 

Jester:    Not  at  all. 

4th  Prince:    But  it  is. 

Jester:    No,  that  is  pup  straight  forwards.  .   .   . 


The  Jester  231 

Can  you  run  back  and  forwards  at  the  same  time? 

4th  Prince:    Answer  it  yourself  so. 

Jester:  You  would  be  as  wise  as  myself  then. 
But  I'll  show  you  some  tricks.  Look  at  these 
three  straws  on  my  hand.  Will  I  be  able  to  blow 
two  of  them  away,  and  the  other  to  stay  in  its 
place? 

5th  Prince:    They  would  all  blow  away. 

Jester:  Look  now.  Puff!  (He  has  put  his 
finger  on  the  middle  one.}  Now  is  it  possible? 

5th  Prince:    It  is  easy  when  you  know  the  way. 

Jester:  That  is  so  with  all  knowledge.  Can 
you  wag  one  ear  and  keep  the  other  quiet  ? 

ist  Prince:    Nobody  can  do  that. 

Jester:  (Wagging  one  ear  with  his  finger} 
There,  now  you  see  I  have  done  it !  There's  more 
learning  than  is  taught  in  books.  Wait  now  and 
I'll  give  you  out  a  song  I'll  engage  you  never 
heard.  (Sings  or  repeats} 

It's  I  can  rhyme  you  out  the  joy 
That's  ready  for  a  lively  boy. 
Cuchulain  flung  a  golden  ball 
And  followed  it  where  it  would  fall, 
And  when  they  counted  him  a  child 
He  took  the  flying  swans  alive. 
And  Finn  was  given  hares  to  mind 
Till  he  outran  them  and  the  wind; 
And  he  could  swim  and  overtake 
The  wild  duck  swimming  on  the  lake. 
Osgar's  young  music  was  to  thwack 
The  enemy  and  drive  him  back.   .    .    . 


232  The  Jester 

Guardian:  That's  enough  now.  I  have  no 
fancy  for  that  class  of  song.  What  other  amuse- 
ments are  there? 

Servant:  There  are  the  Wrenboys  are  come 
here  at  the  end  of  their  twelve  days'  funning. 

Jester:    That's  it!    The  Wrenboys;  a  rambling 

troop ;  rambling  the  world  like  myself.   I  will  make 

place  for  them.  The  old  must  give  way  to  the  young. 

(He  goes  and  sits  down  in  a  corner,  munching 

a  crust  and  dozing.} 

Servant:  Come  in  here  let  ye,  and  show  what 
ye  can  do ! 

(Wrenboys  come  in  playing  a  fife.     They  are 
wearing  little  masks  and  are  dressed  in 
ragged  tunics;  they  carry  drum  and  fife, 
and  stand  in  a  line.) 
All  Five  Wrenboys:     (Together.) 

The  wren,  the  wren,  the  King  of  all  birds, 
On  Stephen's  Day  was  caught  in  the  furze. 
Although  he's  small  his  family's  great, 
Rise  up  kind  gentry  and  give  us  a  treat ! 
(Rub-a-tub-tub-tub,  on  the  drum.) 

Down  with  the  kettle  and  up  with  the  pan 
And  give  us  money  to  bury  the  wren ! 
(Rub-a-tub.) 

We  followed  him  twenty  miles  since  morn, 
The  Wrenboys  are  all  tattered  and  torn 
From  Kyle-na-Gno  we  started  late 
And  here  we  are  at  this  grand  gate ! 
(Rub-a-tub.) 


The  Jester  233 

He  dipped  his  wing  in  a  barrel  of  beer — 
We  wish  you  all  a  Happy  New  Year ! 
Give  us  now  money  to  buy  him  a  bier 
And  if  you  don't,  we'll  bury  him  here! 
(Rub-a-tub,  and  fife.) 

(Princes  laugh  and  clap  hands.) 

1st  Prince:    That  is  very  good. 

2nd  Prince:  We  must  give  them  some  money 
to  bury  the  wren ! 

Guardian:  Come  on  then  and  I  will  give  you 
some.  They  will  be  glad  of  it.  Play  now  the 
harp  as  you  go. 

(Princes  go  off  playing,  "Home,  Sweet  Home" 
The  Wrenboys  sit  down.) 

1st  Wrenboy:  It  is  likely  we'll  get  good  treat- 
ment. 

Jester:     (Coming  forward.)     Ye  should  be  tired. 

2nd  Wrenboy:  We  should  be,  but  that  we  have 
our  feet  well  soled, — with  the  dust  of  the  road! 

^rd  Wrenboy:  If  walking  could  tire  us  we  might 
be  tired.  But  we're  as  well  pleased  to  be  moving, 
where  we  have  no  house  or  home  that  you'll  call  a 
house  or  a  home. 

Jester:  That's  not  so  with  those  young  princes. 
Wouldn't  you  be  well  pleased  if  ye  could  change 
places  with  them?  (He  goes  back  to  his  corner.) 

4th  Wrenboy:  They  are  lovely  kind  young 
princes.  I  was  near  in  dread  they  might  set  the 
dogs  at  us. 

$th  Wrenboy:    They   would   do   that  if   they 


234  The  Jester 

knew  the  Ogre  had  sent  us  to  spy  out  the  place 
for  him. 

1st  Wrenboy:  It  failed  us  to  see  what  he  wanted 
us  to  see.  It  is  likely  he  will  beat  us,  when  we  go 
back,  with  his  cat-o' -nine-tails. 

2nd  Wrenboy:  Wouldn't  it  be  good  if  we  could 
do  as  that  Jester  was  saying  and  change  places  with 
those  sons  of  kings!  They  that  can  lie  in  the 
sunshine  on  soft  pillows. 

jrd  Wrenboy:  They  that  can  use  food  when  they 
ask  it,  and  not  have  to  wait  till  they  can  find  it, 
or  steal  it,  or  get  it  what  way  they  can. 

3rd  Wrenboy:  And  not  to  be  waiting  till  you'll 
hear  a  rabbit  squealing,  with  the  teeth  of  a  weasel 
in  his  neck. 

4th  Wrenboy:  And  the  weasel  when  you  take 
it  to  be  spitting  poison  at  you,  the  same  as  a 
serpent. 

5th  Wrenboy:  It  would  be  a  nice  thing  to  be 
eating  sweet  red  apples  in  place  of  the  green  crabs. 

1st  Wrenboy:  Or  to  be  maybe  sucking  marrow- 
bones. 

2nd  Wrenboy:  It  is  likely  they  are  as  airy  and 
as  careless  as  the  blackbird  singing  on  the  bush. 

^rd  Wrenboy:  It's  likely  they  go  following  after 
foxes  on  horses,  having  huntsmen  and  beagles  at 
their  feet. 

4th  Wrenboy:  Or  go  out  sporting  and  fowling 
with  their  greyhound  and  with  their  gun. 

$th  Wrenboy:    Or  matching  fighting  cocks. 


The  Jester  235 

1st  Wrenboy:  It's  likely  they  lead  a  gentleman's 
life,  card-playing  and  eating  and  drinking,  and 
racing  with  jockeys  in  speckled  clothes. 

2nd  Wrenboy:  Their  brooches  were  shining  like 
green  fire,  the  same  as  a  marten  cat's  eyes.  They 
have  everything  finer  than  another. 

3rd  Wrenboy:  Their  faces  as  clean  as  a  linen 
sheet.  Their  hair  as  if  combed  with  a  silver  comb. 

4th  Wrenboy:  There  is  no  one  to  so  much  as 
put  a  clean  shirt  on  ourselves. 

5th  Wrenboy:  (Rubbing  his  hand.}  I  never 
felt  uneasy  at  the  dirt  that  is  grinted  into  me  till 
I  saw  them  so  nice. 

ist  Wrenboy:  That  music  they  were  playing 
put  me  in  mind  of  some  far  thing.  It  is  dreamed 
to  me,  and  it  is  never  leaving  my  mind,  that  there 
is  something  I  remember  in  the  long  ago  .  .  . 
music  in  a  house  that  was  as  bright  as  the  moon, 
or  as  the  brightest  night  of  stars. 

5th  Wrenboy:    Whisht!    They  are  coming! 
(The  Princes  come  back.) 

ist  Prince:    Here  are  coppers  for  you. 

2nd  Prince:    And  white  money. 

3rd  Prince:    And  here  is  a  piece  of  gold. 

3rd  Wrenboy:  We  are  thankful  to  you!  We'll 
bury  the  Wren  in  grand  style  now! 

4th  Prince:    Have  you  far  to  go? 

ist  Wrenboy:  Not  very  far  if  it  was  a  straight 
road.  But  it  is  through  the  forest  we  go,  beyond 
the  lake. 


236  The  Jester 

2nd  Wrenboy:  We  will  hardly  be  there  before 
the  moon  rises. 

ist  Prince:    Are  you  afraid  in  the  night  time? 

2nd  Wrenboy:  I  am  not.  But  I've  seen  a  great 
deal  of  strange  things  at  that  time. 

2nd  Prince:    What  sort  of  things? 

2nd  Wrenboy:    Fairies  you'd  see. 

3rd  Prince:    Are  there  such  things? 

2nd  Wrenboy:  One  night  I  was  attending  a  pot- 
still,  roasting  oats  for  to  make  still-whiskey,  and  I 
seen  hares  coming  out  of  the  wood,  by  fours  and  by 
sixes,  and  they  as  thin  as  thin  .  .  . 

jrd  Wrenboy:    Hares  are  the  biggest  fairies  of  all. 

4th  Wrenboy:  And  down  by  the  sea  /  met  a 
weasel  bringing  up  a  fish  in  his  mouth  from  the 
tide.  And  I  often  seen  seals  there,  seals  that  are 
enchanted  and  look  like  humans,  and  will  hold  up 
a  hand  the  same  as  a  Christian. 

5th  Wrenboy:  I  that  saw  a  hedgehog  running 
up  the  side  of  a  mountain  as  swift  as  a  racehorse. 

ist  Wrenboy:  It's  the  moonlight  is  the  only 
time! 

ist  Prince:  I  never  saw  the  moon  but  through 
a  window. 

ist  Wrenboy:  That's  the  time  to  go  ramble. 
(He  chants.) 

You'll  see  the  crane  in  the  water  standing, 
And  never  landing  a  fish,  for  fright, 
For  he  can  but  shiver  seeing  in  the  river 
His  shadow  shaking  in  the  bright  moon  light. 


The  Jester  237 

2nd  Wrenboy: 

Or  you  may  listen  to  the  plover's  whistle, 
When  high  above  him  the  wild  geese  screech; 
Or  the  mallard  flying,  as  the  night  is  dying, 
His  neck  out-stretched  towards  the  salt  sea  beach. 

jrd  Wrenboy: 

When  dawn  discloses  the  oak  and  shows  us 
The  wide  sky  whitening  through  the  scanty  ash, 
High  in  the  beeches  the  furry  creatures, 
Squirrel  and  marten  lightly  pass. 

4th  Wrenboy: 

The  badger  scurries  to  find  his  burrow 
The  rabbit  hurries  to  hide  underground. 

5th  Wrenboy: 

The  pigeon  rouses  the  thrush  that  drowses, 
The  woods  awaken  and  the  world  goes  round ! 

ist  Wrenboy:    Come  now,  it's  time  to  be  taking 
the  road.   Thank  you,  noble  Gentlemen !  That  you 
may  be  doing  the  same  thing  this  day  fifty  years ! 
(They  go  off  playing  fife  and  beating  drum.) 

ist  Prince:    I  would  nearly  wish  to  be  in  their 
place  to  go  through  the  world  at  large. 

2nd  Prince:    They  can  go  visit  strange  cities, 
sailing  in  white-sailed  ships. 

3rd  Prince:    They  have  no  lessons  to  learn. 

4th  Prince:    No  hours  to  keep.     No  clocks  to 
strike. 

5th  Prince:    No   Lady  Messengers  coming  to 
show  off  to. 

ist  Prince:    They  should  be  as  merry  as  midges. 


238  The  Jester 

2nd  Prince:    As  free  as  the  March  wind. 

3rd  Prince:  I  don't  know  how  we  stopped  so 
long  shut  up  in  this  place. 

4th  Prince:  I  would  be  nearly  ready  to  change 
places  with  them  if  such  a  thing  were  possible. 

Jester:  (Who  has  had  his  back  to  them  comes 
forward;  the  Princes  stand  on  his  right  in  a  half 
circle.}  And  why  wouldn't  you  change? 

5th  Prince:    It  is  a  thing  not  possible. 

Jester:  I  never  could  know  the  meaning  of  that 
word  "impossible."  Where  there's  a  will  there's 
a  way. 

ist  Prince:  It  seems  to  me  like  the  sound  of  a 
bell  ringing  a  long  way  off,  that  I  had  leave  at  one 
time  to  go  here  and  there. 

Jester:  If  you  are  in  earnest  wanting  to  come  to 
that  freedom  again  you  will  get  it. 

2nd  Prince:  No,  we  would  be  followed  and 
brought  back  through  kindness. 

Jester:  If  you  have  the  strong  wish  to  make 
the  change  you  can  make  it. 

1st  Prince:  I  think  I  was  never  so  much  in 
earnest  in  all  my  life. 

(The  Jester  takes  his  pipe  and  plays  a  note 
on  it.  The  Wrenboys  come  back  beating 
their  drum.  They  stand  in  a  half  circle 
on  Jester's  left.) 

Jester:     (To  all.) 

If  it's  true  ye  wish  to  change, 
Some  to  have  a  wider  range, 


The  Jester  239 

Some  to  have  an  easy  life, 
Some  to  rove  into  the  wild, 
If  you  do  it,  do  it  fast, 
Do  it  while  you  have  the  chance. 
Wrenboys:  (Together.)  We  will  change !  We  will! 
Jester:    (To  Princes.) 

If  you  wish  to  leave  your  ease 
And  live  wild  and  free  like  these 
Like  the  fawn  free  and  wild, 
Not  closed  in  as  is  a  child, 
Take  your  chance  as  it  has  come, 
Let  you  run  and  run  and  run, 
Where  you'll  get  your  joy  and  fun ! 
2nd  Prince:    They  will  know  us,  they  will  know 
us! 

Jester:    Change    your    clothes,    change    your 
clothes! 

3rd  Prince:    They  will  know  us  every  place. 
Jester:    Put    their    masks    upon    your    face. 
(Wrenboys  give  them  the  masks.) 
You  never  will  be  missed 
For  I  will  throw  a  dust 
Before  every  body's  eye 
That  wants  to  look  or  pry 
To  see  if  you  are  here, — 
And  if  you  should  appear 
To  be  someway  strange  or  queer 
They  will  think  themselves  are  blind 
Or  confused  in  the  mind ! 
(Throws  a  handful  of  dust  over  all  the  boys.) 


240  The  Jester 

Dust  of  Mullein,  work  your  spell; 
Keep  the  double  secret  well ! 
5th  Prince:     (To  a  Wrenboy.) 

Give  me  here  your  coat  now  fast 
I  don't  want  to  be  the  last. 
(They  all  rapidly  change  coats  and  caps.) 
Jester:    That  will  do,  that  is  enough. 
1st  Wrenboy:    But  my  hands  are  very  rough. 
Jester: 

Never  mind;  never  mind, 
The  truth  is  hard  to  find ! 
Guardian:     (Off  stage.)    Gillie,  do  as  you  are 
told,  shut  the  door,  it's  getting  cold. 

ist  Prince:    Oh,  I'm  in  dread!    What  will  be 
said! 

2nd  Prince:    I'd  sooner  stay  in  my  old  way! 
Jester: 

Never  mind,  never  mind ! 
The  truth  is  hard  to  find ! 
Keep  steady.    Are  you  ready? 
ist  Wrenboy:    I'll  be  ashamed  if  I  am  blamed. 
2nd  Wrenboy:    I  have  no  grace  or  lovely  face ! 
Jester:     (To  Princes.)    Too  late,  too  late!    Go 
out  the  gate! 

(The  Princes  have  taken  up  fife  and  drum. 
They  march  out  playing.) 


CURTAIN 


ACT  II 


16 


241 


ACT  II 

SCENE  I 

(A  front  scene.  A  poor  hut  or  tent,  the 
Princes  are  coming  in  slowly,  some 
limping.  They  are  in  Wrenboys'  clothes 
and  the  masks  are  in  their  hands.} 

1st  Prince:  This  should  be  the  hut  where  the 
Wrenboys  told  us  to  come. 

2nd  Prince:    It  is  a  poor  looking  place. 

3rd  Prince:  It  is  good  to  have  any  place  to  sit 
down  in  for  a  while.  My  back  is  aching. 

4th  Prince:  My  feet  are  all  scratched  and  torn. 
There  are  blisters  rising. 

5th  Prince:  I  thought  we  would  never  come  to 
the  end  of  the  road.  The  stones  by  the  lake  were 
so  hard  and  so  sharp. 

ist  Prince:  It  was  a  root  of  a  tree  I  fell  over 
that  made  these  bruises  on  my  knees.  I  was 
watching  a  hawk  that  was  still  and  quiet  up  in  the 
air,  and  when  it  made  a  swoop  all  of  a  sudden 
I  stumbled  and  fell. 

2nd  Prince:  It  was  in  slipping  where  the  rocks 
are  high  I  gave  this  twist  to  my  arm.  I  can 
hardly  move  it. 

243 


244  The  Jester 

3rd  Prince:  But  wasn't  the  sight  of  the  sunset 
splendid  over  the  lake?  And  the  hills  so  blue! 

4th  Prince:  I  like  the  tall  trees  best.  I  tried 
to  climb  up  one  of  them,  but  it  was  so  smooth  I 
did  but  slip  and  fall. 

ist  Prince:  I  would  wish  to  walk  as  far  as  the 
hills,  and  to  have  a  view  of  the  ocean  that  is 
beyond. 

5th  Prince:  I  am  hungry.  I  wonder  where  we 
will  get  our  supper. 

4th  Prince:  Not  in  this  place  anyway,  it  must 
be  making  ready  in  some  big  guesthouse. 

^rd  Prince:    What  will  they  give  us,  I  wonder? 

2nd  Prince:  I  wish  we  had  in  our  hand  what 
they  have  ready  for  us  at  home. 

ist  Prince:  What  use  would  it  be  to  us?  Do 
you  remember  what  we  asked  to  be  given,  some 
jellies  and  a  few  grapes?  It  is  not  that  much 
would  satisfy  me  now. 

2nd  Prince:  Indeed  it  would  not.  I  never  felt 
so  sharp  a  hunger  in  my  longest  memory. 

3rd  Prince:    It  is  roasted  meat  I  would  wish  for. 

4th  Prince:  There  were  pigeons  in  the  tall 
trees.  They  will  maybe  give  us  a  pigeon  pie. 

5th  Prince:  I  would  be  content  with  a  plate  of 
minced  turkey  with  poached  eggs. 

ist  Prince:  I  would  sooner  have  a  roasted 
chicken,  with  bread  sauce. 

2nd  Prince:  Be  quiet.  ...  I  think  I  hear 
someone  coming !  (Looks  out.) 


The  Jester  245 

3rd  Prince:  (Looking  out.)  I  see  him.  He  is  not 
a  right  man  ...  he  is  very  strange  look- 
ing. .  .  . 

4th  Prince:  (Looking  out.)  Oh!  It  is  an  Ogre! 
A  Grugach! 

(All  shrink  back  and  hurriedly  put  on  masks.) 

Ogre:  (Coming  in:  he  wears  a  frightful  mask,  has 
red  hair  and  a  cloak  of  rough  skins  and  carries  a 
whip  with  many  lashes.)  What  makes  ye  late  to- 
night, ye  young  schemers?  What  was  it  delayed 
ye?  Lagging  along  the  road. 

ist  Prince:  We  came  as  fast  as  we  could.  It 
was  getting  dusk  in  the  wood. 

Ogre:  Dusk,  good  morrow  to  you!  I'll  dusk 
ye!  I  had  a  mind  to  go  after  ye  and  to  change 
myself  into  the  form  of  a  wolf,  and  catch  a  hold  of 
ye  with  my  long  sharp  teeth! 

2nd  Prince:  We  did  not  know  there  was  any 
great  hurry. 

Ogre:  There  is  always  hurry  when  you  are  on 
my  messages.  What  did  I  bring  you  away  from 
your  own  house  for  and  put  ye  on  the  shaughraun 
for  and  keep  ye  wandering,  if  it  was  not  to  be 
serviceable  and  helpful  to  myself.  Show  me  now 
what  ye  have  in  your  pocket  or  your  bag. 

3rd  Prince:  This  is  all  we  got  in  the  bag. 
(Holds  it  out)  It  is  but  very  little. 

Ogre:  (Turning  it  out  and  counting  it)  Cop- 
pers! Silver!  What  is  this?  A  piece  of  gold! 
Is  that  what  ye  call  little  ?  What  notions  ye  have ! 


246  The  Jester 

Take  care  did  ye  keep  any  of  it  back!  If  ye  did 
I'll  skin  ye  with  the  lash  of  my  cat -o' -nine-tails, 
(Shakes  it.) 

4th  Prince:  That  is  all  we  got.  It  should 
maybe  pay  for  our  supper  in  some  place. 

Ogre:  What  supper?  To  go  buy  supper  with 
my  money!  It  will  go  to  add  to  my  store  of 
treasure  in  the  cave  that  is  under  ground. 

5th  Prince:  We  are  hungry,  very  hungry. 
When  will  the  supper  be  ready? 

Ogre:  It  will  be  ready  whenever  ye  will  ready 
it  for  yourselves.  Ye  should  know  that  by  this 
time. 

1st  Prince:  We  would  make  it  ready  if  we  were 
acquainted  with  the  way. 

Ogre:  It  is  gone  cracked  ye  are?  What  is  it 
ye  are  thinking  to  get  for  your  supper?  What 
ailed  ye  that  ye  didn't  climb  a  tree  and  suck  a 
few  pigeon's  eggs? 

2nd  Prince:    We  were  thinking  of  a  pigeon  pie. 

Ogre:    A  what!  !  ! 

2nd  Prince:    A  pigeon  pie. 

Ogre:  Hurry  on  then  making  your  pigeon  pie! 
There  are  pigeons  enough  there  in  the  corner,  that 
a  hawk  that  is  my  carrier  brought  me  in  a  while 
ago.  And  there's  a  pike  that  was  in  the  lake  these 
hundred  years,  an  otter  is  after  leaving  at  my 
door. 

3rd  Prince:  (Taking  a  pigeon.)  I  don't  think 
this  is  a  right  pigeon. 


The  Jester  247 

4th  Prince:  Pigeons  in  a  pie  are  not  the  pigeons 
that  have  feathers. 

5th  Prince:  (To  Ogre.}  Please,  sir,  where  can 
we  find  pigeons  without  feathers,  that  are  trussed 
on  a  silver  skewer? 

Ogre:    Aye?    What's  that? 

ist  Prince:  Never  mind.  You'll  anger  him. 
Maybe  we  can  pull  the  feathers  off  these.  I  have 
read  of  plucking  a  pigeon  in  our  books.  (They 
begin  to  pluck.) 

2nd  Prince:    It  is  very  hard  work. 

3rd  Prince:  I  never  knew  feathers  could  stick 
in  so  hard. 

4th  Prince:  The  more  we  pull  out  the  more 
there  would  seem  to  be  left. 

5th  Prince:  It  will  be  a  feather  pie  we  will  be 
getting  in  the  end. 

ist  Prince:  (Throwing  it  down.}  It  is  no  use. 
We  might  work  at  it  to-day  and  to-morrow  and  be 
no  nearer  to  a  finish. 

2nd  Prince:    The  pike  might  be  better. 

3rd  Prince:    It  has  no  feathers  anyway. 

4th  Prince:  (Touching  it.}  It  is  raw  and 
bleeding! 

5th  Prince:    We  might  roast  it. 

ist  Prince:    The  fire  is  black  out. 

2nd  Prince:  I  wonder  what  way  can  we  kindle 
it? 

3rd  Prince :  Better  ask  him.  (Points  to 
Ogre.} 


248  The  Jester 

2nd  Prince:  Please,  sir,  what  way  can  we 
kindle  the  fire? 

Ogre:    What! 

4th  Prince:    We  would  wish  to  light  the  fire. 

Ogre:    Well,  do  so. 

5th  Prince:    If  we  had  a  box  of  matches.  .   .   . 

Ogre:  Matches!  What  are  you  talking  about? 
Matches  won't  be  invented  for  the  next  seven 
hundred  years. 

1st  Prince:  What  can  we  do  then,  we  are  starv- 
ing with  hunger. 

Ogre:  Let  ye  blow  a  breath  upon  a  coal  under 
the  ashes,  and  bring  in  small  sticks  from  the 
wood. 

2nd  Prince:  (Blowing.)  The  ashes  are  choking 
me. 

Ogre:  Very  good.  Then  you'll  put  no  delay 
on  me,  waiting  till  you'll  cook  your  supper. 

3rd  Prince:    Where  can  we  get  it  then  ? 

Ogre:  You'll  go  without  it,  as  you  were  too 
helpless  to  catch  it,  or  to  dress  it,  there's  no  one 
will  force  you  to  eat  it. 

4th  Prince:  If  there  is  nothing  for  us  to  eat  we 
had  best  pass  the  time  in  sleep. 

5th  Prince:  I  am  all  covered  with  ashes  and 
dirt.  (To  Ogre.)  Please,  where  can  I  find  a 
towel  and  a  piece  of  soap  ? 

Ogre:  Soap!  Is  it  bewitched  ye  are  or  de- 
mented in  the  head?  Did  ever  anyone  hear  of 
soap  unless  of  a  Saturday  night  ?  Letting  on  to  be 


The  Jester  249 

as  dainty  and  as  useless  as  those  young  princes 
beyond,  that  are  kept  closed  up  in  a  tower  of  glass. 
Come  on  now.  If  there  is  no  food  that  suits  you, 
leave  it.  It  is  time  for  us  to  get  to  work. 

1st  Prince:    But  it  is  bed-time. 

Ogre:  Your  bed-time  is  the  time  when  I  have 
no  more  use  for  you.  Don't  you  know  I  have 
made  a  plan?  What  was  it  I  sent  you  for,  spying 
out  that  place  of  the  young  princes?  Wasn't  it 
to  see  where  is  it  that  treasure  is  kept,  the  golden- 
handled  sword  of  Justice  that  is  used  by  the 
Guardian  when  he  turns  Judge. 

2nd  Prince:    That  is  kept  in  the  Courthouse. 

Ogre:    That's  right  ...  in  what  part  of  it? 

3rd  Prince:    What  do  you  want  it  for? 

Ogre:  I  have  it  in  my  mind  this  long  time  to 
get  and  to  keep  it  in  my  cave  under  ground,  along 
with  the  rest  of  my  treasures  that  are  in  charge  of 
my  two  enchanted  cats.  I  have  had  near  enough 
of  grubbing  for  gold  with  a  pick  in  the  clefts  and 
crannies  of  the  earth.  It  is  time  for  me  to  find 
some  rest,  and  get  into  my  hand  what  is  ready 
worked  and  smelted  and  purified.  We  are  going 
to  that  Courthouse  to-night.  If  we  cannot  get  in 
at  the  door,  I  will  put  ye  in  at  the  window  and  ye 
can  open  the  door  to  myself.  I  will  find  out 
where  the  sword  is,  and  away  with  us,  and  it  in 
my  hand. 

4th  Prince:    But  that  would  be  stealing. 

Ogre:    What  else  would  it  be? 


250  The  Jester 

4th  Prince:  But  that  is  wrong.  It  is  against 
the  law. 

Ogre:  The  law!  That  is  the  Judge's  trade. 
Breaking  it  is  mine. 

5th  Prince:  Ask  him  for  it  and  maybe  he  will 
give  it  to  you,  he  is  so  kind. 

Ogre:  I'll  take  no  charity!  What  I  get  111 
earn  by  taking  it.  I  would  feel  no  pleasure  it 
being  given  to  me,  any  more  than  a  huntsman 
would  take  pleasure  being  made  a  present  of  a 
dead  fox,  in  place  of  getting  a  run  across  country 
after  it.  Come  on  now!  We'll  have  the  moon 
wasted.  We'll  hardly  get  there  before  the  dawn 
of  day. 

ist  Prince:  Whatever  time  you  get  there  the 
Guardian  will  be  awake.  There  is  a  cock  of  Den- 
mark perched  on  the  curtain  rod  of  his  bed, 
specially  to  waken  him  if  there  is  any  stir. 

Ogre:  There  is,  is  there?  What  a  fool  you 
think  me  to  be.  Do  you  see  that  pot? 

2nd  Prince:    We  do  see  it. 

Ogre:    Look  what  there  is  in  it. 

3rd  Prince:    Nothing  but  a  few  bare  bones. 

Ogre:  Well,  that  is  all  that  is  left  of  the  Judge's 
cock  of  Denmark,  that  was  brought  to  me  awhile 
ago  by  a  fox  that  is  my  messenger,  and  that  I  have 
boiled  and  ate  and  devoured. 

All  the  Princes:    O!  O!  O! 

Ogre:  (Cracking  his  whip.)  He  was  boiled  in 
the  little  pot.  Come  on  now  and  lead  the  way,  or 


The  Jester  251 

I  give  you  my  word  it  is  in  the  big  pot  your  own 
bones  will  be  making  broth  for  my  breakfast  in  the 
morning !  (Cracks  whip.}  Now.  right  about  face ! 
Quick  march! 


CURTAIN 


SCENE  II 

(The  Winter  Garden,  evening.     The  Servant  settling 
benches  and  a  table.') 

Guardian:  (Coming  in.}  Are  the  Dowager 
Messengers  come  ?  They  are  late. 

Servant:  They  are  come.  They  are  at  the 
looking-glasses  settling  themselves. 

Guardian:  As  soon  as  they  are  ready  you  will 
call  in  the  Princes  for  their  examination  before 
them,  and  their  tasks. 

Servant:    I  will. 

Guardian:  The  Messengers  will  have  a  good 
report  to  bring  back  of  them.  They  have  come 
to  be  good  scholars,  in  poetry,  in  music,  in  lan- 
guages, in  history,  in  numbers  and  all  sorts.  The 
old  Queen-Godmother  will  be  well  satisfied  with 
their  report. 

Servant:    She  might  and  she  might  not. 

Guardian:  They  would  be  hard  to  please  if  they 
are  not  well  pleased  with  the  lads,  as  to  learning 
and  as  to  manners  and  behaviour. 

Servant:  Maybe  so.  Maybe  so.  There  are 
strange  things  in  the  world. 

Guardian:  You're  in  bad  humour,  my  poor 
252 


The  Jester  253 

Gillie.  Have  you  been  quarrelling  with  the  cook, 
or  did  you  get  up  on  the  wrong  side  of  your  bed? 

Servant:  There  is  times  when  it  is  hard  not  to 
be  in  a  bad  humour. 

Guardian:  What  are  you  grumbling  and  hint- 
ing at? 

Servant:  There's  times  when  it's  hard  to  be- 
lieve that  witchcraft  is  gone  out  of  the  world. 

Guardian:  That  is  a  thing  that  has  been  done 
away  with  in  this  Island  through  my  government, 
and  through  enlightenment  and  through  learning. 

Servant:    Maybe  so.     Maybe  so. 

Guardian:  I  suppose  a  three-legged  chicken  has 
come  out  of  the  shell,  or  a  magpie  has  come  before 
you  in  your  path?  Or  maybe  some  token  in  the 
stars? 

Servant:  It  would  take  more  than  that  to  put 
me  astray. 

Guardian:  Whatever  it  is  you  had  best  tell  it  out . 

Servant:  To  see  lads  of  princes,  sons  of  kings, 
and  the  makings  of  kings,  that  were  mannerly  and 
well  behaved  and  as  civil  as  a  child  a  few  hours 
ago,  to  be  sitting  in  a  corner  at  one  time  as  if  in 
dread  of  the  light,  and  tricking  and  fooling  and 
grabbing  at  other  times. 

Guardian:  Oh,  is  that  all!  The  poor  lads. 
They're  out  of  their  habits  because  of  their  God- 
mother's Messengers  coming.  They  are  making 
merry  and  funning,  thinking  there  might  be 
messages  for  them  or  presents. 


254  The  Jester 

Servant:  Funning  is  natural.  But  blowing 
their  nose  with  their  fingers  is  not  natural. 

Guardian:  High  spirits.  Just  to  torment  you 
in  their  joy. 

Servant:  To  get  a  bit  of  chalk,  and  to  make 
marks  in  the  Hall  of  dancing,  and  to  go  playing 
hop-scotch. 

Guardian:  High  spirits,  high  spirits!  I  never 
saw  boys  better  behaved  or  more  gentle  or  with 
more  sweetness  of  speech.  I  am  thinking  there  is 
not  one  among  them  but  will  earn  the  name  of 
Honey-mouth. 

Servant:  Have  it  your  own  way.  But  is  it  a 
natural  thing,  I  am  asking,  for  the  finger  nails  to 
make  great  growth  in  one  day? 

Guardian:  Stop,  stop,  be  quiet.  Here  now 
are  the  Dowager  Messengers.  (Two  old  ladies  in 
travelling  costume  appear;  bowing  low  to  them.) 
You  are  welcome  for  the  sake  of  her  that  sent  you, 
and  for  your  own  sakes. 

1st  Dowager  Messenger:  We  are  come  from  the 
Court  of  the  Godmother  Queen,  for  news  of  the 
Princes  now  in  your  charge; 

She  hopes  they  have  manners,  are  minded  well, 
and  never  let  run  at  large; 

For  she  never  has  yet  got  over  the  fret,  of  their 
five  little  cousins  were  swept  away. 

Guardian:  Let  your  mind  be  at  ease,  for  you'll 
be  well  pleased  with  the  youngsters  you're  going 
to  see  to-day. 


The  Jester  255 

They're  learning  the  laws  to  speak  and  to  pause — 
may  be  orators  then,  or  Parliament  men. 

2nd   Dowager   Messenger:    Are    they   shielded 
from  harm  ? 

Guardian: 

In  my  sheltering  arm; 

Do  their  work  and  their  play  in  a  mannerly  way 
And  go  holding  their  nose,  and  tipped  on  their 

toes, 

If  they  pass  through  a  street,  that  they'll  not  soil 
their  feet. 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:    And   next   to   good 
manners  and  next  to  good  looks  .    .    . 

Guardian: 
I  know  what  you'll  say  .    .    .  she  asks  news  of 

the  cooks ; 

I'm  with  her  in  putting  them  equal  to  btx>ks; 
There's  some  rule  by  coaxing  and  some  rule  by 

beating, 
But  my  principle  is,  tempt  them  on  with  good 

eating. 

When  everything's  said,  isn't  Sparta  as  dead 
As  many  a  place  never  heard  of  black  bread? 
And  as  to  a  lad  who  a  tartlet  refuses, — 
If  Cato  stewed  parsnips  he  hated  the  Muses ! 

1st  Dowager  Messenger:    And  at  meals  are  they 
taught  to  behave  as  they  ought  ? 

Guardian: 

You'll  be  well  satisfied  and  the  Queen  will  have 
pride, 


256  The  Jester 

You  will  see  every  Prince  use  a  fork  with  his 

mince, 

And  eating  his  peas  like  Alcibiades, 
Who  would  sooner  go  mute  than  play  on  the  flute 
Lest  it  made  him  grimace  and  contorted  his  face. 

1st  Dowager  Messenger:    Oh,  all  that  you  say 
delights  us  to-day ! 

We'll  have  good  news  to  bring  of  these  sons  of  a 
king. 

Servant:    Here  they  are  now  coming. 

(Wrenboys    in    Princes'    clothes    come    in 
awkwardly.} 

Guardian: 

Now  put  out  a  chair. 
Where  these  ladies  may  hear. 
Come  over,  my   boys  .    .    .   (Now  what  is  that 

noise?) 
Come  here,  take  your  places,  and  show  us  your 

faces, 

And  say  out  your  task  as  these  ladies  will  ask. 
I  would  wish  them  to  know  how  you  say  Parlez- 

vous, 

And  I'd  like  you  to  speak  in  original  Greek 
And  make  numeration,  and  add  up  valuation ; 
But  to  lead  you  with  ease  and  on  by  degrees 
In  case  you  are  shy  in  the  visitors'  eye 
I  will  let  you  recite,  as  you  easily  might, 
The  kings  of  that  Island  that  no  longer  are  silent 
But  ask  recognition  and  to  take  a  position — 
(Though  if  stories  are  true  they  ran  about  blue, 


The  Jester  257 

While  we  in  Hy-Brasil  wore  our  silks  to  a  frazzle — ) 
So  the  rhymes  you  may  say  that  I  heard  you  to-day ; 
And  the  opening  will  fall  on  the  youngest  of  all. 

Servant:  Let  you  stand  up  now  and  do  as  you 
are  bid.  (Touches  5th  Wrenboy) 

Guardian:  Go  on,  my  child,  say  out  your  lesson. 
William  the  First  as  the  Conqueror  known.  .  .  . 
(Boy  puts  finger  in  mouth  and  hangs  his  head.) 

Ah,  he  is  shy.  Don't  be  affrighted,  go  on  now; 
don't  you  remember  it? 

5th  Wrenboy:    I  do  not. 

Guardian:  Try  it  again  now.  You  said  it  off 
quite  well  this  morning. 

5th  Wrenboy:    It  fails  me. 

Guardian:  Now  I  will  give  you  a  start;  "Wil- 
liam the  First  as  the  Conqueror  known, 

At  the  Battle  of  Hastings  ascended  the 
throne  .  .  . "  Say  that  now. 

5th  Wrenboy:     (Nudging  4th.)     Let  you  word  it. 

4th  Wrenboy:  (To  Guardian.)  Let  you  word  it 
again,  sir. 

Guardian:  "William  the  First  as  the  Con- 
queror known." 

4th  Wrenboy:  William  the  First  as  the  conger- 
eel  known.  .  .  . 

Guardian:  What  is  that?  You  would  not  do 
it  to  vex  me!  Gillie  is  maybe  right.  There  is 
something  strange.  .  .  .  (To  another)  You 
may  try  now.  Go  on  to  the  next  verse.  "Wil- 
liam called  Rufus  from  having  red  hair."  .  .  . 
17 


258  The  Jester 

(He    does    not    answer.}      Say    it  anyone    who 
knows.   .    .  U; 

3rd  Wrenboy:  (Putting  up  his  hand.}  I  know 
a  man  that  has  red  hair! 

All  the  Wrenboys:  (Cheerfully.}  So  do  I!  So 
do  I! 

2nd  Wrenboy:  He  lives  in  the  wood  beyond! 
He  is  no  way  good!  He  is  an  Ogre,  a 
Grugach.  .  .  . 

1st  Wrenboy:  He  can  turn  himself  into  the 
shape  of  a  beast,  or  he  can  change  his  face  at  any 
time;  sometimes  he'll  be  that  wicked  you  would 
think  he  was  a  wolf;  he  would  skin  you  with  his 
cat-o' -nine-tails ! 

Guardian:    What  gibberish  are  you  talking? 

2nd  Wrenboy:  He  goes  working  underground 
to  get  gold! 

3rd  Wrenboy:  It  is  minded  by  enchanted 
cats! 

4th  Wrenboy:  They  would  tear  in  bits  anyone 
that  would  find  itl 

Guardian:  Now  take  care,  lads,  this  is  carry- 
ing a  joke  too  far.  I  was  wrong  to  begin  with 
that  silly  history.  Tell  me  out  now  the  parts  of 
speech. 

"A  noun's  the  name  of  anything 
As  school  or  garden,  hoop  or  swing." 

5th  Wrenboy:  An  owl's  the  name  of  any- 
thing. .  .  . 

Guardian:    A  noun. 


The  Jester  259 

5th  Wrenboy:    An  owl. 

Guardian:    Don't  pretend  you  don't  know  it. 

5th  Wrenboy:  I  do  know  it.  I  know  an  owl 
that  sits  in  the  cleft  of  the  hollow  sycamore  and 
eats  its  fill  of  mice,  till  it  can  hardly  put  a  stir 
out  of  itself. 

Guardian:  I  do  wish  you  would  stop  talking 
nonsense. 

1st  Wrenboy:  It  is  not,  but  sense.  It  devoured 
ere  yesterday  a  whole  fleet  of  young  rats. 

2nd  Wrenboy:    It's  as  wise  as  King  Solomon. 

Guardian:  Gillie  was  right.  There  is  surely 
something  gone  wrong  in  their  heads. 

2nd  Wrenboy:  Go  out  yourself  and  you'll  see  are 
we  wrong  in  the  head !  Inside  in  the  old  sycamore 
he  is  sitting  through  the  daylight. 

1st  Dowager  Messenger:  There  is  something 
gone  wrong  in  somebody's  head. 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:  (Tapping  her  fore- 
head.) The  poor  Guardian;  he  is  too  long  past 
his  youth.  It  is  well  we  came  to  look  how  things 
were  going  before  it  is  too  late. 

ist  Dowager  Messenger:  Ask  them  to  say 
something  they  do  know. 

Guardian:  Here,  you're  good  at  arithmetic, 
say  now  your  numbers. 

ist  Wrenboy:  Twelve  coppers  make  a  shilling. 
I  never  handled  more  than  that. 

Guardian:  (Angrily.)  Well,  do  as  the  lady 
said,  tell  us  something  you  do  know. 


260  The  Jester 

2nd  Wrenboy:  (Standing  up,  excited.)  I  know 
the  way  to  make  bird-lime,  steeping  willow  rods  in 
the  stream.  .  .  . 

3rd  Wrenboy:  I  know  how  to  use  my  fists;  I 
knocked  a  tinker  bigger  than  myself. 

4th  Wrenboy:  I  am  the  best  at  wrestling.  I 
knocked  himself.  (Pointing  at  jrd.) 

5th  Wrenboy:  I  that  can  skin  a  fawn  after 
catching  him  running ! 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger.  Where  now  did  you 
get  that  learning? 

5th  Wrenboy:  Here  and1  there,  rambling  the 
woods,  sleeping  out  at  night.  I  would  never 
starve  in  any  place  where  grass  grows ! 

1st  Dowager  Messenger:  This  is  worse  than 
neglect.  The  poor  old  Guardian  the  Queen  put 
her  trust  in  must  be  in  his  dotage. 

Guardian:  (Hastily.)  Here,  there  is  at  least  one 
thing  you  will  not  fail  in.  Take  the  harp  (hands 
it  to  the  1st  Wrenboy)  and  draw  out  of  it  sweet 
sounds.  (To  Dowager  Messengers.)  He  can  play 
a  tune  so  sweet  it  has  been  known  to  send  all  the 
hearers  into  a  sound  sleep.  Here  now,  touch  the 
strings  with  all  your  skill. 

(ist  Wrenboy  bangs  harp  making  a  crash.) 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:  (With  hands  to  ears.) 
Mercy !  Our  poor  ears ! 

ist  Dowager  Messenger:  That  is  the  poorest 
music  we  have  ever  heard. 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:    That  sound  would 


The  Jester  261 

send  no  one  into  their  sleep.  It  would  be  more 
likely  to  send  them  into  Bedlam. 

1st  Dowager  Messenger:  Whatever  they  knew 
last  year,  they  have  forgotten  it  all  now. 

Guardian:  (Weeping  into  his  handkerchief.)  I 
don't  know  what  has  come  upon  them!  At 
noon  they  were  the  most  charming  lads  in  the 
whole  world.  Their  memory  seems  to  have  left 
them! 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:  It  is  as  if  another 
memory  had  come  to  them.  They  did  not  learn 
those  wild  tricks  shut  up  in  the  garden. 

Servant:  (To  Boys.)  Can't  ye  behave  nice 
and  not  ugly?  (To  Guardian.)  You  would  not 
believe  me  a  while  ago.  I  said  and  I  say  still 
there  is  enchantment  on  them,  and  spells. 

Guardian:  Oh,  I  would  be  sorry  to  think  such 
a  thing.  But  they  never  went  on  this  way  in 
their  greenest  youth. 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:  If  there  is  a  spell 
upon  them  what  way  can  it  be  taken  off? 

Servant:  It  is  what  I  always  heard,  that  to 
make  a  rod  of  iron  red  in  the  fire,  and  to  burn  the 
enchantment  out  of  them  is  the  only  way. 

Guardian:  Oh,  boys,  do  you  hear  that!  You 
would  not  like  to  be  burned  with  a  red  hot  rod! 
Say  out  now  what  at  all  is  the  matter  with  you? 
What  is  it  you  feel  within  you  that  is  putting  you 
from  your  gentle  ways? 

1st  Wrenboy:    The  thing  that  I  feel  in  me  is 


262  The  Jester 

hunger.  The  thing  I  would  wish  to  feel  inside 
me  is  a  good  fistful  of  food. 

ist  Dowager  Messenger:  They  have  been 
starved  and  stinted!  It  would  kill  their  God- 
mother on  the  moment  if  she  was  aware  of  that ! 

Guardian:  It  is  a  part  of  their  playgame. 
They  have  everything  they  ask. 

2nd  Wrenboy:  I  did  not  eat  a  farthing's  worth 
since  yesterday. 

3rd  Wrenboy:  My  teeth  are  rusty  with  the  want 
of  food ! 

4th  Wrenboy:     I  want  some  dinner! 

5th  Wrenboy:    We  want  something  to  eat ! 

Guardian:  Give  them  whatever  you  have  ready 
for  them,  Gillie. 

Servant:  (Giving  the  plates)  Here  is  the  sup- 
per ye  gave  orders  for  this  morning. 

ist  Wrenboy:    What  is  it  at  all? 

Servant:  It  is  your  choice  thing.  Jellies  and 
grapes  from  Spain. 

2nd  Wrenboy:  (Pushing  away  grapes.)  Berries ! 
I  thought  to  get  better  than  berries  from  the  bush. 

3rd  Wrenboy:  There's  not  much  satisfaction  in 
berries ! 

4th  Wrenboy:  If  it  was  a  pig's  foot  now;  or  as 
much  as  a  potato  with  a  bit  of  dripping. 

5th  Wrenboy:  (Looking  at  jelly.}  What  now 
is  this?  It  has  like  the  appearance  of  frog 
spawn. 

ist  Wrenboy:    Or  the  leavings  of  a  fallen  star. 


The  Jester  263 

5th  Wrenboy:  Shivering  it  is  and  shaking.  It's 
not  natural!  (Drops  his  plate,) 

4th  Wrenboy:  There  is  nothing  here  to  satisfy 
our  need. 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:  I  am  nearly  sorry  for 
them,  poor  youngsters.  When  they  were  but  little 
toddlers  they  never  behaved  like  that  at  home. 

3rd  Wrenboy:  It's  the  starvingest  place  ever  I 
was  in ! 

ist  Dowager  Messenger:  There  must  be  some- 
thing in  what  they  say.  They  would  not  ask  for 
food  if  they  were  not  in  need  of  it.  And  the 
Guardian  making  so  much  talk  about  his  table  and 
his  cooks.  We  cannot  go  home  and  report  that 
they  have  no  learning  and  no  food. 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:  As  to  learning  I  don't 
mind.  But  as  to  food,  I  would  not  wish  to  leave 
them  without  it  for  the  night.  They  might  be  as 
small  as  cats  in  the  morning. 

Guardian:  They  are  dreaming  when  they  say 
they  are  in  want  of  food. 

ist  Dowager  Messenger:  It  is  a  dream  that  will 
waken  up  their  Godmother. 

Servant:  Look  ma'am,  at  the  table  behind  you, 
and  you  will  see  is  this  a  scarce  house!  That  is 
what  is  set  out  for  yourselves,  ma'am,  lobsters 
from  Aughanish!  A  fat  turkey  from  the  barley 
gardens !  A  spiced  and  larded  sucking  pig !  Cakes 
and  sweets  and  all  sorts!  It  is  not  the  want  of 
provision  was  ever  brought  against  us  up  to  this! 


264  The  Jester 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:  If  all  this  is  for  us,  we 
would  sooner  give  it  up  to  those  poor  children. 

(To  Wrenboy  s.)  Here,  my  dears,  we  will  not 
eat  while  you  are  in  want  of  food.  We  will  give  it 
all  to  you. 

ist  Wrenboy:  Is  it  that  we  can  have  what  is  on 
that  table? 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:  You  may,  and  wel- 
come. 

ist  Wrenboy:  (With  a  shout.)  Do  you  hear 
that  news!  Come  on  now.  Take  your  chance! 
I'll  have  the  first  start!  Skib  scab!  Hip,  hip, 
hooray ! 

(They  rush  at  table  and  upset  it  flinging 
themselves  on  the  food.) 


CURTAIN 


ACT  III 


265 


ACT  III 

The  Hall  of  Justice.  It  is  nearly  dawn.  The  last 
of  the  Princes  is  getting  in  through  the  window. 
They  are  wearing  their  masks. 

Ogre:  (Outside  door  to  left.}  Open  now  the 
door  for  myself. 

ist  Prince:  No,  we  will  get  rid  of  him  now. 
Let  the  Grugach  stay  outside. 

2nd  Prince:  That  will  be  best.  He  cannot 
break  the  bars  of  this  door,  or  get  round  over  the 
high  wall  to  the  door  on  the  other  side. 

3rd  Prince:  I  am  sore  with  the  blows  he  put  on 
us,  driving  us  before  him  through  the  wood. 

4th  Prince:  Let  us  call  to  the  Guardian,  and  let 
him  deal  with  him.  He  can  bring  his  foot  soldiers 
and  his  guns. 

5th  Prince:  A  villain  that  Ogre  is  and  a  thief, 
wanting  to  steal  away  the  golden-handled  sword. 
But  we  would  not  tell  him  where  it  was,  and  he 
never  will  find  it  under  the  step  of  the  Judge's 
chair.  (Lifts  top  of  step,  takes  out  sword  and  puts  it 
back  again.) 

Ogre:  (Outside.)  Are  ye  going  to  open  the 
door? 

267 


268  The  Jester 

ist  Prince:  It  is  a  great  thing  to  have  that 
strong  door  between  us. 

2nd  Prince:    Take  care  would  he  break  it  in. 

3rd  Prince:  No  fear.  It  would  make  too  much 
noise.  It  would  bring  every  person  in  the  house 
running. 

4th  Prince:  Let  us  go  quick  and  call  the 
Guardian. 

5th  Prince:  What  will  he  say  seeing  us  in  these 
clothes?  He  will  be  vexed  with  us. 

ist  Prince:  It  was  folly  of  us  running  away. 
But  he  will  forgive  us,  knowing  it  will  teach  us 
better  sense. 

2nd  Prince:  Come  to  him  then,  I  don't  mind 
what  he  will  do  to  us  so  long  as  we  are  safe  from 
the  terrible  Grugach  of  an  Ogre.  (All  go  to  right 
door,  it  opens  and  Ogre  bursts  in.) 

Ogre:  Ye  thought  to  deceive  me  did  ye?  Ye 
thought  to  bar  me  out  and  to  keep  me  out  ?  And 
I  after  minding  you  and  caring  you  these  seven 
years! 

3rd  Prince:    What  way  did  you  get  in? 

Ogre:  It's  easy  for  me  to  get  in  any  place.  If 
I  had  a  mind  I  could  turn  into  a  house  fly  and  come 
through  the  lockhole  of  the  door.  It's  much  if  I 
don't  change  the  whole  lot  of  ye  into  small  birds, 
and  myself  to  a  hawk  going  through  you !  Or,  into 
frightened  mice,  and  I  myself  into  a  starving  cat ! 
It's  much  if  I  don't  skin  you  with  this  whip,  and 
grind  your  bones  as  fine  as  rape  seed ! 


The  Jester  269 

4th  Prince:   I  will  call  for  help !    (Tries  to  shout.} 

Ogre:  (Putting  hand  over  his  mouth  and  lifting 
whip.}  Shout  now  and  welcome,  and  it  is  bare 
bones  will  be  left  of  you!  If  it  wasn't  that  I  need 
you  to  search  out  the  golden-handled  sword  for  me 
I'd  throttle  the  whole  of  ye  as  easy  as  I'd  squeeze 
an  egg!  Come  on  now!  Show  me  where  the 
treasure  is  hid. 

5th  Prince:    How  would  we  know? 

Ogre:  Didn't  I  send  ye  spying  it  out,  and  if  it 
fails  ye  to  make  it  out,  I'll  boil  and  bake  you! 

1st  Prince:  (Looking  about  and  pointing  to  end 
of  room.)  It  might  be  there. 

Ogre:  What  way  would  it  be  on  the  bare  floor? 
Search  it  out. 

2nd  Prince:  (Looking  under  a  bench.}  It  might 
be  here. 

Ogre:    It  is  not  there. 

jrd  Prince:  (Looking  up  chimney.}  This  would 
be  a  good  hiding-place. 

Ogre:  (Looks  up.}  There  is  nothing  in  it,  only 
an  old  nest  of  a  jackdaw, — a  bundle  of  bare  twigs. 
Trying  to  deceive  me  you  are  and  to  lead  me 
astray. 

4th  Prince:    It  might  be  on  the  shelf. 

Ogre:  Stop  your  chat  unless  you  have  some- 
thing worth  saying. 

5th  Prince:  (Sitting  down  on  step  under  which 
sword  is  hidden.}  Are  you  certain  there  is  any 
treasure  at  all? 


270  The  Jester 

Ogre:  You  are  humbugging  and  making  a  fool 
of  me!  (Lashes  whip  and  seizes  him.)  Get  up 
now  out  of  that!  (Drags  him  up  and  taps  board.} 
There  is  a  hollow  sort  of  a  sound.  .  .  .  That  is 
a  sort  of  place  where  a  treasure  might  be  hid. 
(Drags  up  board.}  I  see  something  shining. 
(Pulls  out  sword.}  Oh,  it  is  a  lovely  sword!  And 
the  handle  of  pure  gold.  The  best  I  ever  seen ! 

ist  Prince:  (To  the  others.}  I'll  make  a  run  now 
and  call  out  and  awaken  all  in  the  house !  (Is  going 
towards  door.} 

Ogre:  (Seizing  him}  You'd  make  your  escape 
would  you? 

ist  Prince:  (Calling  out.}  Ring  the  big  bell, 
ring  the  bell !  I  forgot  it  till  now. 

(They  pull  a  bell-rope  and  bell  is  heard 

clanging.} 

Ogre:  (Rushing  at  them  as  they  ring  it}  I'll 
stop  that! 

(Voices  are  heard  at  door  to  right.    Ogre 

rushes  to  other  door.} 

2nd  Prince:  I'll  get  the  sword  from  him. 
(Snatches  it  away  as  Ogre  is  rushing  at  him.  Servant 
and  Guardian  come  in} 

Guardian:  What  is  going  on!  (Blows  a 
whistle.}  Here,  soldiers  of  the  guard! 

(Feet  are  heard  marching  and  bugle  blowing  at 
left  door.  Ogre  rapidly  slips  off  his  mask, 
and  appears  as  a  harmless  old  man.} 
Guardian:     Thieves!       Robbers!       Burglars! 


The  Jester  271 

Here,  soldiers,  surround  the  place;  who  are  these 
ruffians?     Murder!     Robbery!    Fire! 
(Two  soldiers  come  in.} 

Servant:  They  are  the  very  same  youngsters 
were  at  our  door  this  morning,  doing  their  play; 
those  Wrenboys ! 

Guardian:  They  are  thieves.  There  is  one 
of  them  bringing  away  my  gold-handled  sword. 
(He  and  Servant  seize  sword.} 

Ogre:  (Coming  forward  and  bowing  low.}  It 
is  time  for  you  to  come,  your  honour  my  lordship ! 
I  am  proud  to  see  you  coming!  It  was  I  myself 
that  rang  the  bell  and  that  called  and  awakened 
you,  where  I  would  not  like  to  see  the  place  robbed 
and  left  bare  by  these  scum  of  the  world! 

All  the  Princes:    Oh!    Oh!    Oh! 

Guardian:  What  have  you  to  do  with  it? 
Where  do  you  come  from? 

Ogre:    An  honest  poor  man  I  am.   .    .    . 

Servant:    You  have  a  queer  wild  sort  of  a  dress. 

Ogre:  Making  a  living  I  do  be,  dressing  up  as  a 
hobgoblin  and  a  bogey  man  to  get  an  odd  copper 
from  a  mother  here  and  there,  would  be  wishful  to 
frighten  a  stubborn  child  from  bawling  or  from 
tricks.  Passing  the  door  I  was,  and  hearing  a 
noise  I  looked  in,  and  these  young  villains  were 
after  rising  a  board  and  taking  out  that  sword  you 
seen  in  their  hands.  It  is  then  that  I  made  a 
clamour  with  the  bell. 

(The  Princes  laugh.) 


272  The  Jester 

Guardian:    Who  are  they  at  all? 

Ogre:  It  is  I  myself  say  it;  they  are  the  terror 
of  the  whole  district. 

ist  Prince:  You  may  save  your  breath  and 
stop  that  talk.  This  gentleman  knows  us  well. 
He  knows  us  and  will  recognise  us. 

Guardian:  I  do  recognise  you.  I  saw  you 
but  yesterday. 

2nd  Prince:    There  now,  what  do  you  say? 

Guardian:  You  are  those  vagabond  Wrenboys 
that  came  tricking  and  begging  to  my  gate. 

Princes:    Oh!    Oh!    Oh!1 

Ogre:  That's  it!  Spying  round  they  were! 
Thinking  to  do  a  robbery !  Robbery  they're  after 
doing ! 

3rd  Prince:    We  were  doing  no  such  thing ! 

Guardian:  You  were!  I  stopped  you  making 
off  with  my  sword  of  Justice. 

Ogre:  If  it  wasn't  for  me  hindering  them  they 
would  have  it  swept. 

Guardian:    That  was  very  honest  of  you. 

4th  Prince:  (Rushing  at  Ogre.}  It  is  you  that 
are  a  rogue  and  a  thief! 

Other  Princes:  Throw  him  down  while  we  have 
the  chance.  (They  surround  him.) 

Guardian:  Silence!  Don't  make  that  dis- 
turbance! I  felt  a  suspicion  yesterday  the  first 
time  I  saw  your  faces  there  was  villainy  hidden 
beneath  the  dust  that  was  on  your  cheeks. 

4th  Prince:    Listen  to  us,  listen ! 


The  Jester  273 

Guardian:  And  whatever  I  thought  then,  you 
are  seventeen  times  more  wicked  looking  now! 
And  the  very  scum  of  the  roads ! 

5th  Prince:  Oh,  have  you  forgotten  your 
nurslings! 

Guardian:  It  is  well  you  reminded  me  of  them. 
(To  Servant.}  Go  now  and  bring  the  young 
Princes  here  till  they  will  see  justice  done!  They 
are  maybe  gone  a  bit  wild  and  foolish  since  yester- 
day, put  out  by  those  Dowager  Messengers.  But 
whatever  they  were  at  their  worst,  they  are  King 
George  compared  with  these ! 

1st  Prince:    You  ww^listen! 

Guardian:  Must!  What  is  that  language! 
That  is  a  word  was  never  said  to  me  since  I  was 
made  the  Queen's  Chamberlain.  Here!  Put  a 
gag  upon  their  mouths!  (Soldiers  do  so,  tying  a 
Itandkerchief  on  mouth  of  each.)  Tie  their  hands 
behind  them  with  ropes.  (This  is  done.)  Rapscal- 
lions !  Do  they  think  to  terrify  and  command  me ! 
I  that  am  not  only  Governor  of  the  Island  but  am 
Supreme  Judge  whenever  I  come  into  this  Court. 

Ogre:  That  is  very  good  and  very  right !  Keep 
the  gag  in  their  mouth!  You  wouldn't  like  to  be 
listening  to  the  things  they  were  saying  a  while 
ago!  They  were  giving  out  great  impudence  and 
very  disrespectful  talk! 

Guardian:  Give  me  here  my  Judge's  wig  and 
my  gown!  (Puts  them  on.)  Where  now  are  the 
young  Princes? 


18 


274  The  Jester 

Servant:    They  are  coming  now. 

Guardian:  It  will  be  a  great  help  in  their  edu- 
cation seeing  justice  done  by  me,  as  straight  as 
was  ever  done  by  Aristides.  Give  me  here  that 
book  of  punishments  and  rewards.  I'll  see  what 
is  bad  enough  for  these  lads!  (He  consults  book.) 

Servant:    Here  now  are  the  Princes. 

(Wrenboys  come  in  wearing  Princes'  clothes.} 

ist  Wrenboy:  (To  another.}  Do  you  see  who  it 
is  that  is  in  it? 

2nd  Wrenboy:  It  is  the  young  Princes  in  our 
clothes! 

3rd  Wrenboy:  What  in  the  world  wide  brought 
them  here?  Believe  me  it  was  through  some 
villainy  of  the  Grugach. 

4th  Wrenboy:    What  at  all  has  happened? 

5th  Wrenboy:  Go  ask  them  what  it  was  brought 
them,  or  what  they  came  doing. 

ist  Wrenboy:  (To  Princes.}  What  is  it  brought 
you  here  so  soon? 

(Princes  shake  their  heads.} 

2nd  Wrenboy:  (Coming  back.}  There  is  a  gag 
on  their  mouths ! 

3rd  Wrenboy:  (Going  and  looking.}  Their 
hands  are  tied  with  a  rope. 

4th  Wrenboy:  They  had  not  the  wit  to  stand 
against  the  Grugach ;  it  is  not  long  till  they  were 
brought  to  trouble. 

5th  Wrenboy:  It  was  seventeen  times  worse 
for  them  to  be  under  him  than  for  ourselves  that 


The  Jester  275 

was  used  to  him,   and  to  his  cruelty  and  his 
ways. 

ist  Wrenboy:  It  was  bad  enough  for  ourselves. 
We  were  not  built  for  roguery. 

(The  Dowager  Messengers  rushing  in.) 

Dowager  Messengers:  (Together.)  What  is 
going  on?  What  has  happened? 

Guardian:  What  you  see  before  you  has  hap- 
pened. Those  young  thieves  came  to  try  and  to 
rob  the  house.  They  were  found  by  myself  in  the 
very  act  of  bringing  away  my  golden -handled 
sword!  They  were  stopped  by  this  honest  man. 
(Points  to  Ogre.) 

ist  Dowager  Messenger:  There  would  seem  to 
be  a  great  deal  of  wickedness  around  this  place ! 

Guardian:  I'll  put  a  stop  to  it!  I'll  use  my 
rights  as  Judge!  To  have  that  sort  of  villainy 
running  through  the  Island,  it  would  come  through 
walls  of  glass  or  of  marble,  and  lead  away  the 
best. 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:  There  must  be  some- 
thing gone  wrong  in  the  stars,  our  own  young 
princes  having  gone  wild  out  of  measure,  and 
these  young  vagabonds  doing  no  less  than  house- 
breaking  !  It  is  hard  to  live ! 

Ogre:  Indeed,  ma'am,  it  would  be  a  great  bless- 
ing to  the  world  if  all  the  boys  in  it  could  be  born 
grown  up. 

Guardian:  (Sighing.)  I,  myself,  am  beginning 
to  have  that  same  opinion. 


276  The  Jester 

ist  Dowager  Messenger:  And  so  am  I  myself. 
Young  men  have  strength  and  beauty,  and  old 
men  have  knowledge  and  wisdom,  but  as  to  boys! 
After  what  we  saw  a  while  ago  in  the  supper  room! 

Servant:  The  Court  is  about  to  sit!  Take 
your  places! 

(Wreriboys  make  for  the  dock  and  Princes 
the  jury-box.) 

Guardian:  What  do  you  mean  prisoners,  going 
up  there,  that  is  the  place  for  honourable  men! 
For  a  jury!  It  is  here  in  the  criminals'  dock  your 
place  is. 

Servant:  (To  Wrenboys.)  Oh,  that  is  the 
wrong  place  you're  in.  That  is  for  the  wicked  and 
the  poor  that  are  brought  to  be  tried  and  con- 
demned. 

ist  Wrenboy:  It  is  a  place  the  like  of  that  I  was 
put  one  time  I  was  charged  before  a  magistrate 
for  snaring  rabbits. 

Servant:  Silence  in  the  Court!  The  Judge  is 
about  to  speak ! 

Guardian:    (Reading  out  of  book.) 
It's  laid  down  in  a  clause  of  the  Cretian  laws, 
That  were  put  through  a  filter  by  Solon, 
That  for  theft  the  first  time,  though  a  capital 

crime 

A  criminal  may  keep  his  poll  on. 
Though  (consults  another  book)  some  jurists  believe 
That  a  wretch  who  can  thieve, 
Has  earned  a  full  stop,  not  a  colon. 


The  Jester  277 

Ogre:    That  was  said  by  a  better  than  Solon. 

Guardian: 

And  the  book  says  in  sum,  to  cut  off  the  left  thumb, 
May  be  penalty  enough  for  a  warning; 
Though  (looks  at  another  book)  the  commentors  say 
That  one  let  off  that  way 
Will  be  thieving  again  before  morning. 

Ogre:    So  he  will,  and  the  jury  suborning. 

Guardian: 
For    the    second    offence,    as  the   crime's   more 

immense, 

Take  the  thumb  off  the  right  hand  instead; 
And  the  third  time  he'll  steal,  without  any  appeal, 
The  hangman's  to  whip  off  his  head. 

Ogre: 

Very  right  to  do  so,  for  a  thief  as  we  know, 
Isn't  likely  to  steal  when  he's  dead. 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger: 

You  won't  order  the  worst,  as  this  crime  is  the  first, 
It's  a  pity  if  they  have  to  swing. 

Guardian: 

In  the  Commentors'  sense,  a  primal  offence 
Is  as  much  an  impossible  thing 
As  a  stream  without  source,  a  blow  struck  without 

force, 
Or  leaves  without  roots  in  the  spring. 

Ogre:    Or  a  catapult  wanting  a  sling. 

Guardian: 

But  although  this  case  is  proved  on  its  face 
To  be  what  is  called  a  priori 


278  The  Jester 

I  cannot  refuse  to  consider  the  views 

Of  the  amiable  lady  before  me.     (Bows  to  2nd 

Dowager  Messenger.) 
In  compliance  to  her  I  am  ready  to  err 
On  the  side  that  she  leans  to,  of  mercy, 
For  she  has  a  kind  tongue,  and  the  prisoners  are 

young; 

But  that  they  may  not  live  to  curse  me, 
I  give  out  my  decree,  the  left  thumb  shall  be 
Kept  in  Court  till  the  next  time  they'll  come. 
And  now  if  you  please  let  whoever  agrees 
With  my  pledge  turn  down  his  own  thumb. 

ist  Dowager  Messenger:  It  is  very  just  and 
right.  (Turns  down  hers.) 

Ogre:  You're  letting  them  off  too  easy. 
They're  a  bad  example  to  the  world.  But  to  take 
the  thumb  off  them  is  better  than  nothing! 
(Turns  down  both  his  thumbs.) 

Guardian:  (To  Wrenboys.)  Well,  my  dear 
pupils,  I  don't  see  you  turn  down  your  thumbs. 

ist  Wrenboy:  We  cannot  do  it.  (They  cover 
their  faces  with  their  hands.) 

Ogre:  Get  on  so.  I  never  saw  the  work  I'd 
sooner  do  than  checking  youngsters ! 

Guardian:    Where  is  the  Executioner? 

Servant:  I  sent  seeking  him  a  while  ago,  think- 
ing he  might  be  needed. 

Guardian:    Bring  him  in. 

Servant:  He  is  not  in  it.  There  was  so  little 
business  for  him  this  long  time  under  your  own 


The  Jester  279 

peaceable  rule,  that  he  is  after  leaving  us,  and 
taking  a  job  in  a  slaughter  house  out  in  foreign. 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:  Maybe  that  is  a  token 
we  should  let  them  off. 

Ogre:  (Briskly.}  I  am  willing  to  be  useful; 
give  me  here  a  knife  or  a  hatchet ! 

Servant:  (To  Ogre.}  You  need  not  be  pushing 
yourself  forward.  (To  Guardian.}  There  is  a 
stranger  of  an  Executioner  chanced  to  be  passing 
the  road,  just  as  I  sent  out,  and  he  looking  for 
work.  He  said  he  would  do  the  job  for  a  four- 
penny  bit  and  his  dinner,  that  he  is  sitting  down 
to  now. 

Guardian:    (Sitting  up  straight  and  taking  up 
sword.) 
Bring  him  in  quick.     It  often  seems  a  curious 

thing  that  I, 
Who  in  my  ordinary  clothes  would  hardly  hurt  a 

%, 

Hold  to  the  rigour  of  the  law  when  I  put  on  gown 

and  wig, 

As  if  for  mere  humanity  I  didn't  care  a  fig. 
For  once  I'm  seated  on  the  bench  I  do  not  shrink 

or  flinch 
From  the  reddest  laws  of  Draco,  or  the  practice 

of  Judge  Lynch. 
Servant:    (At  door.)    Here  he  is  now. 

(Jester  comes  in,  disguised  as  Executioner,  a 

long  cloak  with  hood  over  his  head} 
Guardian:    Here  is  the  sword  (hands  it  to  him 


280  The  Jester 

and  reads),  "In  case  of  the  first  act  of  theft  the 
left  thumb  is  to  be  struck  off."  There  are  the 
criminals  before  you.  That  is  what  you  have  to  do. 

Jester:  (Taking  the  sword.)  Stretch  out  your 
hands!  There  is  hurry  on  me.  I  was  sitting  at 
the  dinner  I  engaged  for.  I  was  called  away 
from  the  first  mouthful,  and  I  would  wish  to  go 
back  to  the  second  mouthful  that  is  getting  cold. 

Guardian:  (Relenting.)  Maybe  now  the  fright 
would  be  enough  to  keep  them  from  crimes  from 
this  out.  They  are  but  young. 

Jester:  (To  Princes.)  Don't  be  keeping  me 
waiting!  Put  out  now  your  hands.  (They  shake 
their  heads.) 

Servant:    They  cannot  do  that,  being  bound. 

Jester:  If  you  will  not  stretch  out  your  hands 
when  I  ask  you,  I  will  strike  off  your  heads  without 
asking!  (Flourishes  sword.) 

Guardian:  (Standing  up.)  I  did  not  empower 
you  to  go  so  far  as  that!  It  is  without  my 
authority! 

Jester:  You  have  given  over  the  power  of  the 
law  to  the  power  of  the  sword.  It  must  take  its 
way! 

Guardian:  I  will  not  give  in  to  that!  I  have 
all  authority  here! 

Jester:  If  you  grow  wicked  with  the  Judge's 
wig  on  your  head,  so  do  I  with  this  sword  in  my 
hand!  You  called  me  in  to  do  a  certain  busi- 
ness and  I  am  going  to  do  it!  I  am  not  going 


The  Jester  281 

to  get  a  bad  name  put  on  me  for  breach  of  con- 
tract! If  a  labourer  is  given  piece  work  cutting 
thistles  with  a  hook  he  is  given  leave  to  do  it,  or 
a  rat  catcher  doing  away  with  vermin  in  the  same 
way!  He  is  not  bid  after  his  trouble  to  let  them 
go  loose  out  of  his  bag !  And  why  would  an  Exe- 
cutioner that  is  higher  again  in  the  profession  be 
checked.  Isn't  my  pride  in  my  work  the  same  as 
theirs?  And  along  with  that,  let  me  tell  you  I 
belong  to  a  Trades  Union ! 

(Guardian  moans  and  covers  his  face.) 
(To  the  Princes.)  Kneel  down  now!  Where  you 
kept  me  so  long  waiting  and  that  the  Judge  at- 
tempted to  interfere  with  me,  I  have  my  mind 
made  up  to  make  an  end  of  you!  (Holds  up 
sword.) 

ist  Wrenboy:  (Rushing  forward  and  putting  his 
arms  about  Prince.)  You  must  not  touch  him! 
These  lads  never  did  any  harm ! 

2nd  Wrenboy:  (Protecting  a  Prince.)  It  is  we 
ourselves  are  to  be  punished  if  anyone  must  be 
punished. 

3rd  Wrenboy:  They  are  innocent  whoever  is  to 
blame. 

Jester:  Take  their  place  so !  Someone  must  be 
put  an  end  to. 

(All  the  Wrenboy s  kneel.) 

ist  Wrenboy:  Here  we  are  so.  We  changed 
places  with  them  for  our  own  pleasure,  thinking 
to  lead  a  prince's  life,  and  if  there  is  anyone  must 


282  The  Jester 

suffer  by  reason  of  that  change  let  it  be  our- 
selves. 

Jester:  I'll  take  off  their  gags  so  and  let  them 
free. 

(He  cuts  cords  oj  gags  and  hands,  then  throws 
some  dust  over  all  boys  as  before  saying): 
•  w::-  Dust  of  Mullein  leave  the  eyes 
You  made  fail  to  recognise 
Princes  in  their  poor  disguise; 
Princes  all,  had  men  clear  eyes ! 
(The  Princes  throw  off  their  masks.) 
ist  Prince:    It  is  all  a  mistake!    Oh,  Guardian, 
don't  you  know  now  that  we  are  your  nurslings 
and  your  wards!     Look  at  the  royal  mark  upon 
our  arm,  that  we  brought  with  us  into  the  world. 
(They  turn  up  sleeves  and  show  their  arms.) 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:  I  am  satisfied  without 
looking  at  the  royal  sign.  I  have  been  looking  at 
their  finger  nails.  Those  other  nails  (pointing  to 
Wrenboys)  have  never  been  touched  with  a  soapy 
brush. 

2nd  Prince:  It  is  strange  you  did  not  recognise 
us.  It  was  that  Jester  yesterday  when  we  changed 
out  coats  that  threw  a  dust  of  disguise  between 
you  and  us. 

ist  Dowager  Messenger:    Was  it  that  these  lads 
robbed  you  of  your  clothes  ? 
3rd  Prince:    Not  at  all. 

4th  Prince:  We  ourselves  that  were  discon- 
tented and  wishful  to  change  places  with  them. 


The  Jester  283 

Guardian:  A  very  foolish  thing,  and  that  I  have 
never  read  of  in  any  of  my  histories. 

5  th  Prince:  We  were  the  first  to  wish  the  change. 
It  is  we  should  be  blamed. 

5th  Wreriboy:  No,  but  put  the  blame  on  us! 
The  Wrenboys  you  seen  yesterday. 

Guardian:  Ah,  be  quiet,  how  do  I  know  who 
you  are,  or  if  ever  I  saw  you  before!  My  poor 
head  is  going  round  and  round. 

1st  Wrenboy:  Now  do  you  know  us!  (All 
recite  "The  Wren,  the  Wren,  the  King  oj  All  Birds" 
Give  first  verse.} 

Guardian:  (Stopping  his  ears.}  Oh,  stop  it! 
That  makes  my  poor  head  worse  again. 

2nd  Wrenboy:     (Pulling  up  sleeve.}     If  you  had 
chanced  to  see  our  right  arm  you  would  recognise 
us.     We  were  not  without  bringing  a  mark  into 
the  world  with  us,  if  it  is  not  royal  itself. 
(Wrenboys  strip  their  arms.} 

ist  Dowager  Messenger:  What  is  he  talking 
about  ?  (Seizes  arm  and  looks  at  it.} 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:  It  is  the  same  mark  as 
is  on  the  princes,  the  sign  and  token  of  a  King ! 

ist  Dowager  Messenger:  It  is  certain  these  must 
be  their  five  little  royal  cousins,  that  were  stolen 
away  from  the  coast. 

ist  Wrenboy:  If  we  were  brought  away  it  was 
by  that  Grugach  that  has  kept  us  in  his  service 
through  the  years. 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:    It  is  no  wonder  they 


284  The  Jester 

took  to  one  another.     It  was  easy  to  know  by  the 
way  they  behaved  they  had  in  them  royal  blood. 
(The  Boys  turn  to  each  other,  the  Ogre  is 
slipping  out.} 

Jester:  (Throwing  off  his  cloak  and  showing  his 
green  ragged  clothes.')  Stop  where  you  are! 

Ogre:  Do  your  best !  You  cannot  hinder  me ! 
I  have  spells  could  change  the  whole  of  ye  to  a 
cairn  of  grey  stones !  (Makes  signs  with  his  hands. ) 

Jester:  (In  a  terrible  voice.}  Are  you  thinking 
to  try  your  spells  against  mine? 

Ogre:  (Trembling  and  falling  on  his  knees.) 
Oh,  spare  me!  Hold  your  hand!  Do  not  use 
against  me  your  spells  of  life  and  death !  I  know 
you  now!  I  know  you  well  through  your  ragged 
dress!  What  are  my  spells  beside  yours?  You 
the  great  Master  of  all  magic  and  all  enchantments, 
Manannan,  Son  of  the  Sea ! 

Jester:  Yes,  I  am  Manannan,  that  men  are 
apt  to  call  a  Jester  and  a  Fool,  and  a  Disturber, 
and  a  Mischief-maker,  upsetting  the  order  of  the 
world  and  making  confusion  in  its  order  and  its 
ways.  (Recites  or  sings.) 

For  when  I  see  a  master 
Hold  back  his  hireling's  fee 
I  shake  my  pepper  castor 
Into  his  sweetened  tea ! 

And  when  I  see  a  plan  make 
The  Birds  that  watch  us  frown, 


The  Jester  285 

I  come  and  toss  the  pancake 
And  turn  it  upside  down ! 

In  this  I  follow  after 
Lycurgus  who  was  wise ; 
To  the  little  god  of  laughter 
I  make  my  sacrifice ! 

And  now  here  is  my  word  of  command !    Everyone 
into  his  right  place ! 

Ogre:    Spare  me!     Let  me  go  this  time! 

Jester:  Go  out  now !  I  will  not  bring  a  blemish 
on  this  sword  by  striking  off  your  ugly  head.  But 
as  you  have  been  through  seven  years  an  enemy 
to  these  young  boys,  keeping  them  in  ignorance 
and  dirt,  they  that  are  sons  of  a  king,  I  cross  and 
command  you  to  go  groping  through  holes  and  dirt 
and  darkness  through  three  times  seven  years  in 
the  shape  of  a  rat,  with  every  boy,  high  or  low, 
gentle  or  simple,  your  pursuer  and  your  enemy. 
And  along  with  that  I  would  recommend  you  to 
keep  out  of  the  way  of  your  own  enchanted  cats ! 
(Ogre  gives  a  squeal  and  creeps  away  on  all  fours.) 

Guardian:  I  think  I  will  give  up  business  and 
go  back  to  my  old  trade  of  Chamberlain  and  of 
shutting  out  draughts  from  the  Court.  The 
weight  of  years  is  coming  on  me,  and  it  is  time  for 
me  to  set  my  mind  to  some  quiet  path. 

ist  Dowager  Messenger:  Come  home  with  us 
so,  and  help  us  to  attend  to  our  cats,  that  they  will 
be  able  to  destroy  the  rats  of  the  world. 


286  The  Jester 

2nd  Dowager  Messenger:  (To  Princes.)  It  is 
best  for  you  come  to  your  Godmother's  Court,  as 
your  Guardian  is  showing  the  way. 

ist  Prince:  We  may  come  and  give  news  of 
our  doings  at  the  end  of  a  year  and  a  day. 

But  now  we  will  go  with  our  comrades  to  learn 
their  work  and  their  play. 

2nd  Prince:  For  lying  on  silken  cushions,  or 
stretched  on  a  feathery  bed. 

We  would  long  again  for  the  path  by  the  lake, 
and  the  wild  swans  overhead. 

^rd  Prince:  Till  we'll i  harden  our  bodies 
with  wrestling  and  get  courage  to  stand  in  a 
fight. 

4th  Prince:  And  not  to  be  blind  in  the  woods 
or  in  dread  of  the  darkness  of  night. 

ist  Wrenboy:  And  we  who  are  ignorant  block- 
heads, and  never  were  reared  to  know 

The  art  of  the  languaged  poets,  it's  along  with 
you  we  will  go. 

$th  Prince:  Come  show  us  the  wisdom  of 
woods,  and  the  way  to  outrun  the  wild  deer, 

Till  we'll  harden  our  minds  with  courage,  and 
be  masters  of  hardship  and  fear. 

2nd  Wrenboy:  But  you  are  candles  of  know- 
ledge, and  we'll  give  you  no  ease  or  peace, 

Till  you'll  learn  us  manners  and  music,  and 
news  of  the  Wars  of  Greece. 

ist  Prince:  Come  on,  we  will  help  one  another, 
and  going  together  we'll  find, 


The  Jester  287 

Joy  with  those  great  companions,  Earth,  Water, 
Fire,  and  Wind.     (They  join  hands.) 

Jester:    It's  likely  you'll  do  great  actions,  for 
there  is  an  ancient  word, 

That  comradeship  is  better  than  the  parting  of 
the  sword, 

And  that  if  ever  two  natures  should  join  and 
grow  into  one, 

They  will  do  more  together  than  the  world  has 
ever  done. 

So  now  I've  ended  my  business,  and  I'll  go,  for 
my  road  is  long, 

But  be  sure  the  Jester  will  find  you  out,  if  ever 
things  go  wrong ! 

(He  goes  off  singing.) 
And  so  I  follow  after 
Lycurgus  who  was  wise ; 
To  the  little  god  of  laughter 
I  pay  my  sacrifice ! 


CURTAIN 


NOTES  FOR  THE  JESTER 

I  was  asked  one  Christmas  by  a  little  schoolboy  to 
write  a  play  that  could  be  acted  at  school ;  and  in  look- 
ing for  a  subject  my  memory  went  back  to  a  story 
I  had  read  in  childhood  called  "The  Discontented 
Children,"  where,  though  I  forget  its  incidents,  the 
gamekeeper's  children  changed  places  for  a  while 
with  the  children  of  the  Squire,  and  I  thought  I  might 
write  something  on  these  lines.  But  my  mind  soon 
went  miching  as  our  people  (and  Shakespeare)  would 
say,  and  broke  through  the  English  hedges  into  the 
unbounded  wonder-world.  Yet  it  did  not  quite  run 
out  of  reach  of  human  types,  for  having  found  some 
almost  illegible  notes,  I  see  that  at  the  first  appearance 
of  Manannan  I  had  put  in  brackets  the  initials 
"G.B.S. "  And  looking  now  at  the  story  of  that 
Great  Jester,  in  the  history  of  the  ancient  gods,  I  see 
that  for  all  his  quips  and  mischief  and  "tricks  and 
wonders,"  he  came  when  he  was  needed  to  the  help 
of  Finn  and  the  Fianna,  and  gave  good  teaching  to 
the  boy-hero,  Cuchulain;  and  I  read  also  that  "all  the 
food  he  would  use  would  be  a  vessel  of  sour  milk  or  a 
few  crab-apples.  And  there  never  was  any  music 
sweeter  than  the  music  he  used  to  be  playing." 

I  have  without  leave  borrowed  a  phrase  from  "The 
Candle  of  Vision,"  written  by  my  liberal  fellow- 

288 


The  Jester  289 

countryman,  A.  E.,  where  he  says,  "I  felt  at  times  as 
one  raised  from  the  dead,  made  virginal  and  pure, 
who  renews  exquisite  intimacies  with  the  divine  com- 
panions, with  Earth,  Water,  Air,  and  Fire."  And  I 
think  he  will  forgive  me  for  quoting  another  passage 
now  from  the  same  book,  for  I  think  it  must  have  been 
in  my  mind  when  I  wrote  of  my  Wrenboys:  "The 
lands  of  Immortal  Youth  which  flush  with  magic  the 
dreams  of  childhood,  for  most  sink  soon  below  far 
horizons  and  do  not  again  arise.  For  around  childhood 
gather  the  wizards  of  the  darkness  and  they  baptize  it 
and  change  its  imagination  of  itself,  as  in  the  Arabian 
tales  of  enchantment  men  were  changed  by  sorcerers 
who  cried,  'Be  thou  beast  or  bird.'  So  ...  is  the 
imagination  of  life  about  itself  changed  and  one  will 
think  he  is  a  worm  in  the  sight  of  Heaven,  he  who  is 
but  a  god  in  exile.  .  .  .  What  palaces  they  were 
born  in,  what  dominions  they  are  rightly  heir  to,  are 
concealed  from  them  as  in  the  fairy  tale  the  stolen 
prince  lives  obscurely  among  the  swineherd.  Yet  at 
times  men  do  not  remember,  in  dreams  or  in  the  deeps 
of  sleep,  they  still  wear  sceptre  and  diadem  and  par- 
take of  the  banquet  of  the  gods." 

The  Wrenboys  still  come  to  our  door  at  Coole  on 
St.  Stephen's  Day,  as  they  used  in  my  childhood  to 
come  to  Roxborough,  but  it  is  in  our  bargain  that  the 
wren  itself  must  be  symbolic,  unmolested,  no  longer 
killed  in  vengeance  for  that  one  in  the  olden  times 
that  awakened  the  sentinels  of  the  enemy  Danes  by 
pecking  at  crumbs  on  a  drum.  And,  indeed,  these 
last  two  or  three  years  the  rhymes  concerning  that 


290  The  Jester 

old  history  have  been  lessened,  and  their  place  taken 
by  "The  Soldiers  Song." 

I  think  the  staging  of  the  play  is  easy.  The  Ogre's 
hut  may  be  but  a  shallow  front  scene,  a  curtain  that 
can  be  drawn  away.  The  masks  are  such  as  might 
be  used  by  Wrenboys,  little  paper  ones,  such  as  one 
finds  in  a  Christmas  cracker,  held  on  with  a  bit  of 
elastic,  and  would  help  to  get  the  change  into  the  eyes 
of  the  audience,  which  Manannan's  Mullein-dust  may 
not  have  reached. 


Air:      "Shule  AroorT 


•  '  r  r 


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PIS 


m 


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Air:      "Mo  Bhuachailin  Buidhe  " 

Brightly 


•f- fr     m       m       f       a       j~rf~ 

g— J  g  C  fr— ;— ETE 


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|j       I.       ^       U       !j —  V       !.       d *- 


Air:       'The  Bells  of  Shandon  " 

Sonorously 


A 


1 — fv- 


My  brain  grows  rus  -  ty,  my  mind   is    dus  -  ty 


The  time  I'm  dwelling  with  the  like     of  ye;  While  my  spir- 


^a 

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it       rang  -  es  through  all  the     changes  could  turn  the 

I 

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world     to  f  el  -  is  -  it  -  y   When  Ar  -  is  -  tot-le 

41 


The  Time  I've  Lost  in  Wooing 


Poco  allegretto. 


4 


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1 


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My  Molly-O 


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Air:      "ODonallAbu 


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The  Bard  of  Armagh 


Slow. 


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^~—«~ • — 


Air:     "  Dear  Harp  of  My  Country 


* 


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N *• 

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m 


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f N 


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I  wish  I  had  the  shepherd's  lamb 


-PS — N — i— 


r- *— r 


si 


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I   wish  I    bad  the   shep-herd's  lamb, the  shep-herd's  lamb, the 


rv     N     p 


shepherd'slamb,  I  wish    I     had  the  shepherd's  lamb,  And 


i 


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Ka  -  tie    com  -  ing     af    -    ten    Iso     o        gur  -  rim 


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gur -rim  hoo    iso  gra  -  ma-chree  gon  kel  -  lig   hoo,    Iso 


o      gnr-rim  gar-rim  hoo,Sthoo  pat-tha  beg  dho  wau  -  her. 


Air:      "Let  Erin  Remember*' 


*    *  • 


m 


s_« — ^ 


tz=*: 


p — *-=a— ^- 


Air:     "And  doth  not  a  meeting  like  this 


1 


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Garryowen 


Quickly. 


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Air:      "OBay  of  Dublin" 


-F-s 0- 


F — P*- 


— j-  ^- z-^. — M —  C  *       -m m — Ua." — ill 


The  Cruiskeen  Lan 

With  expression. 


f  _j  -         •       '  •    • 


3==?5cfcr3qrr7"f — r~3 
t=^5i.^^-L_J-3 


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I     - 


The  Beautiful  City  of  Sligo 

Quickly. 


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1 


The  Deserter's  Meditation 


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^  -  b*-F*-  —  k  —  '  -  •  —  ^-T  —  K 
^  -  %-\-  -  0—0  --  •*  •  0 


Oft  in  the  Stilly  Night 


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rf~— J^-* — ^H^- 


3fe— 4: 


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g N- ix — i 1 — -K — i — - — g-. ^ — '- 

-"* — ^ — 9—9 — »—  •+-. — ^— w — 9—  z r~r 


— N — * 1- 


Johnny,  I  hardly  knew  you 


Spirited 


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^P-J — P- 


By  Memory  Inspired 


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3*— * 


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Htza 


Eileen  Aroon 


=1= 


»— i— i — \- 


-i IN- 


Air:      "  The  Shan  Van  Vocht " 


>•-& 


-*--•• 


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I-         L 


H 3- 


Air:     "I  saw  from  the  beach 


>••*••  •  *  * 


I.         N 


ft  Is  N 


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•        • 


CT  r  r  r  r  i*  i* 

k  w  ix    p    p  =F=g=g= 


»-- 


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0 


Air:     "Silent,  OMoyle" 


-*r-*- 


— N- 


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m 


^Eg^^J 

ff— a J 


J— +•— 


*       *.    *— g=g-^— te=j^ 


-*j+ 


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An  Spailin  Fanach 

Moderately 


Air:     "The  Last  Rose  of  Summer*' 


Uk )t 


Jt  Selection  from  the 
Catalogue  of 

G.  P.  PUTNAM'S  SONS 


Complete  Catalogue*  sent 
on  application 


Three  Plays 

By 

A.  A.  Milne 


Mr.  Milne  is  one  of  the  few  English  play- 
wrights enjoying  the  distinction  of  having  their 
plays  successfully  produced  both  in  London  and 
New  York,  and  of  these  few  he  is  undoubtedly 
the  most  popular.  England  and  America  alike 
have  warmly  welcomed  the  plays  in  this  volume, 
The  Dover  Road,  The  Great  Broioppf  and  The 
Truth  About  Blayds,  Of  the  latter  the  N.  Y, 
Evening  Post  says:  "  It  is  a  real  comedy.  The 
sparkling  but  unlabored  dialogue,  the  deft  and 
vital  sketches  of  character,  the  strokes  of  keen 
but  not  unkindly  satire,  the  essential  veracity  of 
the  picture  and  the  freshness  of  it  all  met  with 
instant  appreciation." 

Many  critics  rank  The  Dover  Road  and  The 
Great  Brozopp  even  higher  than  the  one  just 
mentioned. 


G.  P.  Putnam's  Sons 

New  York  London 


IF 


By 

Lord  Dunsany 

Try  to  imagine  in  your  own  life  what  might 
have  happened,  if  at  some  particular  moment  in 
it,  you  had  acted  differently.  This  is  the  story 
of  a  man  who  one  day,  years  ago,  missed  the 
8.15  to  town,  and  of  all,  in  consequence,  he 
missed  besides.  The  scene  of  the  play  is  mainly 
laid  in  the  east  and  concerns  the  powers  of  a 
magic  crystal  which  "  undid "  ten  years  of  a 
man's  life  and  substituted  ten  other  most  amaz- 
ing ones. 

"  Here  is  a  blend  of  the  strange  and  romantic 
with  the  commonplace  and  banal  fashioned  with 
masterly  skill  and  with  rich  humor.  The  reader 
will  peruse  with  delight  and  wait  with  impatience 
for  the  theatre  manager  to  stage  it." 

Philadelphia  Public  Ledger. 


G.  P.  Putnam's  Sons 

New  York  London 


The  Supernatural  in 
Modern  English  Fiction 

By 

Dorothy  Scarborough 

In  a  style  brilliant  and  incisive,  the  author 
has  written  a  book  that,  in  these  days 
when  the  occult  is  receiving  so  much  serious 
attention,  should  appeal  not  only  to  those 
interested  in  literary  history,  but,  to  all 
who  have  faith  that  there  are  forces  about 
us,  as  yet  imperfectly  explored,  it  is  true, 
that  partake  of  the  supernatural.  While 
paying  tribute  to  the  convincing  achieve- 
ments in  this  division  of  fiction  the  author 
has  been  quick  to  detect  the  literary  char- 
latan and  to  expose  his  lack  of  sincerity 
with  her  keen  comments. 


G.  P.  Putnam's  Sons 

New  York  London 


Seven  Short  Plays 

noJbi?  fi&s%n'i  im&oM 

Lady  Gregory 

Author  of  "New  Comedies,"  "Our  Irish  Theatre,"  etc. 
72°. 

The  plays  in  this  volume  are  the  following: 
Spreading  the  Newst  Hyacinth  Halvey,  The 
Rising  of  the  Moon,  The  Jackdaw,  The  Work*- 
house  Ward,  The  Travelling  Man,  The  Gaol  Gate, 
The  volume  also  contains  music  for  the  songs  in 
the  plays  and  notes  explaining  the  conception  of 
the  plays. 

Among  the  three  great  exponents  of  the 
modern  Celtic  movement  hi  Ireland,  Lady 
Gregory  holds  an  unusual  place.  It  is  she  from 
whom  came  the  chief  historical  impulse  which 
resulted  hi  the  re-creation  for  the  present 
generation  of  the  elemental  poetry  of  early 
Ireland,  its  wild  disorders,  its  loves  and  hates — 
all  the  passionate  light  and  shadow  of  that  fierce 
and  splendid  race. 

G.  P.  Putnam's  Sons 

New  York  London 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY,  LOS  ANGELES 

COLLEGE  LIBRARY 

This  book  is  due  on  the  last  date  stamped  below. 


Book  Slip-10m-5,'58(372.7s4)4280 


UCLA-College  Library 

PR  4728  G5t 


L  005  697  613  7 


College 
Library 

PR 
U728 


ji          •'"••' •'  "••! 


